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The Art of Communication, part 1

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, April 25, 2011, 04:23:38 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

April 25, 2011, 04:23:38 PM
We were 6 miles in the air, and the teabagger wouldn't shut up.  They never shut up, of course, for the same reason new converts to evangelical religions can't shut up.

I had been trying to edit 30 Days of Eris, because I figured I wouldn't have time to do it in Hamilton...But it was impossible to work.  The man went on and on, boring the living bejesus out of the old man in the aisle seat.

At some point during a monologue about Planned Parenthood, he turned to me, and asked "You heard that too, right?  96% of their money goes into abortions."

Well, there was no getting around it.  I couldn't get any work done, so I jumped on in.

"It's far worse than that",  I replied, "the other 4% goes into convincing White women to get abortions."

"No shit?"

"For real.  The Black population is just 13% of the overall national population, and Planned Parenthood is trying to even things out a bit.  So they convince prospective young White women to have abortions, even if they're married.

The old guy was trying to restrain a chuckle by this point.

Teabagger gaped at me.

"That oughta be against the law!  The damn Mexicans are breeding like flies!  Why don't they try to get them to stop?"

"Well, that would be kind of pointless, right?  I mean, all Mexicans are Catholic, so they wouldn't go for it.  You'd have to force them to do it, and 4% of their budget just isn't enough."

"Damn liberals!  The whole world's going to hell, and they're out killing babies.  Thousands a day!"

He was getting a little loud, and the stewardess was looking worried.  Why not ramp it up a bit?

"Well, it's a free market thing.  There's enough dead babies for everyone, but distributing them - you know, making sure everyone gets their share - is a problem that capitalism hasn't yet solved."

"What?"

"Oh, yeah.  For example, I have two kids, and neither one of them is dead.  Then there's this Muslim family I know, they have 8 kids, and all of them are alive.  I keep hearing about all these dead babies, and I have to ask myself, 'Where's mine?'. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?  Are you some kind of freak?"

"Some of my detractors think so, but they have the wrong values.  You, for example.  Looking at your boots (he was wearing steel toes), you work for a living, right?  Real work, not paper-pushing like those college boys in the office."

"Yeah.  I've worked for 25 years, non-stop."

"Well, that just makes you a sucker.  This is America.  If you don't have an MBA, you're trash."

"Well, what the hell do YOU do?"

"I'm a paid consultant for Planned Parenthood, would you believe it?"

At this point, the stewardess ruined all the fun, by insisting that teabagger change seats with a young lady a few rows behind.  Teabagger didn't want to do it, I mean, here's his big moment to castigate a sinner...But the stewardess reminded him that failure to comply with a flight attendant's instructions was a federal felony.  He shot me a poisonous look, and moved.

The lady sat down in the center seat, giggling.

"You were twisting him up on purpose, weren't you?"

"Guilty as charged, ma'am."

"Why even bother talking to someone like that?"

"Well, it's all about communication.  If my arse had vocal cords, I'd bellow The Truth at him in terms he could understand...But since this isn't the case, I did the next best thing.  Hey, you want my extra booze coupon off my tickets?  They come free with business class, and I'm only having one."

"Sure, thanks."

The rest of the flight consisted of getting some work done, and occasionally chatting with the old guy and the young lady, as the plane flew East through the clouds.

Or Kill Me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Lies

#1
April 25, 2011, 04:31:36 PM
 :lulz:
You are a true IRL trolling genius.
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
April 25, 2011, 04:33:21 PM
Quote from: Lies on April 25, 2011, 04:31:36 PM
:lulz:
You are a true IRL trolling genius.

Ze jokes!  Zey write themselves!   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#3
April 25, 2011, 04:34:54 PM
It's so hard to resist messing with them, they are just so easy to fuck with,

:mittens:  Roger, look s like you found a way to entertain yourself  :lulz:

I'm surprised the guy didn't attack you in the parking lot.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
April 25, 2011, 04:37:24 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 25, 2011, 04:34:54 PM
It's so hard to resist messing with them, they are just so easy to fuck with,

:mittens:  Roger, look s like you found a way to entertain yourself  :lulz:

I'm surprised the guy didn't attack you in the parking lot.



Apparently, we had different connecting flights, which is a damn shame.  I had only been warming up.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#5
April 25, 2011, 04:42:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 25, 2011, 04:37:24 PM
Quote from: Khara on April 25, 2011, 04:34:54 PM
It's so hard to resist messing with them, they are just so easy to fuck with,

:mittens:  Roger, look s like you found a way to entertain yourself  :lulz:

I'm surprised the guy didn't attack you in the parking lot.



Apparently, we had different connecting flights, which is a damn shame.  I had only been warming up.
:evil:

Richter

#6
April 25, 2011, 04:42:33 PM
:lulz:
I'm surprised his disbelief didn't crest before the dead baby bit.  
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
April 25, 2011, 04:46:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 25, 2011, 04:42:33 PM
:lulz:
I'm surprised his disbelief didn't crest before the dead baby bit.  

He WANTED to believe that 48% of the country is that evil.

So now he'll go spreading crap he heard "from the horse's mouth", and things will continue to spiral.  I just think of it as doing my part, you know?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Luna

#8
April 25, 2011, 04:46:32 PM
Quote from: Richter on April 25, 2011, 04:42:33 PM
:lulz:
I'm surprised his disbelief didn't crest before the dead baby bit.  

Roger was saying what he wanted to hear, so of course he believed it.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

#9
April 25, 2011, 04:49:18 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

:mittens:
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#10
April 25, 2011, 04:57:06 PM
 :lulz: That was awesome!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
April 25, 2011, 04:58:34 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 25, 2011, 04:57:06 PM
:lulz: That was awesome!

It was just the first in a string of horrible shit that wouldn't stop.  This always happens when I travel.

TGRR,
Shit Magnet
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#12
April 25, 2011, 05:07:02 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 25, 2011, 04:58:34 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 25, 2011, 04:57:06 PM
:lulz: That was awesome!

It was just the first in a string of horrible shit that wouldn't stop.  This always happens when I travel.

TGRR,
Shit Magnet

Traveling with you sounds FUN.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
April 25, 2011, 05:34:30 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 25, 2011, 05:07:02 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 25, 2011, 04:58:34 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 25, 2011, 04:57:06 PM
:lulz: That was awesome!

It was just the first in a string of horrible shit that wouldn't stop.  This always happens when I travel.

TGRR,
Shit Magnet

Traveling with you sounds FUN.

It would be more fun if I DID have vocal cords in my arse.  Oh, yes.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jenne

#14
April 25, 2011, 05:42:17 PM
:lulz:  CLASSIC!!!
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