More Futurisitic Fun Than You Really Wanted, part I of V

[Doktor Howl]

Day 4, Later

It had taken a while to convince Payne and the Templars to power down all their equipment.  I was eventually able to make my point, and we all moved through the tunnels for several hours, by the light of the weird book/lantern.

Words cannot express the relief I felt when the monastery hatched clanged shut behind us, and was quickly dogged shut by the ready room crew.

I took a 2 hour shower, and then went to the study, which was the closest thing the monastery had to a conference room.  Sams met me there, and we started speculating about the book, the lantern, and the nessies in general.

A few minutes later, Payne walked in, alongside Pixie and...Sams.  A far more solid Sams.  This weirded me out, not because of the doppleganger thing, but because I was kind of used to seeing through Sams.

Sams - both of them - were far more impressed.  They couldn't stop eyeballing each other, and the solid Sams kept muttering to himself about how his mama warned him this would happen one day.

Payne spoke first.

"So, what the hell do you have there?"

I described the surroundings we found it in, then I said "I think it's safe to read if there's someone there to make sure you don't starve to death."

"I'll do it", my Sams replied, "I don't think I belong here, anyway."

"But if it kills you, what happens to ME?", this from the other Sams, "Will I just pop out of existence or something?"

"I don't think so, Sams", I said, "I don't think you two are in the same universe.  At least not entirely."

My Sams muttered something about being stupid, and then just grabbed the book and looked at the open page.  As he did so, he looked a bit more solid.  He also went slack-faced, and drooled down his front.

Then he spoke.

"It's some kind of computer interface.  It probes our minds for input, which is why we all have that weird low-frequency feel to it.  It makes itself look like whatever we would expect to see...I mean, it makes us see what we'd expect to see."

"Can you do anything with it?", Payne asked.

"I think so.  It's very much like the information systems we use, except that it operates based on what you're thinking.  There's even an old login buffer.  Check this out...Previous logins...Moses, Samuel, John of Patmos, Casca, Patrick, John Dee, Aleister Crowley..."

"Jesus", I replied.

"No, he's not in here."

"Never mind.  Can you DO anything with it?"

"Yeah, I think so.  I'm logged in now.  Leave me be for a minute, I think I've found something interesting."

At that moment, the alarm in the control room went off.  Some guy came on the intercom.

"Hayes here.  The nessies are going bugfuck down in the tunnels.  And they're all headed directly this way.  Hundreds and hundreds of them."

To be continued

[Jenne]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.  Roger: 

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

SO AWESOME!!!!



MORE MORE MORE!!!

[Doktor Howl]

Day 4, still later

The fucking things were pounding on the other side of the hatch, I heard over the radio (no sense worrying about that now), but it seemed to be holding, and I had other problems.  They were also coming out of the sewers in other buildings, out of street drains, everywhere.

Solid Sams and I were on the roof with a couple of Templars, shooting down at the sleek, deadly looking forms as they approached the monastery.  Firearms-wise, the shotgun seemed to be useless at range, so I was using a borrowed rifle.

Down in the street, a police van screeched around the corner, and disgorged bobbies, none of which were armed with anything more than nightsticks.  As they came around the van, they all froze in horror.

The nessies, of course, knew precisely what to do.

As they boiled toward the hapless peelers, we stepped up our rate of fire as much as we could.  A squad of armored templars charged out of the monastery and started hacking, but it was a foregone conclusion.  One Templar and one cop made it onto the fire escape, raising it behind them.

The cop was raving as he reached the roof.  "YOU'RE NICKED!  YOU'RE ALL BLOODY NICKED!"

We started laughing, while continuing to shoot nessies.

"I think I found something really interesting", said my Sams, over the radio.

"Yeah?  We're kind of busy, up here."

"Well, I'll just tell you the important bit now, then.  The nessies are a security system.  That recent bugger in that old room must have triggered them."

"Well, shut the fucking thing off!"

"I'm working on that.  This architecture is close to our way of doing things, but not quite the same."

"Well, then, let me know, right?"

I went back to shooting.  We were killing them by the score, but they had reached the monastery, and had breached the entrance door.

Machine gun fire lashed the street, tearing nessies into piles of gore.  Looking up, I saw some kind of armored car, and what appeared to be British Royal Marines.  The calvary had arrived.

And then I heard a scraping noise behind me, and an unearthly song.  Oh, fuck.

I spun around, hauling out the shotgun, but a claw swept it from my hand.  I desperately rolled backwards, as the nessie gathered itself for a spring...

...And stopped moving.  It just sort of sat there, bobbing up and down slightly.  Pulling a Bisley, I emptied the cylinders into its head.

"GOT IT!", said Sams.  None of the nessies in the street were moving, and the marines were tearing them to pieces with concentrated fire.

I laid there for probably ten minutes, trying to get my breathing under control, when suddenly I was flipped over on my back.  I looked up into the muzzles of half a dozen assault rifles.

"You, my son, have some explaining to do.", said someone wearing sergeant's stripes.  A distance away, I saw solid Sams and the other templars being detained as well.

"I'll come along quietly", I said, "If you promise to get me a decent cup of coffee."

To be continued.

[Doktor Howl]

Day 5

Frankly, I'd expected to be handled roughly.  The British Royal Marines are not known as a touchy-feely organization, after all.  But the worst I got was handcuffs in the front...More symbolic than anything, I suppose.  At no time was there less than eight marines around me, armed for bear.  They didn't say much, which suited me just fine.

After a brief helicopter ride, solid Sams and I found ourselves in a military facility of some kind.  We were placed in separate rooms, and my handcuffs were removed.  

An hour passed.

Eventually, a man wearing colonel's insignia entered the room with the sergeant that captured me, and sat down across from me.  Another surprise...No table, no bright lights.  Just this slightly frumpy looking colonel, who looked at me with a curious expression.

"I've heard that you were cooperative", he began.

"There was a mention of a decent cup of coffee", I replied.

He nodded to the sergeant, who left the room.

"Surprising.  Most men in your position would want something stronger."

"Not a good idea.  I've had a hell of a week, and I think coffee would be best."

The coffee arrived.  Taking a sip, I asked, "What would you like to know?"

"Everything, really.  Who are you?  Who are those people?  What were those things?  I've got 6 dead policemen, 50 dead civilians, and a few corpses in bloody space suits...Not to mention a building full of people in spacesuits, technology we don't understand, and enough weapons to turn the country upside down.  And bloody swords.  Swords."

"Well, in order, I'm Dok Howl, and I'm from Arizona.  I'm here at the request of the leader of the group you are referring to.  That group is a religious order..."

"A cult."

"A religious order dedicated to the betterment of the species, which has become sidetracked into the survival of the species.  And the nessies..."

"Nessies?"

"The creatures your men killed.  Nice job, by the way."

"Quite."

"Anyway, the creatures seem to be some sort of biological defense system for a computer that apparently operates in multiple dimensions at once."

"Stop fucking me about, son."

"Let me finish, and then you can have the sergeant beat the nonsense out of me, okay?"

"Very well, continue."

"We have no idea where the computer came from, or who built it, or what it's for.  All we can gather is that someone found it under South London, and set off the security.  An anti-virus, if you will.  And it's happened more than once in England's - the world's -  history, from what I can guess.  See-through Sams shut it off."

"Who?"

"He's the guy in the other room, sort of.  He's one of him, anyway."

"Talk sense, man!"

"I am.  It's just that sense isn't what it used to be.  Anyway, see-through Sams is Solid Sams', except from an alternate Earth, one that has been overrun by the nessies entirely.  The only reason I could see him at all is that he stayed within a few feet of the computer.  Though I think it isn't actually the computer, just a terminal.  You didn't come across that, by any chance?  It looks like an old book."

"No.  I think you should write everything down, don't you?"

"Sure.  But you're never going to actually let me leave, are you?"

"I don't know."

He was lying, of course.  I wouldn't let me go, if I were him.  He left, and I wrote this account for a while, and then I went to sleep on a cot in the corner.

To be continued.

[Doktor Howl]

Day Seven

I awoke to the sound of conversation.  Looking up, the other end of my room was glowing a familiar shade of blue.

And then Sams & Sams walked through the wall.

See-through Sams said, "Sorry that took so long, Dok.  I was busy clearing out the nessies from alternate worlds.  It was taking forever, until I realized I could do it all at once, with a 'global' haha command."

"So it's over?"

"Yeah, but we can do a LOT with this thing.  We can locally change the way the universe works, though I don't suggest we do that.  We can move from one place to another, or one world or another.  But if you're in the wrong world, you pop back to your normal world if you go more than ten meters away from the book.  And that brings me to my problem."

"What's that?"

"Having met me, I kinda like me.  And I like this world better than mine.  I want to stay, but to do so, I have to dump someone else in my world.  And I think I know just the guy."

"Who?"

"This asshole named Hayes.  He's a bigger asshole here, from what I gather, and I think they deserve each other."

"Okay, but..."

The door flew open, and the Colonel and some marines pointed weapons at us.

"What's the trouble, Colonel?", I asked.

"What in hell is going on in here?", he shouted, "and why can I see through one of you?"

"I already told you that, Colonel.  It's not my fault if you chose not to believe me."

"I think your friend should hand that book over, now."

"Oh, I don't think so, Colonel.  In fact, it's time we left.  Don't do anything foolish, like shoot at us, or anything, because it would be a shame if we just 'adjusted' you somewhere else.  Like the moon."

See-through Sams giggled nervously.  The Samses weren't used to confrontation, it seemed.

I'm sitting here, writing the rest of this down, because the Colonel really should know all of this.  He's across from me now, red as a beet and muttering.  See-through Sams is sort of levitating next to him, which has convinced the Colonel that rough business is probably not in his best interests.

The Colonel has asked me what we plan to do with this, and I had to honestly reply that I don't know.  Maybe go exploring the multiverse a bit, while we learn the controls.  Then maybe we'll do something else.

Interesting note:  On the majority of Earths, intelligent life never developed.  That means we have lots and lots of room that we didn't have before.  That's something worth exploring, for example.

Well, thanks for your hospitality, Colonel.  I'll remember that your men didn't beat us up, when I get back.  But you'll have to excuse me...There's work to be done.

Doktor Hamish Howl,
<Date Redacted>

Following this written testimony, this "Doktor Howl" person and his companions simply got up out of their chairs and vanished.  If they are seen, they are to be watched, but NOT interfered with.  Notify your chain of command, and wait for orders.  Be also advised that every surviving member of the "Paynite" cult has vanished from their cells.  They are to be treated in the same manner as above.  For God's sake, don't make them angry until we can figure out what's going on.

- Colonel R.F. Smith
British Royal Marines.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Following this written testimony, this "Doktor Howl" person and his companions simply got up out of their chairs and vanished.  If they are seen, they are to be watched, but NOT interfered with.  Notify your chain of command, and wait for orders.  Be also advised that every surviving member of the "Paynite" cult has vanished from their cells.  They are to be treated in the same manner as above.  For God's sake, don't make them angry until we can figure out what's going on.

- Colonel R.F. Smith
British Royal Marines.

I am in awe! Both of the way you've opened "Book II" and the last paragraph, I was whooping and laughing when I read that.

[Doktor Howl]

I had a lot of fun with this.

EoC will be adding Sams' side here and there, apparently.  And what happens to Hayes.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!

I really can't wait to see this put together....

[Freeky]

SO MUCH WIN and the part where the British Marine guy was making a note was funny.

[Eater of Clowns]

Rita was in no better shape than reporter had been.  When Hayes told her he was looking for Sams, she nearly threw him out.  What stopped her was the sobbing, and Hayes doing his best to be human.  She blamed Sams, it seems.  She saw the same footage they'd all seen; a young man fleeing a mob of monsters.  Yet she was the only one that knew what he left behind in that building.

Shareese.  It was a new name to Hayes.  Pretty young thing, if Rita's word is any to trust, and near inseparable from Sams for a while.  When the former Paynite came to her that day, she threw him out in a bout of crying that she'd been slipping into off and on since.  Hayes didn't let on to her why he wanted to find his friend.  It was better that way, not that it helped much.

It fell, finally, to check two places.  There was Mom and Dad Sams, with whom he wasn't sure where to start, or the Paynites, with whom he wasn't sure if he'd be welcome.

Standing outside the monastery, Hayes reflected on how comparatively little time he'd been above.  He didn't miss the sewers, nor the disquieting religious folk within, and only slightly did he miss dispatching with Nessies.  Things were admittedly simpler when waiting for the burst.

Absurdly, the notion of sneaking into Operations occurred to him.  He waved it in favor of a much simpler approach.

His hand raised to knock on the door, a familiar voice called out to him.

"Hayes!"

He turned, and there half the way down the street stood Sams.

The two men walked to each other.  As they approached, Hayes found himself at quite a pace with his hands balled into fists.

"Well what's come over you, then," Sams asked, seeing this.

"I thought you were dead.  I was sure of it, that when Palmer's little escape happened that you died with the rest of them."

"And your first reaction upon finding I'm not is to hit me?" Sams asked, aghast.

"Oh, I knew you weren't as soon as I saw your silly arse on the telly.  Hitting you was going to be the conclusion of a long process in which I decided how best to tell you to fuck off for letting me think I'd been responsible for your death."

"You know, on top of it, you look like you could actually hurt someone with those things now.  What have you been doing?  Why are you out here?"

"I made my way out.  But I came back to find you.  I suppose because nothing else really made much sense."

The pair stood there for some time, minds racing and not of a word of it coming to their mouths.

"I need your help," Sams said finally.

"You certainly seem to."

"I'm going into the sewers," the younger man said.  It was with a firmness in his voice that had quite a bit more exercise lately.

"I'm telling you, the servohead thing is-" Hayes began.

"No servos.  At least, not working ones.  I'm going in because I know there's more to this, Hayes, and we aren't going to find out what it is by defending the monastery or even above ground.  They came from the sewers, the reason why they came has to be in the sewers.  I'm going to find it."

"You'll be killed."

"I won't.  Now will you help me or not?"

"What do you need?"

"Go knock on that door and get your job back.  In a few days, you're going to lose account of a suit of armor.  I have the rest figured out."

[Luna]

Sweet Mother of Mercy...

The awesome...

[Jenne]

WHAT A TWIST!  Go EoC, Go!

[Eater of Clowns]

He was needed badly.

The Hessians were all but dismantled, their last run being when their leader crawled to the above ground.  His name was a curse to a few of them, though it was Miller that blamed him the most.  Of course, that's because his dying words were on mission he'd been left to helm, and it was directly after the discovery Hayes was gone that a Nessie delivered the fatal blow.

Hayes hadn't seen that coming.  He'd done his best to keep his crew sustained in his absence – even set up his last mission to be a simple one to ease the shock.

Sams told him to get his job back.  For a long time Operations hadn't been his job.  After knocking on the monastery door, Payne took a quick look at him and pointed him to the sewers.

He wouldn't be The Hessian again, not in name.  Just another servohead.

In the days since Sams stole off with an unaccounted for suit, Hayes was running missions two, sometimes three times in twenty four hours.  He didn't recognize most of the templars and didn't care to even try.

Chaos visited, several days after his friend's departure.  In numbers he'd never seen, the Nessies poured from every sewer grate around.  There was a certain terror the first time he'd seen them in concentration, though even that was not of this size.  When it happened, they spread and hunted individually, their minds going off to conquer one prey at a time.

Now was another matter.  They came from all directions, seemingly, and made as though to converge on a single point.  The sight of them rushing together, a single mind in a hundred bodies, was like nothing he could conceive.

Immediately, Hayes ran to the nearest suit.  Since dozens of others did the same, the nearest suit was hard to find.  When finally he was together, he saw a great many Templars standing about, or attempting to make a plan.

"Hessians," he roared in habit.  To his surprise, several heads turned to him.  "Take your weapons and come to me!  This is open combat, not the tunnels!  Keep to each others backs and fight them at choke points – do not let them surround us!"

He left and did not turn back.  A dozen men followed him to the fight.

[Eater of Clowns]

**Recording.  Tunnel 9 Operations.  00/00/00  00:00**

"I thought I might find you here."

"Hasn't been anyone else in here since the fight.  What's with the book?"

"It's how I stopped them, Alec.  They're some kind of defense system.  I know it sounds strange but, here, hold it for a moment.  You'll understand."

"Sams, this is...everything.  This is everything you could possibly do.  Why did you stop me?"

"The one who took the book before me.  The one who unleashed the Nessies – he was a corpse when we found him.  He was absorbed by the book, couldn't think to do anything but-"

"Give it back."

"No."

"There's something I need to do.  One thing, actually, then so much more that can be done.  Sams, you can make everything better, change it all.  You can fix so much!  We have to do that!"

"I've fixed the Nessies, Hayes, and until I know more about this book that's all I intend to do."

"But before the Nessies, you can undo everything that was wrong!  Think of it all!  Here, give it back here and I can show you."

"No.  I think it's best if I leave."

"Leave to where?"

"Another world, to start.  I have to keep this book safe and, more importantly, keep the world safe from it.  You may not have noticed in your glimpse, but there are a number of places where the Nessies won.  We were lucky here and I did the best I could there but I need to do some travelling."

"Let me have the book just a moment, please Sams.  You can grab it back again like you just did.  Just allow me a moment for one thing."

"You can't bring your wife back, Alec."

"Yes I bloody well can!  If you give me that book I can or you can do it yourself right now!  Do that.  You know it's possible."
"Of course it's possible, but look at what else is possible with this thing.  You don't know what could come of making it happen."

"Don't leave me here alone, Sams.  You go off and have your book just leave me with her."

"I...have someone in mind to send to you, now.  You've convinced me.  I'm leaving, Hayes.  Goodbye."

**End Recording**

**Recording.  Tunnel 9 Operations.  00/00/00  00:00**

"He did that to us.  They did that to us."

"And what do we do?  You know, we ought to split up, go our separate ways but, of course, keep in close touch."

"I can appreciate the idea.  Where to?"

"I think I'll go to America.  We've always wanted to see it.  And it's where this Doktor Howl fellow comes from."

"Great idea.  Me, I suppose I'm a bit of a homebody.  I think I'll see what happens with the Paynites.  Now they don't have any Nessies to fight, I think one or two might have some difficulties readjusting to life above.  Not to mention without the juice."

"You do that."

"And we'll find them.  And we'll remember what he did."

"And we'll fix it."

**End Recording**