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Cramulus is a SPAG.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, February 11, 2011, 03:25:19 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

February 11, 2011, 03:25:19 PM
In fact, his spagginess is so pronounced that it shows up on radar, which is why he isn't allowed near the airport.  When he walks by small children, they contract Down's Syndrome.  Wherever he goes, birds fall out of the sky, killed en masse.  He is responsible for male pattern baldness, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and Scotland.  He made Wales Welsh, and is the one man that can be legitimately blamed for the condition Kansas is in.

Cramulus is illegal in all but 14 states, and rightfully so...And no judge in America will listen to his appeals concerning this unconstitutional but necessary bill of attainder.  He owns stock in every company that produces insulin, and plays poker with Fred Phelps when they think nobody is looking.

Cramulus is the fink that ratted out Heidi Fleiss.  Insects obey his commands.  The inside of his pance is a superfund site.  He wears dentures made from the bones of orphans, and the Jews have a new holiday, "Spag-Over" in which they thank God that they're not related to him.

Professor Cramulus is also responsible for the TV show Alf, the fact that Tom DeLay was allowed on Dancing With The Stars, and the fact that Whitney Houston was allowed to make more than one album.  He coaches Hillary Duff, and calls the Tea Party headquarters every morning at 3AM to give them more ideas before they pass out, as a joke.

Cram designed the LA freeway that way on purpose.  He spends his weekend beating up Buddhists, and dresses up like an altar boy so he can molest hapless Catholic priests. 

Who sank the Titanic?  Cramulous.

Who thought the CN Tower was a good idea?  Cramulus.

Who really killed Archduke Ferdinand?  Yep.

Cramulus is a menace, and an affront to all that is good and decent about American culture.  He must be stopped.  Won't you please help?  Just a dollar a month will help pay for the team of hit men, exorcists, and county officials that will be needed to nail him into his coffin.

Time to take a stand, America!

Or Kill Me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
February 11, 2011, 03:41:04 PM
Use this thread to tell the world how Cramulus ruined your life and damaged your pets/livestock.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Richter

#2
February 11, 2011, 03:44:17 PM
Cramulus set Iason up.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
February 11, 2011, 03:47:25 PM
Quote from: Richter on February 11, 2011, 03:44:17 PM
Cramulus set Iason up.

Cramulus introduced Justin Beiber to Ludicris.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Requia ☣

#4
February 11, 2011, 03:50:58 PM
Cramulus once cooked a poor family a gourmet thanksgiving dinner.

With the family dog as the centerpiece.
Inflatable dolls are not recognized flotation devices.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
February 11, 2011, 03:52:28 PM
Cramulus told Taylor Swift to go into show business, and told Richard Nixon to keep a record of everything.  He fires guinea pigs out of a PVC gun, into passing traffic.

Cramulus started 4Chan.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#6
February 11, 2011, 03:53:15 PM
Once a year, Cramulus dissapates his aura into the atmosphere, where it is picked up by the jetstream and carried across the globe.  The ensuing misery and carnage leaves an odor of rotting cabbage and spoiled cottage cheese, while lives are ruined, and futures are tossed in the scrapheap.  



We call this annual putrescent effluence "February".

AFK

#7
February 11, 2011, 03:56:33 PM
Cramulus does coke off the back of naked camels with Hosni Mubarak. 
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Cainad (dec.)

#8
February 11, 2011, 04:01:14 PM
Cramulus is responsible for at least three known STDs, and has an apartment in Dubai.

Cramulus invented insulin. We didn't need our pancreas before he came around and got us all addicted to the stuff by putting it in our breakfast cereal.

Cramulus blighted the orange crop in Florida, out of spite. He hatched Hitler from an egg in a laboratory in his mother's basement.

Cram snorts napthalene for fun.

Richter

#9
February 11, 2011, 04:03:12 PM
Cramulus once snuck a dick into Lady Gaga's trousers ands tarted all that hoo-haa
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

LMNO

#10
February 11, 2011, 04:07:03 PM
Every weekend, Cram drives down to Saratoga Springs and plays gigs with AKK.

Suu

#11
February 11, 2011, 04:10:19 PM
Cramulus created Communism.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Richter

#12
February 11, 2011, 04:11:53 PM
Cramulus talks trash worthy of XBox Live while playing ping-pong at teh elderly center to cover his community service hours.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

AFK

#13
February 11, 2011, 04:12:39 PM
Cramulus has been secretly inserting astronomy lessons written by Bill O'Reilly into grade school science text books.  Except for the textbooks for Texas for which he was commissioned by the Texas Board of Education to insert those lessons.  
Cynicism is a blank check for failure.

Sister Fracture

#14
February 11, 2011, 04:14:31 PM
I blame Cram for Tucson. No shit.
Roaring Berserkery Bunny of the North End™

A Tucsonite is like a Christian in several important ways.  For one thing, they believe what they say about their god in the most literal, straightfaced way possible.  For another, they both know their god can hear them.  The difference between the two, however, is quite vast in terms of their relationship with their god; Christians believe in His benevolence, but Tucsonites KNOW of The City's spite and hate.
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