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so here's the thing

Started by tyrannosaurus vex, March 17, 2011, 06:37:17 AM

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tyrannosaurus vex

March 17, 2011, 06:37:17 AM
i have wasted a lot of time trying to think of the perfect metaphor for discordianism, and i have always come up empty.

until now!

we always hear how life is a highway. okay, so let's see how that applies to discordianism. if life is a highway, then destinations by the side of the road are the places you go in life. if you're travelling down the highway you have off-ramps and on-ramps, and a whole network of roads to take. in life you have all kinds of choices that branch out like that, too. and in both, it's kind of a pain in the ass to turn around and go back, and it takes too long anyway.

if you are cruising one day you might see a great big kick-ass amusement park 100 feet from the side of the road, but guess what? you didn't take the right off-ramp and you're screwed and all you can do is stare at it as you fly past. now, if you had known ahead of time that's where you wanted to go, that's great. but what if you had no idea? what if, by a stroke of dumb luck, you were one of the unfortunate bastards who didn't receive a How to Drive This Thing manual the day you were born, and have been winging it since day one?

there are religions out there that equate to a set of directions; they tell you what choices to make, and hopefully you end up with the desired results. that's assuming you read the directions and don't just get on a bus driven by some asshole with an affinity for little boys or something. but even then, there's no guarantee you'll get the right directions, or that you'll read them the right way, or that once you get to the destination you don't think it's the most boring place on the planet. what then?

then... discordia!

discordianism isn't a religion like the rest. it isn't a set of directions. it's the art of pulling over to the side of the road, getting out of the car, and hopping the god damn fence.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#1
March 17, 2011, 03:45:09 PM
:mittens:

This is a good metaphor!
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Freeky

#2
March 17, 2011, 03:48:03 PM

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
March 17, 2011, 05:29:40 PM
Very nice.

But to complete the metaphor, you hop the fence and there's 6 assholes on the other side, who hit you over the head, steal your clothing, and leave you violated.

...But from where you're lying, you can at least smell the cotton candy, which is more than most religions can say.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#4
March 17, 2011, 06:59:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 17, 2011, 05:29:40 PM
Very nice.

But to complete the metaphor, you hop the fence and there's 6 assholes on the other side, who hit you over the head, steal your clothing, and leave you violated.

...But from where you're lying, you can at least smell the cotton candy, which is more than most religions can say.

Aaaannddd... once you get up you realize that you get to knock the next fence hopping schmuck over the head...
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Don Coyote

#5
March 17, 2011, 07:01:19 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on March 17, 2011, 06:59:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 17, 2011, 05:29:40 PM
Very nice.

But to complete the metaphor, you hop the fence and there's 6 assholes on the other side, who hit you over the head, steal your clothing, and leave you violated.

...But from where you're lying, you can at least smell the cotton candy, which is more than most religions can say.

Aaaannddd... once you get up you realize that you get to knock the next fence hopping schmuck over the head...

....and then you forget about the cotton candy and only think about the bludgeoning of fence hoppers?

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#6
March 17, 2011, 07:02:46 PM
Quote from: Donald "Something-Wolf-Something" Coyote on March 17, 2011, 07:01:19 PM
Quote from: Ratatosk on March 17, 2011, 06:59:55 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 17, 2011, 05:29:40 PM
Very nice.

But to complete the metaphor, you hop the fence and there's 6 assholes on the other side, who hit you over the head, steal your clothing, and leave you violated.

...But from where you're lying, you can at least smell the cotton candy, which is more than most religions can say.

Aaaannddd... once you get up you realize that you get to knock the next fence hopping schmuck over the head...

....and then you forget about the cotton candy and only think about the bludgeoning of fence hoppers?

hell no! The cotton candy is for snacks in-between the bludgeoning ;-)
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

LMNO

#7
March 17, 2011, 07:05:10 PM
We need a metaphor to describe the Discordian tendency to forget about the point of a metaphor in favor of stretching it into idiocy.

Don Coyote

#8
March 17, 2011, 07:06:42 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 17, 2011, 07:05:10 PM
We need a metaphor to describe the Discordian tendency to forget about the point of a metaphor in favor of stretching it into idiocy.
We do, but that would end up being stretched to idiocy.




I do like vex's metaphor.







Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#9
March 17, 2011, 07:10:11 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 17, 2011, 07:05:10 PM
We need a metaphor to describe the Discordian tendency to forget about the point of a metaphor in favor of stretching it into idiocy.

:lulz:

Meh, the metaphor is great as it is :)
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
March 17, 2011, 07:45:25 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 17, 2011, 07:05:10 PM
We need a metaphor to describe the Discordian tendency to forget about the point of a metaphor in favor of stretching it into idiocy.

"The Roger Effect"?   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#11
March 17, 2011, 07:46:34 PM
I was considering "Rat Syndrome" as he was one of the first to mangle the BIP bit...

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
March 17, 2011, 07:50:08 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 17, 2011, 07:46:34 PM
I was considering "Rat Syndrome" as he was one of the first to mangle the BIP bit...

Come to think of it, it's everyone here but you and Cain.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#13
March 17, 2011, 07:51:00 PM
I'm an outlier?



:omg:

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
March 17, 2011, 07:51:41 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD on March 17, 2011, 07:51:00 PM
I'm an outlier?



:omg:

An anomaly, actually.  You will be hunted down by the white blood cells and ripped to tiny pieces.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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