The Road to Nowhere, part I of V

[The Good Reverend Roger]

So you snap out of it, right, you snap out of it and the world sort of shifts back to normal.  Walls have right angles again, the world is brighter, without those awful shadows all over the place.  People are no longer conspiring against you, or at least your friends aren't.  Things are better.

Mostly.

I say mostly, because things are a little different.  You're a bit older, and that time you missed is gone.  Some of your friends won't talk to you...or worse, they do talk to you, but in a vague, offhand way that says you're just someone they used to know.

They're gone, even if they're polite about it.  Rather than continue the farce, you erase your contacts (And that's even worse, because it makes you maybe suspect that you're not better after all) and move on.  Just let it go.  Ignore the feelings of abandonment...Because, really, how long were they supposed to hang on?  Don't get mad.  Just pick yourself up and move on, even if it feels like you're missing a tooth and you just have to keep probing the socket with your tongue.

That being said, things are better.  

It's been seven months since the last "episode" ended, and things are pretty much on track.  New friends, a new place, a fresh start.  The oldest, the boy, has a pretty girlfriend who's smart as hell, funny, and seems to genuinely love him.  The younger kid, the daughter, is developing real talent as a writer and an artist.  The woman puts up with you, and is never put off by any of the more extreme shit you exhibit when the mood takes you.

And you've learned to value these people, because you never know when things will go upside down again, and there's no way to tell what will be left next time you break the surface...So you learn to appreciate the people who stuck by you, you learn to spend a little more time with them.  Last weekend, My daughter and I spent 2 hours watching old Beavis & Butthead episodes (She'd never seen them) and laughing ourselves sick.  

My son, of course, wants to spend his time tooling around in the Jeep with his girlfriend, and spending as much time as he can with his friends before he ships out to the Marines, which is as it should be.

And that's really the point, isn't it?  Live like there's no tomorrow, because there might not be.  Get in all the living you can, eat the hell out of that cheeseburger, and as for the friends that left, more power to them.  Life's too damn short to get mad at people for walking away after a reasonable amount of time, even if you have started to forget what they looked like, or what their voices sounded like.  Just move on.

Or Kill Me.

[Payne]

That's really sweet, Roger.

The rhythm of the writing is something I don't often see you use, but you use it well. It was almost like a poem, the way it read.

You've got to hold that realness in front of you all the time, and from what I've experienced in my life that's the only thing I can say about this. Develop ways to avoid the bad shit that goes down (your "episodes"), ways to enjoy the shit you can't avoid and ways to keep that which is real in front of you.

[Jenne]

Yes!  Life,

It's just too damned short to sweat the little things

BIG HUG, ROGER (and sorry I missed your call while on convention--hope you got my text!)

[Adios]

I wouldn't call it the road to nowhere, I would call it the road to everything.

[Payne]

I wouldn't call it the road to nowhere, I would call it the road to everything.

I'm sure it's building up to that, though.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yes!  Life,

It's just too damned short to sweat the little things

BIG HUG, ROGER (and sorry I missed your call while on convention--hope you got my text!)

Naw, you were always busy, even before I got sick.  And yeah, I got your texts.  I thought I responded, but I guess not.

[Luna]

And you've learned to value these people, because you never know when things will go upside down again, and there's no way to tell what will be left next time you break the surface...So you learn to appreciate the people who stuck by you, you learn to spend a little more time with them. 

This.  Very this.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I wouldn't call it the road to nowhere, I would call it the road to everything.

I'm sure it's building up to that, though.

Yeah, pretty much.

[Payne]

I wouldn't call it the road to nowhere, I would call it the road to everything.

I'm sure it's building up to that, though.

Yeah, pretty much.

I dunno how I feel about that yet, but I will read it anyway and let you know 

[Adios]

I wouldn't call it the road to nowhere, I would call it the road to everything.

I'm sure it's building up to that, though.

Yeah, pretty much.

Sorry, didn't mean to jump the gun there.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I wouldn't call it the road to nowhere, I would call it the road to everything.

I'm sure it's building up to that, though.

Yeah, pretty much.

I dunno how I feel about that yet, but I will read it anyway and let you know 

Yeah, well, I'm just finally having a slow day, and it occurred to me how many of my friends (online and IRL) haven't hung out with me or spoken to me since I was ill.  Top it off with a couple of close relatives dying, and it's kind of a bummer.

[Luna]

I'd take you out for a beer tonight, but it's a fuck of a commute.

[Payne]

I wouldn't call it the road to nowhere, I would call it the road to everything.

I'm sure it's building up to that, though.

Yeah, pretty much.

I dunno how I feel about that yet, but I will read it anyway and let you know 

Yeah, well, I'm just finally having a slow day, and it occurred to me how many of my friends (online and IRL) haven't hung out with me or spoken to me since I was ill.  Top it off with a couple of close relatives dying, and it's kind of a bummer.

Yeah, I figured it was something like that. You know I'm always good for spagspeak when we're both awake and at home for it. I'll even try to not be drunk as fuck next time.

[Adios]

I wouldn't call it the road to nowhere, I would call it the road to everything.

I'm sure it's building up to that, though.

Yeah, pretty much.

I dunno how I feel about that yet, but I will read it anyway and let you know 

Yeah, well, I'm just finally having a slow day, and it occurred to me how many of my friends (online and IRL) haven't hung out with me or spoken to me since I was ill.  Top it off with a couple of close relatives dying, and it's kind of a bummer.

If that's the kind of friends they were, then they weren't, so much.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'd take you out for a beer tonight, but it's a fuck of a commute.

And I can't have beer.  

I'll get over it.  This place doesn't stay slack for long.  When the shit hits the fan again (say, Wednesday), I'll be right as rain.