UNLIMITED GOP 2012 PRIMARY CANDIDATE THREAD

[Cain]

Also, urgh.  Piers Morgan and Santorum in a room, together.

I don't know what you guys see in Piers Morgan.  Apart from a British accent, of course.

[Luna]

Here's the full quote, in context

Last Friday, CNN's Piers Morgan asked Santorum to clarify his reasoning behind such a callous position. Insisting that "it's not a matter of religious values," Santorum explained that sexual assault victims should "accept this horribly created" pregnancy because it is "nevertheless a gift in a very broken way" and that, when it comes down to it, a victim just has "to make the best out of a bad situation":

SANTORUM: Well, you can make the argument that if she doesn't have this baby, if she kills her child, that that, too, could ruin her life. And this is not an easy choice. I understand that. As horrible as the way that that son or daughter and son was created, it still is her child. And whether she has that child or doesn't, it will always be her child. And she will always know that. And so to embrace her and to love her and to support her and get her through this very difficult time, I've always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you. As you know, we have to, in lots of different aspects of our life. We have horrible things happen. I can't think of anything more horrible. But, nevertheless, we have to make the best out of a bad situation.

Fucking hell.  We need to bring back tarring and feathering.

[LMNO]

Also, urgh.  Piers Morgan and Santorum in a room, together.

I don't know what you guys see in Piers Morgan.  Apart from a British accent, of course.

And on top of all that, he's an Arsenal fan.

[East Coast Hustle]

I didn't realize there still were any of those.

But hey, I guess some people dig Europa League soccer.

[Cain]

I refuse to believe Piers Morgan has ever attended a football game in his life.  And if he did, he spent the whole 90 minutes sneering.

(fun project for those with the time: look up clips of Piers Morgan on Have I Got News For You, when he threatens to send photographers around to Iain Hislop's house for mocking Piers' precious ego).

[LMNO]

Heh.  In last Sunday's Manchester United/Arsenal match, Fox Sports has Piers on as a commentator, and he was all "go Arsenal", and he got really pissed off at how badly they played.

[Scribbly]

I was really annoyed recently about how easily the UK government has been rolling over in deporting british citizens to america on dubious grounds.

Then I found out we seem to have exported Piers Morgan.

Seems like a fair trade.

[BadBeast]

Piers Morgan at the Football has as much credibility as tits on a kipper. So naturally, he picked a Team to reflect this. The Gunnars, as they call themselves, or "The Arse" as everyone else calls them, are even managed by a bloke called "Arse" so it's no surprise to see an arsehole like Morgan claiming association, is it?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Tits on a kipper. I like that expression.

[Placid Dingo]

I dont recall this but I seem to have signed up for the Newt Gringrich email. So here's his spin.

Carolina Primary.

We did what the establishment said could not be done and we put our campaign on a path to winning the Republican nomination. We won because people are sick of and tired of the national establishment telling them what they are allowed to think and believe, and you saw that Saturday night.

I believe that we will defeat Barack Obama in the general election, and put America back on track toward strength and prosperity. But we need your help to get there. Will you join us?

Today, our campaign turns to the crucial primary state of Florida. The race is between a clear establishment moderate in Mitt Romney and a clear Reagan conservative with a record going all the way back to the 1970s. It's a stark contrast. Make no mistake, this is a battle between the conservative grassroots and the moderate establishment for the heart and soul of the Republican Party.

Conservatives are ready for somebody who will go to Washington and speak for them, not somebody who speaks on behalf of the establishment. The establishment is right to be worried about a Gingrich nomination because a Gingrich nomination means that we're going to change things, we're going to make them very uncomfortable and we're going to demand real change in Washington.

Going forward, there is only one important question for conservatives to ask themselves: Who is the best candidate to defeat Barack Obama? I believe that a second term for Barack Obama will be a disaster for this country and I am committed to beating him. I think I've proven I could take him on in a series of debates and undo his billion-dollar campaign. It's very important that we have a candidate who's strong enough, and tough enough to be able to take on President Obama in a series of debates.

There is no longer any doubt that we can win the GOP nomination. The other candidates are good men whom I deeply respect, but it is time for conservatives to come together and unite behind one authentic, Reagan conservative who can win.

As I write this, Barack Obama and the Democrats are raising thousands of dollars per hour, waiting for a Republican nominee to emerge. He's a radical, secular socialist who wants to reinvent America in the image of the faded, decrepit Republics of Western Europe.

If I become the nominee, I will hold President Obama accountable. I will defeat him in the debates and show the American people that there is a better, more conservative direction.

This is not just a Presidential campaign. It's a battle for the future of this country. That's why I will immediately challenge President Obama to a series of three hour Lincoln-Douglas style debates, and make him defend the passage of ObamaCare, 15 trillion dollars in debt, and out of control unemployment. I'll even let him use his teleprompter!

But I can't do that without your help.

Florida is only one week away, and the Romney campaign is already going back to their old ways of negative attack ads to try and tear us down. We can't let that happen again. We must raise the necessary resources in the next 48 hours to fund our television campaign for Florida so that I can tell the truth to the American people.

Will you donate now and help us fight back?

To paraphrase President Reagan, "A recession is when your neighbor loses his job, a depression is when you lose your job, and a recovery will be when Obama loses his job."

Your contribution and support will put us over the top in Florida and our nation one step closer putting a conservative in the White House.

Lets be bold.

For America,

Speaker Newt Gingrich

[Cain]

lolz, Euro-bashing.

[Scribbly]

I like the implication that only Obama is going to have huge sums of money behind him.

We all know about those poor, impoverished Republicans, right?

[Cain]

Obama is a Big Money Socialist backed by the Homosexual Islamofascist Menace (yes, I have seen both of these points seriously argued.  By actual people, with brains and everything).

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Obama is a Big Money Socialist backed by the Homosexual Islamofascist Menace (yes, I have seen both of these points seriously argued.  By actual people, with brains and everything).

... big money socialist.

That makes my head hurt.

So does homosexual Islamofascist....

[Cain]

Well, Obama is backed by Soros, who is a progressive, which is as we know is a code-word for "Stalinist"...

And, apparently, according to my top sources on insane conservative blogs, the Muslim Brotherhood are really into buttsex.  Like, really into it.  As we all know, Allah is cool with the chocolate pipeline surfing, so this makes perfect sense