UNLIMITED GOP 2012 PRIMARY CANDIDATE THREAD

[Internet Jesus]

But I do think a fundamental rule of life is that you can't play the "this is fucked up" card when the team you're supporting is doing even more fucked up things.

Not to be a snarky douchnozzle, but that's been a staple in American politics at least since the first rumors of Sally Hemmings.

Ok, it was to totally be a snarky douchnozzle.  But at least there's a point in there, somewhere.  Oh yeah, no fair makin rules that totally negate one of the central aspects of a thing.

[Cain]

I'm all about negating the central point of things.  Especially if its going to fuck up people's cheerleading attempts.

[Internet Jesus]

If that's your goal then, Mozel Tov.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

At I said before, I'm not sure that putting your dog in a large crate secured to the roof of a car is any worse than putting your dog in a pickup truck, or in a crate in a pickup truck, or in a car, period. It would be cruel if it were below 40 degrees or if the dog was exposed to high wind, but it wasn't.

It might depend on the dog. From what I've read, the dog was crapping in terror and Mitt just pulled into a gas station, hosed the car off and went on. I think a person who gave a shit about the dog would have let it ride in the car at that point.

[Prince Glittersnatch III]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5CL_FbRNDU&feature=g-all-u

Ben Swann gives a slightly belated breakdown of the "47%" comment.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

At I said before, I'm not sure that putting your dog in a large crate secured to the roof of a car is any worse than putting your dog in a pickup truck, or in a crate in a pickup truck, or in a car, period. It would be cruel if it were below 40 degrees or if the dog was exposed to high wind, but it wasn't.

It might depend on the dog. From what I've read, the dog was crapping in terror and Mitt just pulled into a gas station, hosed the car off and went on. I think a person who gave a shit about the dog would have let it ride in the car at that point.

That version sounds super-spun, speaking as a spin doctor.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

At I said before, I'm not sure that putting your dog in a large crate secured to the roof of a car is any worse than putting your dog in a pickup truck, or in a crate in a pickup truck, or in a car, period. It would be cruel if it were below 40 degrees or if the dog was exposed to high wind, but it wasn't.

It might depend on the dog. From what I've read, the dog was crapping in terror and Mitt just pulled into a gas station, hosed the car off and went on. I think a person who gave a shit about the dog would have let it ride in the car at that point.

That version sounds super-spun, speaking as a spin doctor.

Could be, very easily.

Romney's still a douche, though. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

At I said before, I'm not sure that putting your dog in a large crate secured to the roof of a car is any worse than putting your dog in a pickup truck, or in a crate in a pickup truck, or in a car, period. It would be cruel if it were below 40 degrees or if the dog was exposed to high wind, but it wasn't.

It might depend on the dog. From what I've read, the dog was crapping in terror and Mitt just pulled into a gas station, hosed the car off and went on. I think a person who gave a shit about the dog would have let it ride in the car at that point.

That version sounds super-spun, speaking as a spin doctor.

Could be, very easily.

Romney's still a douche, though. 

No argument there, whatsoever!

[Juana]

Mittens finally released more tax information

Looking to blunt relentless Democratic attacks, Mitt Romney on Friday released his 2011 tax return, a summary of his effective tax rates for the past two decades and, for good measure, two doctors' notes attesting to the good physical health of the candidate and his running mate, Paul Ryan.

The tax return was released at 3 p.m. Eastern time on the website www.mittromney.com/disclosure. Ahead of the release, the former Massachusetts governor's campaign released a blog post summarizing the document.

Releasing information on a Friday afternoon is traditionally a way to reduce the amount of media exposure.

The move fulfills a promise Romney made earlier in the 2012 presidential campaign. But it was unlikely to quiet Democratic criticisms that Romney has failed to live up to a standard set by his father, former Michigan Governor George Romney, who released 12 years of tax returns when he ran for president in 1968.

The Romneys paid $1,935,708 in taxes on $13,696,951 of mostly investment income for an effective tax rate of 14.1 percent. (The Obamas paid an effective tax rate of 20.5 percent in 2011, a lower rate than the president's secretary, according to the White House.) 

Romney, who is thought to have a personal fortune in the neighborhood of $250 million, gave $4,020,772 to charity, 30 percent of their income. (The Obamas gave 21.8 percent of their income to charities).

The blog post, written by the manager of Romney's blind trust since 2003, R. Bradford Malt, said the Romneys had filed their 2011 tax return with the IRS Friday morning. It also indicated that the Romneys' tax preparer, PricewaterhouseCoopers, would provide a letter summarizing the tax rates that the Romneys paid from 1990 to 2009.

The Romneys paid an average annual effective federal tax rate of 20.2 percent, with the lowest rate coming in at 13.66 percent. Over that same stretch of time, they gave an average of 13.45 percent of their adjusted gross income to charity.

And Romney paid a far lower rate than the 35 percent levied on the largest salaries because most of his income came from investments, which are taxed at far lower rates.

"During the 20-year period covered by the PWC letter, Gov. and Mrs. Romney paid 100 percent of the taxes that they owed," the blog post read.

Democrats led by the Obama campaign have repeatedly hit Romney over his refusal to disclose his tax returns—a fight that has helped to keep Romney's vast wealth in the media spotlight at a time when the president is trying to paint him as an out-of-touch millionaire bent on helping the wealthy.

Romney paid a price—literally—for saying that he paid at least 13 percent in federal income taxes over the past decade. He and his wife did not take the full deductions to which they were entitled for their charitable giving.

"The Romneys' generous charitable donations in 2011 would have significantly reduced their tax obligation for the year," Malt wrote. "The Romneys thus limited their deduction of charitable contributions to conform to the Governor's statement in August, based upon the January estimate of income, that he paid at least 13% in income taxes in each of the last 10 years."

[Internet Jesus]

Flop sweat.  That's what this is.  It's the same thing a comedian will do when she's bombing onstage.

I FUCKING LOVE THIS ELECTION.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

SEE!!?? He DID pay his taxes! Take that, Harry Reid!

[Juana]

Romney Lawyer Admits They Manipulated Taxes to Conform to 13% Claim

Mitt Romney's lawyer admitted to the Democratic accusation that the Romneys could have paid a lot less in taxes in 2011, but they manipulated the returns so as to conform to an August Romney claim that he always paid at least 13%.

The AP reported:

But, Brad Malt acknowledged, the couple "limited their deductions of charitable contributions to conform to the governor's statement in August, based on the January estimate of income, that he paid at least 13 percent in income taxes in each of the last 10 years."

If you were wondering why Romney dumped his tax returns on Friday a week before they were due, we're told it's because he didn't want the issue to muddy the debate waters. However, he has done nothing but hand Democrats a justification for their tax the rich a bit more policies. Mitt Romney's taxes are becoming the poster child example of all that is wrong with our current tax codes.

One reason Romney pays so little is that most of his income comes from capital gains, rather than "income" and is thus taxed at a much lower rate. He also takes advantage of tax shelters and loopholes that have been the target of the Obama administration. The fact that Romney pays so little seems at odds with his disdain for the "47 percent" of Americans he claims don't pay any taxes, and further at odds with his expression that he feels more Americans would like to pay taxes. After all, Mitt Romney clearly doesn't like paying taxes.

Tax experts point out that Romney's returns are missing a few details:

What's missing, tax experts say, are the details of Romney's retirement account from Bain Capital, including investments in offshore accounts in Bermuda and the Cayman Islands.

Another factor thrown into the mix is the fact that Romney's 20 year average of his taxes is a "simple one (i.e., the average of the percentage in each year) rather than a weighted one (i.e., where you add up all the tax paid across the 20 years and divide it by all the income)."

It's a potentially important difference because the simple average treats each year equally — whether Romney earned, say, $5 million in that year or $30 million. It is especially important if Romney paid a low tax rate in a year in which he earned a lot but paid a high tax rate in years when he earned less. The weighted average would give a more accurate picture.

Romney told us that paying more than he owed would disqualify him from the presidency, but he has now paid more than he owed in order to make his earlier statement about never paying below 13% appear to be true. Not to worry, though, Mitt Romney can merely amend his return after the election in order to get that money back from the government, like any 47%-er would want to do.

Harry Reid points out in a statement from his office, "That raises the question: what else in those returns has Romney manipulated?"

As our former President warned us, "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

Thanks, W. We'll try to keep that in mind.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

You are Mitt Romney. You pull a hamburger out of your vagina and write it in for president. Michelle Malkin sucks pink slime from your anus and spews it at your Republican critics. An impoverished girl falls down the stairs across the street. You lob a spray tan grenade at her head. Beings at Kolob send their approval in the form of quantum underpants. A hidden videotape rolls as you pull a hamburger out of your vagina and eat it for president.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You are Mitt Romney. You pull a hamburger out of your vagina and write it in for president. Michelle Malkin sucks pink slime from your anus and spews it at your Republican critics. An impoverished girl falls down the stairs across the street. You lob a spray tan grenade at her head. Beings at Kolob send their approval in the form of quantum underpants. A hidden videotape rolls as you pull a hamburger out of your vagina and eat it for president.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

You are Mitt Romney. You pull a hamburger out of your vagina and write it in for president. Michelle Malkin sucks pink slime from your anus and spews it at your Republican critics. An impoverished girl falls down the stairs across the street. You lob a spray tan grenade at her head. Beings at Kolob send their approval in the form of quantum underpants. A hidden videotape rolls as you pull a hamburger out of your vagina and eat it for president.

That was based on a dream I had last night. I was Mitt Romney but I had a vagina that, uh, lets just say I couldn't stop tasting because it was delicious.

I think I may have spent a little too much time trolling Republicans.