ATTN TUCSON AND PROVIDENCE SPAGS:

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

The simplest solution is to just kill them and be done with it.  Leave the body on Snooki's front porch.

[Luna]

The simplest solution is to just kill them and be done with it.  Leave the body on Snooki's front porch.

That is a solution I've considered for other problems, but I only have one hole the cops won't look in again, I must use it wisely.

[Suu]

I think that, if you did do something horribly violent to someone and got caught, then the prosecuter might use your skill in TKD to show increased intent to cause physical harm, or some shit like that.

If you're deemed to have used "reasonable force" to disarm an attacker then you're golden. "Reasonable force" varies. Breaking arms and legs is borderline. The kind of thing you'll need a bloody good excuse to explain away... unless, of course, it was accidental 

"Could explain to the court how Mr. Douche O'Saurus ended up with multiple fractures of the hands and wrists?"

"I broke them your honor"

"Could you please explain why you felt that necessary?"

"Mr. O'Saurus would not stop punching at me and was making it difficult to leave the area, he was also drunk, belligerent, and out weighs me by approximately 100 pounds"

In theory, that would work.

With my luck, he'll have a better attorney, even though mine is pretty damn good.

[Freeky]

Hipsters! Yay! They're so much fun to play with, I hope they come in droves.  I can't walk to the cliff on the opposite side of the golf course yet.  Not enough bodies.