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Song of The City, part 3

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, March 18, 2011, 07:10:08 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

March 18, 2011, 07:10:08 PM
Okay, I have 400 man hours/week available, and 510 man hours/week of work to do.  I am told that overtime isn't a problem, but that I can't staff up.  Never mind that my workforce is mostly in their early 60s, and that it's already 90F+ out there.  Never mind that we're already stressed out to hell and gone.

I just noticed that everyone in my department and in the management team is using some form of pills.  Hell, I'm downing them like Pez, which is a possible explanation for the fact that my desk appears to be haunted (It's one of those 1950s/60s government issue green iron monstrosities, and when I beat on it with a hammer to get it to shut up, I bugger up the face of the hammer.).

I'd worry about this a bit more if it was the most erratic behavior being demonstrated.

I wouldn't have it any other way, come to think of it.  This job - hell, this City - has a way about it.  Don't try to understand it, it's just a seriously demented and possibly unhealthy groove that I enjoy more than any reasonable person should...Even when my predecessors start mumbling advice from my right hand bottom drawer, where there are still fossilized residue from their whiskey flasks.  They had booze, I have pills, and if they think I'm listening to their suggestions, they have another thing coming.  Fuckers.

Interesting note:  All seven of my predecessors died within 2 years of retirement, from alcohol-related health issues.

But fuck all that.  Given enough coffee and chemical support, there is nothing this department can't accomplish.  These guys are fucking amazing technicians, even if they DO talk to themselves and occasionally fall asleep under the equipment.

This is how shit gets done.  This is how the machines that keep civilization running are managed, at least here in The City.  It's better to burn out than fade away, and we aim to prove that. 

So just consider that for a moment.  Given less people in the trades, and less willingness of companies to staff up, the simple fact of the matter is that the people who keep your city running are probably in the same condition we're in.  Pilled up, overtired, and in a constant state of caffeine-induced mania.

Sleep tight.

Or Kill Me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Juana

#1
March 18, 2011, 07:14:46 PM
:x :mittens: :x :x
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Phox

#2
March 18, 2011, 07:22:48 PM
Holy fuck, Rog, you just keep piling on the horror with these.  :mittens:

Richter

#3
March 18, 2011, 07:37:38 PM
Frighteningly simialr to the cube world.

In cubeland, the concerns, the ideas, and the meds flow just as freely.  I get in some mornings and rev my brain up on coffee to the near psychotic point, and promply conduct my job.  When conducted right and well, people should hate me.  Well, the ones who are people should hate me, but any adjusted biped will recognize my professionalism and focus.  These folks I get along with fine, it's the people I can't stand.  

Some are both.  How do they DO that shit?  Changing the gearing behidn their faces behind the scenes, slipping a snake into their own clockwork (12 hours of forked tongue, and remember to hose out the works later)  I need a nap.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

Luna

#4
March 18, 2011, 07:42:05 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 18, 2011, 07:37:38 PM
Frighteningly simialr to the cube world.

In cubeland, the concerns, the ideas, and the meds flow just as freely.  I get in some mornings and rev my brain up on coffee to the near psychotic point, and promply conduct my job.  When conducted right and well, people should hate me.  Well, the ones who are people should hate me, but any adjusted biped will recognize my professionalism and focus.  These folks I get along with fine, it's the people I can't stand.  

Some are both.  How do they DO that shit?  Changing the gearing behidn their faces behind the scenes, slipping a snake into their own clockwork (12 hours of forked tongue, and remember to hose out the works later)  I need a nap.

When I'm really lucky, I get the ones who must realize they are talking to the person who can solve their problem, but are so pissed off that the problem exists they are incapable of speaking in a civil tone to the one who can resolve it.  Yes, it's my job to solve the problem, and yes, I WILL solve it, once the actual problem is communicated to me (and, face it, kiddies, "why is my paycheck fucked up?" is NOT a helpful description of the problem), but if you make me listen to you bitch for a half hour (yes, this HAS happened) before you actually calm down enough to describe the problem, I swear, I will make you jump through enough hoops to burn off twenty pounds.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Adios

#5
March 20, 2011, 09:57:49 PM
When the machines die and The Day of Silence™ comes then it will be too late, won't it?

Sleeping like a baby, with the help of pills.

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
March 21, 2011, 05:03:59 PM
Quote from: Charley Brown on March 20, 2011, 09:57:49 PM
When the machines die and The Day of Silence™ comes then it will be too late, won't it?


Maybe my desk will shut the fuck up, at least.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#7
March 21, 2011, 05:10:14 PM
Damn!  I like this, but I'm glad I didn't see it on Friday bvecause it will cause me to lose sleep mulling it over in my brain  :lulz:

Nice work! :mittens:

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
November 03, 2011, 04:51:43 PM
Bump for a situation that's even funnier NOW than it was THEN.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#9
November 03, 2011, 05:41:52 PM
Wow.  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
November 03, 2011, 05:43:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 05:41:52 PM
Wow.  :lulz:

DANCE FASTER!  FASTER!

KEEP THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!  KEEP THOSE GEARS TURNING!  MILLIONS OF FAT PEOPLE DEPEND ON YOU TO KEEP THEIR CITIES LIT UP LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREES 24 FUCKING 7, ALL YEAR LONG!  WE NEED MORE STUFF, GRIND OUT THAT SYNTHETIC SAPPHIRE! 

RAAAAAAAAWHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#11
November 03, 2011, 05:57:14 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2011, 05:43:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 05:41:52 PM
Wow.  :lulz:

DANCE FASTER!  FASTER!

KEEP THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!  KEEP THOSE GEARS TURNING!  MILLIONS OF FAT PEOPLE DEPEND ON YOU TO KEEP THEIR CITIES LIT UP LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREES 24 FUCKING 7, ALL YEAR LONG!  WE NEED MORE STUFF, GRIND OUT THAT SYNTHETIC SAPPHIRE! 

RAAAAAAAAWHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!

IT'S NOT BURNING FAST ENOUGH

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT BURN FASTER.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
November 03, 2011, 05:59:29 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 05:57:14 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2011, 05:43:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 05:41:52 PM
Wow.  :lulz:

DANCE FASTER!  FASTER!

KEEP THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!  KEEP THOSE GEARS TURNING!  MILLIONS OF FAT PEOPLE DEPEND ON YOU TO KEEP THEIR CITIES LIT UP LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREES 24 FUCKING 7, ALL YEAR LONG!  WE NEED MORE STUFF, GRIND OUT THAT SYNTHETIC SAPPHIRE! 

RAAAAAAAAWHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!

IT'S NOT BURNING FAST ENOUGH

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT BURN FASTER.

BABY NEEDS A NEW PLASMA SCREEN!  MAKE THAT POWDER, SO THE KIDS IN CHINA CAN WORK FASTER!

THE GRAVY TRAIN WILL NEVER END IF WE WORK FASTER!  YOU CAN'T MAKE AN OMELET WITHOUT BREAKING EGGS, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE CHRISTMAS GIFTS WITHOUT BREAKING CHILDREN! 

GET

ON

THE

FUCKING

STICK!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#13
November 03, 2011, 06:01:40 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2011, 05:59:29 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 05:57:14 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2011, 05:43:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 05:41:52 PM
Wow.  :lulz:

DANCE FASTER!  FASTER!

KEEP THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!  KEEP THOSE GEARS TURNING!  MILLIONS OF FAT PEOPLE DEPEND ON YOU TO KEEP THEIR CITIES LIT UP LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREES 24 FUCKING 7, ALL YEAR LONG!  WE NEED MORE STUFF, GRIND OUT THAT SYNTHETIC SAPPHIRE! 

RAAAAAAAAWHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!

IT'S NOT BURNING FAST ENOUGH

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT BURN FASTER.

BABY NEEDS A NEW PLASMA SCREEN!  MAKE THAT POWDER, SO THE KIDS IN CHINA CAN WORK FASTER!

THE GRAVY TRAIN WILL NEVER END IF WE WORK FASTER!  YOU CAN'T MAKE AN OMELET WITHOUT BREAKING EGGS, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE CHRISTMAS GIFTS WITHOUT BREAKING CHILDREN! 

GET

ON

THE

FUCKING

STICK!

WE NEED MORE STUFF! EVERYBODY NEEDS MORE STUFF, CHEAPER. EXCEPT THOSE BASTARDS IN CHINA AND INDIA, THEY DON'T NEED STUFF THE WAY WE NEED STUFF. IN FACT, THEY'RE HAPPIER WITHOUT IT, IT SAYS SO RIGHT IN THEIR RELIGION. IT'S OUR MORAL DUTY TO RELIEVE THEM OF THEIR STUFF SO THAT WE CAN FILL OUR HOUSES WITH MORE STUFF.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
November 03, 2011, 06:03:28 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 06:01:40 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2011, 05:59:29 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 05:57:14 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 03, 2011, 05:43:42 PM
Quote from: Nigel on November 03, 2011, 05:41:52 PM
Wow.  :lulz:

DANCE FASTER!  FASTER!

KEEP THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!  KEEP THOSE GEARS TURNING!  MILLIONS OF FAT PEOPLE DEPEND ON YOU TO KEEP THEIR CITIES LIT UP LIKE FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREES 24 FUCKING 7, ALL YEAR LONG!  WE NEED MORE STUFF, GRIND OUT THAT SYNTHETIC SAPPHIRE! 

RAAAAAAAAWHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!

IT'S NOT BURNING FAST ENOUGH

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE IT BURN FASTER.

BABY NEEDS A NEW PLASMA SCREEN!  MAKE THAT POWDER, SO THE KIDS IN CHINA CAN WORK FASTER!

THE GRAVY TRAIN WILL NEVER END IF WE WORK FASTER!  YOU CAN'T MAKE AN OMELET WITHOUT BREAKING EGGS, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE CHRISTMAS GIFTS WITHOUT BREAKING CHILDREN! 

GET

ON

THE

FUCKING

STICK!

WE NEED MORE STUFF! EVERYBODY NEEDS MORE STUFF, CHEAPER. EXCEPT THOSE BASTARDS IN CHINA AND INDIA, THEY DON'T NEED STUFF THE WAY WE NEED STUFF. IN FACT, THEY'RE HAPPIER WITHOUT IT, IT SAYS SO RIGHT IN THEIR RELIGION. IT'S OUR MORAL DUTY TO RELIEVE THEM OF THEIR STUFF SO THAT WE CAN FILL OUR HOUSES WITH MORE STUFF.

WORKING THEIR KIDS INTO AN EARLY GRAVE WILL MAKE THEM REINCARNATE IN A BETTER PLACE.  ONLY NOT HERE, OKAY?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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