UNLIMITED GOP 2012 PRIMARY CANDIDATE THREAD

[Luna]

Holy crap.

You can't make this shit up, can you?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43776462#43776462

[Kai]

Holy crap.

You can't make this shit up, can you?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43776462#43776462

That "therapist" makes me want to stab myself in the head.

[BabylonHoruv]

Holy crap.

You can't make this shit up, can you?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43776462#43776462

That "therapist" makes me want to stab myself in the head.

That little bit about God making men like titties seems like a good in to me.  God may make some men like titties, he makes other men like cock. (and some like both, on the same person)

[Jenne]

Holy crap.

You can't make this shit up, can you?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43776462#43776462

That "therapist" makes me want to stab myself in the head.

That little bit about God making men like titties seems like a good in to me.  God may make some men like titties, he makes other men like cock. (and some like both, on the same person)

...but what about the ASS...seems to me ALL men like THE ASS...Essplain THAT...

[Juana]

Michelle Bachmann Signs Pledge that Says Black Children Better Off During Slavery

In Iowa, there's a social conservative pledge called "The Marriage Vow – A Declaration of Dependence upon Marriage and Family" that is anti-abortion, anti-same sex marriage, anti-divorce etc etc that GOP candidates are being urged to sign. It's got some pretty rigid-sounding stuff, but there's also this extra-special piece:

   

Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA's first African-American President.

Given that families were broken up regularly for sales during slavery and that rape by masters was pretty common, this could not be more offensive. I mean, putting aside the statistics on this, which are likely off-base, I could not be more angry. When will Republicans inquire with actual Black people whether or not we're ok with invoking slavery to score cheap political points? It has to stop. It is the opposite of persuasive  and is another reason Republicans repel us. It's hard to believe that Michele Bachmann would be foolish enough to sigh this pledge.

But proving Bachmann may be crazier and more hardcore than Sarah Palin, she has.

What do you think? Will this torpedo her primary bid or propel her forward with the GOP base?

I don't quite know what to say other than a huge, huge WTF IS THIS

[Jenne]

Yyyyyeah...that's one of the many MANY pieces of publically humiliating shit that Bachmann will have to live down (meaning: will spin and ignore the more obvious aspects of it), but will damn her in the reality of becoming a REALLY REAL FOR REALS contendah...

[Luna]

Jesus fuck.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43789153/ns/politics-decision_2012/

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain said Sunday that communities have a right to ban Islamic mosques.

Appearing on "Fox News Sunday," the former Godfather's Pizza CEO said protests and legal challenges to a planned mosque in Tennessee city are an example of local residents pushing back.

Cain said his view doesn't amount to religious discrimination because he says Muslims are trying to inject Shariah law into the U.S.

[BabylonHoruv]

Jesus fuck.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43789153/ns/politics-decision_2012/

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain said Sunday that communities have a right to ban Islamic mosques.

Appearing on "Fox News Sunday," the former Godfather's Pizza CEO said protests and legal challenges to a planned mosque in Tennessee city are an example of local residents pushing back.

Cain said his view doesn't amount to religious discrimination because he says Muslims are trying to inject Shariah law into the U.S.

Another great arguement.  Christian churches need to be protested as Christians are trying to inject Biblical law into the United States (and have been way more successful than any Sharia advocate could dream of in this country)

[Bruno]

Thanks to Messiah Law, I can't buy beer before noon on Sundays.

Fortunately, I rarely get up before noon.

[Juana]

Rick Perry's Killing of an Innocent Man Is Somehow a Political Asset

Probable presidential candidate Rick Perry, like other Texas governors, has a history of executing tons of people. The most famous case is that of Cameron Todd Willingham, who was executed under Perry for burning down his home with his three children inside, even though there's significant evidence that he didn't do it. How will Perry ever get past this in a presidential primary? Trick question! He doesn't have to "get past" anything, because Republican primary voters like him for doing this.

A new Politico report about Perry's chances for winning the nomination includes this incredible anecdote about how hard it is to turn the Willingham case into anything even approaching a political liability for Perry, in the hilariously insane world of GOP primaries:

Veterans of Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison's unsuccessful 2010 primary challenge to Perry recalled being stunned at the way attacks bounced off the governor in a strongly conservative state gripped by tea party fever. Multiple former Hutchison advisers recalled asking a focus group about the charge that Perry may have presided over the execution of an innocent man – Cameron Todd Willingham – and got this response from a primary voter: "It takes balls to execute an innocent man."

We're glad that Team KBH shared this, because it shines light on one of the strangest political statements ever released. The Willingham came into the public spotlight a couple of years ago after a phenomenal New Yorker piece made a convincing, detailed argument for Willingham's innocence. Perry fielded some controversy, too, for firing several members of the Texas Forensic Science Commission who'd backed the report finding the arson claims against Willingham to be "doubtful."

But instead of simply tearing Perry to pieces for being a amoral killing monster from Hell, Sen. Hutchison attacked Perry from the right — saying that the main problem with Perry's actions was in "giving liberals an argument to discredit the death penalty," which she still staunchly supported. This was her objection to Rick Perry killing an innocent man and then covering up the investigation! That it would give liberals an excuse to whine about the death penalty! Stupid liberals! Now, at least, we know about the surreal ultraviolent political box that led her to sign off on such tripe. Don't expect this dynamic to change.

[Epimetheus]

 

[Jenne]

...well, any reason that WORKS, I guess...

/cynic

[Cain]

Murder Accessory is now officially a candidate, also.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Holy crap.

You can't make this shit up, can you?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43776462#43776462

Mithter Bachmann hath a little lithp. 

[Doktor Howl]

Holy crap.

You can't make this shit up, can you?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43776462#43776462

Mithter Bachmann hath a little lithp. 

HE'TH FUCKING FAAABULUTH.