OkCupid: A Guy's Perspective

[Luna]

Lechter is the new Beiber.

You are now imagining Tony Hopkins singing "Baby, Baby, Baby".

Fuck.  I am.  You're paying for my therapy.

[Richter]

Staying out of that shit.  

Can't blame you.  I've had more than one friend come on here and gloriously faceplant.  Some have recovered, some lacked the intestinal fortitude.

Yeah, Nomad was one other.  Met him via Cram duirng the first Meatup, then again LARPing and etc.  Loads of fun, but doesn't translate well into the local flavor of text.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Lechter is the new Beiber.

You are now imagining Tony Hopkins singing "Baby, Baby, Baby".

Fuck.  I am.  You're paying for my therapy.

I will not youtube this on a train
I will not youtube this in a plane
I will not youtube it anywhere
I do not like Beiber on any program
Go to hell, Sam I Am.

[Richter]

So I'm okay wearing the neighbor's flayed face?

Well, that's a relief.  It takes forever to make those things, and they tear every time you try to take them off.

Hardly needed, Roger, you're pretty enough without one.

I AM A BEAUTIFUL FAIRY PRINCESS, AND I CAN WEAR THE NEIGHBOR'S FACE IF I WANNA.

Never said you couldn't, said you didn't NEED to.

Me, I've seen my neighbors, I wouldn't wear their faces on a dare.

Placemats?

..and can I have teh skulls?  I've got a jewish buddy who deserves a totally METAL yamakurle.

[Luna]

So I'm okay wearing the neighbor's flayed face?

Well, that's a relief.  It takes forever to make those things, and they tear every time you try to take them off.

Hardly needed, Roger, you're pretty enough without one.

I AM A BEAUTIFUL FAIRY PRINCESS, AND I CAN WEAR THE NEIGHBOR'S FACE IF I WANNA.

Never said you couldn't, said you didn't NEED to.

Me, I've seen my neighbors, I wouldn't wear their faces on a dare.

Placemats?

..and can I have teh skulls?  I've got a jewish buddy who deserves a totally METAL yamakurle.

I'd have to look at placemats whenever I moved the plates.

Next time I murder a neighbor, you can haz all the bones.  Just surprise me with something awesome out of some of 'em.

[East Coast Hustle]

I take it that means that he's ugly as sin.

Doesn't really matter, though.  I look like someone shoved me through a mud fence, and I've never had any trouble.  If you go in railing about how women have all the wrong values, then you're essentially being the dating world's version of the Chicago Bears...Beaten - by yourself - before you even start.

True dat. I'm ugly as sin, but it's the right kind of ugly.

[Lies]

I take it that means that he's ugly as sin.

Doesn't really matter, though.  I look like someone shoved me through a mud fence, and I've never had any trouble.  If you go in railing about how women have all the wrong values, then you're essentially being the dating world's version of the Chicago Bears...Beaten - by yourself - before you even start.

True dat. I'm ugly as sin, but it's the right kind of ugly.

Like, Ron Jeremy right kind of ugly?

[Phox]

..and can I have teh skulls?  I've got a jewish buddy who deserves a totally METAL yamakurle.

Haha. Skullcap.

[Kai]

Heres an observation from my end:

At one point, I had quite a few straight guys messaging me on there. Now, I don't really fool around with straight guys because frankly they're just trying to get a secret safe gay fix and I'm not into that. That, however, wouldn't have stopped me if there was a nice well mannered attractive "straight" guy who messaged me and started talking with me. Of course, such a guy wouldn't actually be straight (probably), just so in his profile.

However, all the "straight" guys messaging me for for their safe gay fix got old really fast, so I put a note on my profile saying that I wasn't interested.

That's exactly the reason I'm into poly -- it's about keeping everything above board. It's also why I won't sign up for a site like ambermadison.com. Cheating and the closet and all that stuff is just baggage that's better off not factoring into a relationship.

I think being INTO "poly" is missing the point. Either people are wired that way, or aren't. Relationships aren't "poly". You just sound like a slut. Not that there's anything wrong with that, rather, you just seem to be saying you're morally above all those other people.

The conclusion I've come to is that people I would NOT like to fuck of any sex, gender or orientation are abundant regardless of where I look.

Well, yeah. You don't mention your gender anywhere (although I seem to remember talking to you about it a couple years ago when I was more active?), but I'm assuming you're male. Anyway, yeah, it's tougher to find people who "fit" when you're queer, and it only gets slimmer the more identity stakes you add to the equation. So I think at some point mainstream dating venues become useless. Me on OkC may be the online equivalent of a gay dude trying to score in a straight bar.

No, I don't mention it. If it makes you feel better assume away. But more importantly, it's your last statement that spells out the point. You are "trying to score". Have you considered that the majority of people out there just trying to score don't care anything about how sensitive and intelligent you are? In my experience, when people just want casual sex it's all about a few variables. If you're really just looking for casual sex, maybe you should change your methods and persona?

I recognize that and don't go messaging every "hottie" I see out of desperation, which is what it seems YOU do.

I think it's hilarious how many things people are assuming based on the things I haven't explicitly stated. On average, I message one user every one to two months.

I only worked under the word you used. Which, by the way, always ends up objectifying the subject. My bad if on the planet you're from things are different.

I knew you were just whining when you used the word "hottie", indicating just how shallow your intentions were. ALL THE HOTTIES WON'T TALK TO ME!!!

Don't gimme that crap. One of the advantages of online dating is that you can select for physical attractiveness first and foremost. I see that as a good thing. And I see nothing wrong with calling "someone" a "hottie" when that "someone" is, in fact, just an online profile. If they write back, THEN it's absolutely time for something a little less objectifying.

See above. No one is interested in being an object except the BDSM crowd. And the people who write those profiles are people, lest you forget that tautology.

Hey, I'd talk to you. Under the contract that you wouldn't act like a mysogynist. And quit whining.

Rad! But, uh, misogynist? I typically think of myself as pretty down for sex/gender equality.

Okay, I'll bite. If you're such a studly bi dude into gender equality, why the hell wasn't your op addressing men as well? Why just women?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Strategy doesn't work ------> change strategy----->try new strategy-----> repeat as necessary.

Strategy doesn't work ------> complain------> fuck your sock, because that's all you're getting.

[saturnine]

Okay, I'll bite. If you're such a studly bi dude into gender equality, why the hell wasn't your op addressing men as well? Why just women?

Because the dynamic I mentioned in the O.P. is all but nonexistent in male-male online dating.

I'm sick of playing whack-a-mole and addressing the thousand concerns and misrepresentations that have emerged in this thread. So I'm throwing the towel in on this one. Thanks for the help everyone. Goodnight.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Okay, I'll bite. If you're such a studly bi dude into gender equality, why the hell wasn't your op addressing men as well? Why just women?

Because the dynamic I mentioned in the O.P. is all but nonexistent in male-male online dating.

I'm sick of playing whack-a-mole and addressing the thousand concerns and misrepresentations that have emerged in this thread. So I'm throwing the towel in on this one. Thanks for the help everyone. Goodnight.

There is one thing I think you don't know about OKC.

[Sister Fracture]

Okay, I'll bite. If you're such a studly bi dude into gender equality, why the hell wasn't your op addressing men as well? Why just women?

Because the dynamic I mentioned in the O.P. is all but nonexistent in male-male online dating.

I'm sick of playing whack-a-mole and addressing the thousand concerns and misrepresentations that have emerged in this thread. So I'm throwing the towel in on this one. Thanks for the help everyone. Goodnight.

There is one thing I think you don't know about OKC.

Well, he probably won't be coming back, but I want to know.

[East Coast Hustle]

I take it that means that he's ugly as sin.

Doesn't really matter, though.  I look like someone shoved me through a mud fence, and I've never had any trouble.  If you go in railing about how women have all the wrong values, then you're essentially being the dating world's version of the Chicago Bears...Beaten - by yourself - before you even start.

True dat. I'm ugly as sin, but it's the right kind of ugly.

Like, Ron Jeremy right kind of ugly?

more like "well, he's obviously had an interesting life so far" kind of ugly.

[East Coast Hustle]

Okay, I'll bite. If you're such a studly bi dude into gender equality, why the hell wasn't your op addressing men as well? Why just women?

Because the dynamic I mentioned in the O.P. is all but nonexistent in male-male online dating.

I'm sick of playing whack-a-mole and addressing the thousand concerns and misrepresentations that have emerged in this thread. So I'm throwing the towel in on this one. Thanks for the help everyone. Goodnight.

There is one thing I think you don't know about OKC.

Well, he probably won't be coming back, but I want to know.

Dammit, Fracture, our abrasive awfulness has chased off another quality contributor.