Shyness vs. gynophobia

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Stella, this thread is not about a philosophical debate about "what love is". In fact, it's not about love at all.

The biological components of love are one thing; of course psychological and behavioral components affect them. What, exactly, is the point you are trying to make, and how is it relevant to the topic?

[Slyph]

You know what really, really fucks you up? Platonic rejection. "What the fuck is fundamentally wrong with me?" vs. "Why don't people want my dick?"

I feel like I'm fucking five years old right now. I feel like a fucking child. What happened to me man? I used to be beautiful.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, if it's really incompatibilities. Sometimes it's peoples' own demons, though.

In what way do a person's own demons creating insecurity in a relationship not qualify as "incompatibilities"? 

Many incompatibilities that are not a disparity in life goals are simply unresolved individual neuroses. Mr. Language (who is shy, making this post nominally topical) and I have extremely compatible life goals, but our individual unresolved neuroses make us incompatible partners at this time.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You know what really, really fucks you up? Platonic rejection. "What the fuck is fundamentally wrong with me?" vs. "Why don't people want my dick?"

I feel like I'm fucking five years old right now. I feel like a fucking child. What happened to me man? I used to be beautiful.

Sometimes it's you, but sometimes it's them. If they give you feedback on why they rejected you, give it fair consideration.

If you have recently made a positive life change, you may have outgrown them... they may express this by telling you that you're uptight, no fun anymore, that you act like you're better than them, etc. If they have made a recent positive life change, they may feel that they've outgrown you and it's no longer healthy for them to spend time with you.

[Slyph]

It's evidently not them, since it's everyone. I'm screaming into the dark, there's no fucking echo. I don't feel like I've had a successful conversation in months, At this point I'm shitting myself at the store, panicking in case I fuck up and they think I'm weird... buying things... like a snickers. What the fuck...

[Kai]

Here is a little contrast between the pleasure centers being stimulated by beautiful young women.

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdm3T67IXdA&feature=fvwrel

...and then this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l07cMK6iWUk

...and tell me which one was more pleasurable to view.

Honestly? The first one I was thinking...this is just fucking weird.

The second one had me smiling and feeling good.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Here is a little contrast between the pleasure centers being stimulated by beautiful young women.

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdm3T67IXdA&feature=fvwrel

...and then this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l07cMK6iWUk

...and tell me which one was more pleasurable to view.

Honestly? The first one I was thinking...this is just fucking weird.

The second one had me smiling and feeling good.

The first one is, indeed, extremely weird. It's an art piece on using women's bodies as a commodity to sell unrelated merchandise. The second, obviously, is a spoof of the first.

[Kai]

Here is a little contrast between the pleasure centers being stimulated by beautiful young women.

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdm3T67IXdA&feature=fvwrel

...and then this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l07cMK6iWUk

...and tell me which one was more pleasurable to view.

Honestly? The first one I was thinking...this is just fucking weird.

The second one had me smiling and feeling good.

The first one is, indeed, extremely weird. It's an art piece on using women's bodies as a commodity to sell unrelated merchandise. The second, obviously, is a spoof of the first.

And the second was more pleasurable to view.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It's evidently not them, since it's everyone. I'm screaming into the dark, there's no fucking echo. I don't feel like I've had a successful conversation in months, At this point I'm shitting myself at the store, panicking in case I fuck up and they think I'm weird... buying things... like a snickers. What the fuck...

Did you change something about your life recently?

Are people really avoiding you, or are you just paranoid that they're avoiding you? Have you asked anyone?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Here is a little contrast between the pleasure centers being stimulated by beautiful young women.

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdm3T67IXdA&feature=fvwrel

...and then this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l07cMK6iWUk

...and tell me which one was more pleasurable to view.

Honestly? The first one I was thinking...this is just fucking weird.

The second one had me smiling and feeling good.

The first one is, indeed, extremely weird. It's an art piece on using women's bodies as a commodity to sell unrelated merchandise. The second, obviously, is a spoof of the first.

And the second was more pleasurable to view.

You already said it was more pleasurable for you. I wasn't arguing about that, I was simply agreeing that the first one was weird, and explained what it was meant to be.

The second one was somewhat amusing, although I don't personally find it aesthetically pleasing, and watching it after seeing the first one drove the message of the first home harder for me, making me actually cringe a little more and probably get less amusement from it than I would otherwise have done.

Also, I posted those mostly to be funny, and it was a good opening...

[*GrumpButt*]

It's evidently not them, since it's everyone. I'm screaming into the dark, there's no fucking echo. I don't feel like I've had a successful conversation in months, At this point I'm shitting myself at the store, panicking in case I fuck up and they think I'm weird... buying things... like a snickers. What the fuck...

Have you started/changed/stopped/gone off any meds??

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Stella, this thread is not about a philosophical debate about "what love is". In fact, it's not about love at all.

The biological components of love are one thing; of course psychological and behavioral components affect them. What, exactly, is the point you are trying to make, and how is it relevant to the topic?

Was trying to clarify what exactly is meant by "love" for the purpose of the discussion, because it seems to jump from infatuation to dysfunction to brain chemicals to the real stuff and back again ITT.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Stella, this thread is not about a philosophical debate about "what love is". In fact, it's not about love at all.

The biological components of love are one thing; of course psychological and behavioral components affect them. What, exactly, is the point you are trying to make, and how is it relevant to the topic?

Was trying to clarify what exactly is meant by "love" for the purpose of the discussion, because it seems to jump from infatuation to dysfunction to brain chemicals to the real stuff and back again ITT.

It's all love. How functional it is depends on how functional the individuals experiencing it are.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Stella, since you brought it up and seem to want to keep talking about it, please to be starting own thread for discussing/debating "love"? This thread is about shyness.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yeah, if it's really incompatibilities. Sometimes it's peoples' own demons, though.

In what way do a person's own demons creating insecurity in a relationship not qualify as "incompatibilities"? 

I would think of "incompatibility" as something coming from BOTH people. Part of their basic natures, not something that has to be fixed, or can be.

Personal demons are purely internal, the only way to fix them is DIY and it's the responsibility of the individual who has them to root them out and shine some rational light on them. They can lead to some horrible disagreements, I just wouldn't call them incompatibilities.

Many incompatibilities that are not a disparity in life goals are simply unresolved individual neuroses. Mr. Language (who is shy, making this post nominally topical) and I have extremely compatible life goals, but our individual unresolved neuroses make us incompatible partners at this time.

I see what you're saying. I just tend to separate neuroses and incompatibilty.
Peace.