ATTN TUCSON AND PROVIDENCE SPAGS:

[East Coast Hustle]

apparently, your cities are now "underrated" (which, of course, means overrated). Get ready for the inevitable influx of (more) aging hipsters and (even more) retired boomers.

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-38446701

[Doktor Howl]

Good.  The price of meat was going up.  This should fix that.

[Suu]

A renewed waterfront, vibrant arts scene, and sophisticated dining have turned this small college town into New England's most exciting city. Edgy galleries like New Urban Arts and AS220 host parties as well as exhibitions, while the RISD Museum shows French Impressionists, 20th-century masters, and rising young artists (including alums). The once-derelict West End neighborhood is now the city's epicenter of cool, with friendly dive bars, vintage stores, terrific eateries, and indie record stores. Swill cocktails at The Avery before moving on to the E&O Tap, a local institution.

WHAT THE FUCK YAHOO?! DON'T TELL THESE FUCKERS ABOUT THE E&O! OH GODDAMNIT. FUCK YOU, WEST END MY ASS...PEOPLE GET RAEP'D THERE.

Luna lives in the West End, technically. HIPSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Suu]

Also, I have no idea wtf and where the hell "The Avery" is. Nor do I care.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

A renewed waterfront, vibrant arts scene, and sophisticated dining have turned this small college town into New England's most exciting city. Edgy galleries like New Urban Arts and AS220 host parties as well as exhibitions, while the RISD Museum shows French Impressionists, 20th-century masters, and rising young artists (including alums). The once-derelict West End neighborhood is now the city's epicenter of cool, with friendly dive bars, vintage stores, terrific eateries, and indie record stores. Swill cocktails at The Avery before moving on to the E&O Tap, a local institution.

WHAT THE FUCK YAHOO?! DON'T TELL THESE FUCKERS ABOUT THE E&O! OH GODDAMNIT. FUCK YOU, WEST END MY ASS...PEOPLE GET RAEP'D THERE.

Luna lives in the West End, technically. HIPSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so the west end is where hipsters get raeped in the rear end??

[Richter]

"Friendly dive bars"....


These people obviously took their oppinions of Providence while heavily influenced by Prozac and Aderall purchased 2nd had from college students.  I hope that they take this sort of drug addled positive attitude out of my fucking state, it has no palce here.  Providence is gold plaque on a rotting apple.  There's a piece that's all shined up and proud planted smack in the middle of urban neglect and economic decay that makes Worcester look cosmopolitan.  The high holy fuckers then stand in a circle on this golden placcard, and while sipping wine and keeping personal distance that demonstrates their loathing for self and others, congratulate and harp on how nice it is, and how much like Boston it is.  They remain blissfully, and purposefully ignorant to the fact that there are too amny of them, and they're slowly sinking their ivory tower back into the morass.

These are the sort of people, who when cast into the depths of Olneyville, thrown to the hipsters of the west end, or sent for the pleasure of the proper filth in the south, will be eyed with the same feral hunger normally reserved for a Big Mac in the hands of a crazed diabetic.  Lusted upon before they are torn assunder.  Providence will accept its own, but will eat the rest, and this article is another angler fish ploy for food. 

[Suu]

A renewed waterfront, vibrant arts scene, and sophisticated dining have turned this small college town into New England's most exciting city. Edgy galleries like New Urban Arts and AS220 host parties as well as exhibitions, while the RISD Museum shows French Impressionists, 20th-century masters, and rising young artists (including alums). The once-derelict West End neighborhood is now the city's epicenter of cool, with friendly dive bars, vintage stores, terrific eateries, and indie record stores. Swill cocktails at The Avery before moving on to the E&O Tap, a local institution.

WHAT THE FUCK YAHOO?! DON'T TELL THESE FUCKERS ABOUT THE E&O! OH GODDAMNIT. FUCK YOU, WEST END MY ASS...PEOPLE GET RAEP'D THERE.

Luna lives in the West End, technically. HIPSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so the west end is where hipsters get raeped in the rear end??

"Gentrification"

Hipsters have been moving into the really rough areas of Providence in attempts to be "edgy".

First of all. I lived in Elmwood because I had no choice. That's where the cheapest place I could find at the time was. Before I moved last month, I had seen several hipsters that had infected my goddamn ghettofab neighborhood with their tight jeans and irony.

Second of all. There is no gentrifying Olneyville. I really hope they try.

Third of all. There are no friendly dive bars in Providence if you're a hipster. You're either a local, an angry waitress, or a stripper to drink at those places. Anyone else walks in, and they're usually skeeved off pretty quickly.

[LMNO]

Hipsters have been moving into the really rough areas of Providence because they don't want to get a job and that's all they can afford.

I know this because that's why I started living in JP 10 years ago.  Now I own property there.  I'm so edgy...

[Luna]

Meh, my place isn't so bad...  I've had no trouble walking home at o-fuck-thirty in the morning... but that might be due in some part to the borrowed brass "don't-fuck-with-me" that I carry in my pocket...

[Suu]

The brass only works if you actually show people that you have it, and still, that could be considered a threat as well.

This is why I wear earbuds, you know. Instant garrotte.

[Luna]

The brass only works if you actually show people that you have it, and still, that could be considered a threat as well.

This is why I wear earbuds, you know. Instant garrotte.

Nah...  It's a confidence thing.  I know I have it, I feel better prepared to deal with any fuckwit who wants to start shit, so I move less like prey and more like predator.

[Richter]

The brass only works if you actually show people that you have it, and still, that could be considered a threat as well.

This is why I wear earbuds, you know. Instant garrotte.

In both cases, earbuds or kubotan, you're now behaving as if you are armed (even if you're not), becasue you're convinced you have a viable weapon on hand. 

Also, advice form dad, never brandish.  If you have to take it out, you better be applying it fast, hard and dirty.  Then GTFO. 

[Luna]

If I ever DO have to use it, guy won't know I have it until he's wondering what hit him, preferably when the EMTs are asking him that question in the back of the ambulance.

Today, however, I don't think it'd matter WHAT I am carrying, I'm moving like the walking wounded.  I hit the floor last night a bit harder than I thought, feels like half my butt is bruised.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

SEND MORE HIPSTERS!

CENTRAL FILTH IS STILL HUNGRY!

[Luna]

SEND MORE HIPSTERS!

CENTRAL FILTH IS STILL HUNGRY!

Bring a net, you may feel free to come hunt them down in the West End.  Take 'em alive and ship 'em back to your place so they're fresh when you want 'em.