Catholic Church approves iPhone app for Confession.

[Adios]

Anybody want to go in for iPhone Devkit?  I'm certain that a sin checklist for every flavor of Satanism Prostitution will sell MUCH better.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."

"Please hold."

"Last Rights line, Father Richter speaking."

"Oh hi, I'm not really dieing, but I needed to confess and all your other lines were busy."

"This line is reserved for the dieing sir, please be patient and another priest will be..."

"You guys are ridiculous!  I want to make my confession and receive absolution and you're turning me away?"

"Somebody's grandmother is going to hell because you've kept me busy sir.  I'm hanging up."

"Hi, my name is Johnny and my mommy said I could call and confess."

"How old are you Johnny?"

"11"

"I'm sorry but all young boys under the age of 12 must confess in person."

"Thank you for calling Confession Hotline, this is Father O'Malley, you may begin your confession at any time."

"Eh Father, this is Tony.  It's been three days since my last confession."

"Go ahead Tony"

"Well Father you see, there was this guy and he was someplace he really shouldn't have been and the boss asked me to take care of the problem."

"I see Tony, so what happened?"

"Well you see Father, I'm getting ready to bury him right now and I wondered if you'd give him last rites?"

click click tap tap

"Father you there?"

click click

"Tony hold the phone to his ear."

"Dómine, non sum dignus, ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanábitur ánima mea."

click click tap tap

"Dómine sancte, Pater omnipotens, aetérne Deus, te fidéliter deprecámur, ut accipiénti fratri nostro (soróri nostrae) sacrosanctum Corpus Dómini nostri Jesu Christi Fillii tui, tam córpori quam animae prost ad remédium sempitérnum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat. Amen."

"Father, are you still there?"

"Yes, Tony."

"Father, there are 5 cop cars coming towards me.... wait they are stopping.  OH My God Father...  BANG BANG BANG"

"Hello, this is Agent Thomas with the FBI, to whom am I speaking?"

"Agent, this is Father O'Malley, can you hold the phone up to the ear of the person you just shot please...."

"Dómine, non sum dignus, ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanábitur ánima mea."

"Dómine sancte, Pater omnipotens, aetérne Deus, te fidéliter deprecámur, ut accipiénti fratri nostro (soróri nostrae) sacrosanctum Corpus Dómini nostri Jesu Christi Fillii tui, tam córpori quam animae prost ad remédium sempitérnum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat. Amen."

[Don Coyote]

"Hello, I was just in an accident and am dying, I need to make a confession right away."

"Please hold."

"Last Rights line, Father Richter speaking."

"Oh hi, I'm not really dieing, but I needed to confess and all your other lines were busy."

"This line is reserved for the dieing sir, please be patient and another priest will be..."

"You guys are ridiculous!  I want to make my confession and receive absolution and you're turning me away?"

"Somebody's grandmother is going to hell because you've kept me busy sir.  I'm hanging up."

"Hi, my name is Johnny and my mommy said I could call and confess."

"How old are you Johnny?"

"11"

"I'm sorry but all young boys under the age of 12 must confess in person."

"Thank you for calling Confession Hotline, this is Father O'Malley, you may begin your confession at any time."

"Eh Father, this is Tony.  It's been three days since my last confession."

"Go ahead Tony"

"Well Father you see, there was this guy and he was someplace he really shouldn't have been and the boss asked me to take care of the problem."

"I see Tony, so what happened?"

"Well you see Father, I'm getting ready to bury him right now and I wondered if you'd give him last rites?"

click click tap tap

"Father you there?"

click click

"Tony hold the phone to his ear."

"Dómine, non sum dignus, ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanábitur ánima mea."

click click tap tap

"Dómine sancte, Pater omnipotens, aetérne Deus, te fidéliter deprecámur, ut accipiénti fratri nostro (soróri nostrae) sacrosanctum Corpus Dómini nostri Jesu Christi Fillii tui, tam córpori quam animae prost ad remédium sempitérnum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat. Amen."

"Father, are you still there?"

"Yes, Tony."

"Father, there are 5 cop cars coming towards me.... wait they are stopping.  OH My God Father...  BANG BANG BANG"

"Hello, this is Agent Thomas with the FBI, to whom am I speaking?"

"Agent, this is Father O'Malley, can you hold the phone up to the ear of the person you just shot please...."

"Dómine, non sum dignus, ut intres sub tectum meum: sed tantum dic verbo, et sanábitur ánima mea."

"Dómine sancte, Pater omnipotens, aetérne Deus, te fidéliter deprecámur, ut accipiénti fratri nostro (soróri nostrae) sacrosanctum Corpus Dómini nostri Jesu Christi Fillii tui, tam córpori quam animae prost ad remédium sempitérnum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat. Amen."

[Suu]

A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.

Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.

[Adios]

A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.

Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.

damn

[Luna]

A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.

Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.

Friend of mine referred to the one she fondly remembers as "Father Whatawaste."

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.

Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.

damn

I wonder if he is the same Father O'Malley who now works for the Diocese in St. Pete?  

If so, I can say, STILL SMOKING!!

[Suu]

A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.

Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.

damn

I wonder if he is the same Father O'Malley who now works for the Diocese in St. Pete?  

If so, I can say, STILL SMOKING!!

...Yes.

He started at St. Raphael's, which was my parish. 

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.

Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.

damn

I wonder if he is the same Father O'Malley who now works for the Diocese in St. Pete?  

If so, I can say, STILL SMOKING!!

...Yes.

He started at St. Raphael's, which was my parish. 

If I hadn't already left the church before, I would have kidnapped him and taken him with me on my sinful escape. 


Oh the dreams.... the dreams.... 

[Jenne]

LOVE this.  God Bless America.  ETA:  Of course, they've had the call to prayer app for Muslims for a while now.

[Suu]

A Father O'Malley is one of the driving forces for me no longer being Catholic.

Suu
-Was 16, he was 22 and SMOKING HOT.

damn

I wonder if he is the same Father O'Malley who now works for the Diocese in St. Pete?  

If so, I can say, STILL SMOKING!!

...Yes.

He started at St. Raphael's, which was my parish. 

If I hadn't already left the church before, I would have kidnapped him and taken him with me on my sinful escape. 


Oh the dreams.... the dreams.... 

He transferred to the parish as a deacon when I was like 14 (so he was 19), and he came into my youth group to meet us all. I was like, "Well, shit. This is awkward.......................maybe he won't go for ordination."

Then 2 years later, one of my last masses I went to I'm sitting there thinking bad thoughts while he was running the service. I would go every week after that and even to confession on Wednesdays just to see him. I realized I had a crush on a priest...That's when I stopped going.




IT WAS NOT FAIR. NOT. FUCKING. FAIR. NO MAN OF THAT SEXINESS SHOULD EVER BE A PRIEST, DAMNIT. AT LEAST IF HE WAS GAY BUT NOT A MAN OF THE CLOTH I COULD STILL HIT ON HIM!  

[Suu]

OH GOD DAMNIT I JUST LOOKED UP A PIC AND HE'S STILL HOT.


I NEED THAT APP IMMEDIATELY.

[Luna]

OH GOD DAMNIT I JUST LOOKED UP A PIC AND HE'S STILL HOT.


I NEED THAT APP IMMEDIATELY.

Well, you could always go back for a long, involved confession...

[Suu]

No way, he's all priest-like now. He's not a sultry 20 something teasing the teenage girls into going to mass. It's too late, he's too far gone...


You have no idea...NONE.

Ugh...Holy shit, all the articles on him are about his workout regimen. FUCK YOU, GOD!

[P3nT4gR4m]

No way, he's all priest-like now. He's not a sultry 20 something teasing the teenage girls into going to mass. It's too late, he's too far gone...


You have no idea...NONE.

Ugh...Holy shit, all the articles on him are about his workout regimen. FUCK YOU, GOD!

Protip: You want to fuck a priest? Dress up as a small boy