WAIT

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"Get in the back of the van" isn't a pickup line?

No wonder I had so much fucking fun in Liverpool back in the 90s.

TGRR,
Up for any program.

[LMNO]

This would be the right time to inform you that I made that track into a ringtone.  You're the only person assigned to it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This would be the right time to inform you that I made that track into a ringtone.  You're the only person assigned to it.

That explains a few things.

[Adios]

I always just used "Show me your tits." Worked more often than not.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Worst line I ever had given to me.....

Come on baby, it's not like you have anything better to do.....

[Luna]

Worst line...  True story.

I'm sitting 'round the campfire with friends at an SCA event. 

Very drunk guy, at his first event drops onto the bench next to me.  His pick up line.  "Are you married?"

At the time, I wasn't, but I was living with my now-not-yet-ex-husband.  Deciding explaining the finer points was a waste of time, I said, "Yes."

"Oh.  Is he HERE?"

Me:  "Yes.  He is.  He's the big guy sitting on the other side of you... holding the pit bull."

All true.  He was in a chair rather than on the bench for enough stability to hold our full-grown pit bull in his lap.  She was cold.

His response?  "Oh..."  And he drops his hand on my thigh.  HIGH on my thigh.

I look at him, look down at his hand, look back at him, and just shake my head... and two of the guys (both bouncers back in the real world) decided he was all done, grabbed him by the shoulders, and hauled him off to bed.

[Suu]

It's the best when it somehow comes down to their penis.

"Hey, my cock is pretty big."

"That's nice."

"But I could use a second opinion."

"I can give a referral."

[Adios]

I'd like to check you for ticks.

Song by Brad Paisley.

[East Coast Hustle]

I've actually had "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" used on me (which was charming), but the absolute worst pickup line I've ever personally heard used was used by a fisherman who was playing pool in the same dive bar that my date and I were enjoying our tequila in. He had to ask her to move so he could take a shot, and in doing so he looked down at her ass, leered approvingly, looked up at her and said "damn, you sure do got a nice shitter, huh?"

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In the OP, I was referencing being hit on the head by the Liverpool police, not getting picked up.

Just saying.   

[Adios]

In the OP, I was referencing being hit on the head by the Liverpool police, not getting picked up.

Just saying.   

This is PD. Things rarely turn out as intended. 

[East Coast Hustle]

In the OP, I was referencing being hit on the head by the Liverpool police, not getting picked up.

Just saying.   

If you're making a distinction between the two, maybe you're not serious enough about having a good time.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In the OP, I was referencing being hit on the head by the Liverpool police, not getting picked up.

Just saying.   

If you're making a distinction between the two, maybe you're not serious enough about having a good time.

[*GrumpButt*]

Worst line...  True story.

I'm sitting 'round the campfire with friends at an SCA event. 

Very drunk guy, at his first event drops onto the bench next to me.  His pick up line.  "Are you married?"

At the time, I wasn't, but I was living with my now-not-yet-ex-husband.  Deciding explaining the finer points was a waste of time, I said, "Yes."

"Oh.  Is he HERE?"

Me:  "Yes.  He is.  He's the big guy sitting on the other side of you... holding the pit bull."

All true.  He was in a chair rather than on the bench for enough stability to hold our full-grown pit bull in his lap.  She was cold.

His response?  "Oh..."  And he drops his hand on my thigh.  HIGH on my thigh.

I look at him, look down at his hand, look back at him, and just shake my head... and two of the guys (both bouncers back in the real world) decided he was all done, grabbed him by the shoulders, and hauled him off to bed.

omaaaag lmfao

Iv'e had something close to this happen, hubby wasnt there though. Instead of my thigh he grabbed my titts... I know they are huge but god damn man.....

[Luna]

Worst line...  True story.

I'm sitting 'round the campfire with friends at an SCA event. 

Very drunk guy, at his first event drops onto the bench next to me.  His pick up line.  "Are you married?"

At the time, I wasn't, but I was living with my now-not-yet-ex-husband.  Deciding explaining the finer points was a waste of time, I said, "Yes."

"Oh.  Is he HERE?"

Me:  "Yes.  He is.  He's the big guy sitting on the other side of you... holding the pit bull."

All true.  He was in a chair rather than on the bench for enough stability to hold our full-grown pit bull in his lap.  She was cold.

His response?  "Oh..."  And he drops his hand on my thigh.  HIGH on my thigh.

I look at him, look down at his hand, look back at him, and just shake my head... and two of the guys (both bouncers back in the real world) decided he was all done, grabbed him by the shoulders, and hauled him off to bed.

omaaaag lmfao

Iv'e had something close to this happen, hubby wasnt there though. Instead of my thigh he grabbed my titts... I know they are huge but god damn man.....

Had he grabbed my tits, they likely would still be looking for the body. 

The next morning, one of the guys was telling the story, and an old friend of mine (and former Green Beret) blinked, stared at me, and asked, dead serious, "do you want me to kill him?"

"Er... no, thanks, really.  No harm done..."

He then turns around and looks at my SO...  Who shrugs, and says, "if she needed help, she'd ask."