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Started by masquerading, May 09, 2011, 08:51:28 PM

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Anna Mae Bollocks

I'm cool with it, Rog.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 11, 2011, 07:34:30 PM
I'm cool with it, Rog.

Thank you.

Frankly, I think you and Nigel will make the best team since those two chicks who drive off the cliff at the end of the movie.  Hate to see you fight over something this inconsequential.
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I posted this:

Quote from: Nigel on May 10, 2011, 08:13:11 PM
Quote from: Luna on May 10, 2011, 07:57:47 PM
Quote from: Nigel on May 10, 2011, 07:54:01 PM
Yes, to what both of you said! It's not like a counselor can work magic... they can't MAKE you get better, they can only HELP you get better. You're still the one doing all the work, and it's not easy. Sitting in an office for an hour a week talking about your problems won't solve them.

I still remember what the professor of my first psych course in college told us.

"If everyone had ONE friend that they could talk about ANYTHING with, that they trusted completely... psychologists would be out of business."

I think that's (mostly) true for people without major deep-rooted problems stemming from childhood abuse or neglect. I have several very, very close friends who know everything about me. They know more about me than my therapist ever will, because I talk to them for many hours every week. Unfortunately, they don't really know what I need to do to work through having had a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder, and the way my mother's abuse and neglect affects my attachments as an adult. They don't really know how to help me process the leftover impact of having been raped at 15, that is now so buried within my personality that it's hard to even sort out where it came from. They talk to me about it, and that's great, but someone who has eight years of specialized schooling and fifteen years of dedicated practice focused on helping people fairly quickly move through very serious issues like that, and become more healthy and functional in their relationships, is going to be able to help me better and faster than my friends are able. My friends might say "Oh, Nigel's a sweetheart, but she's hot-headed and blows up sometimes". My therapist listened to me for a while and said "I think you have boundary issues. You don't defend your boundaries very well, and then you become angry when people trespass over them. You don't give yourself enough respect to demand that people respect you. Here; work on these boundary-enforcing exercises."

20 years of talking to close friends, and not one of them suggested this. Suddenly, Nigel is no longer a hothead. Suddenly, Nigel no longer feels put-upon, because Nigel is learning to say "back off" BEFORE someone crosses her boundaries.

My friends are smart as fuck, too. A medical doctor, an Oxford PhD, a Master of Public Health, a chemistry PhD, and a biophysicist. But they weren't trained to see the problems a psychologist is trained to see, nor trained how to fix them.

You posted this:

Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 11, 2011, 01:56:12 AM
A friend probably wouldn't use a term like "boundary issues" but they might say something like "why'd you let it get to that point?" Same result.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 11, 2011, 07:43:48 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 11, 2011, 07:34:30 PM
I'm cool with it, Rog.

Thank you.

Frankly, I think you and Nigel will make the best team since those two chicks who drive off the cliff at the end of the movie.  Hate to see you fight over something this inconsequential.

I don't really find it inconsequential, actually. But I'll drop it if she'll quit second-guessing my mental hygiene choices. :)
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 11, 2011, 07:43:48 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on May 11, 2011, 07:34:30 PM
I'm cool with it, Rog.

Thank you.

Frankly, I think you and Nigel will make the best team since those two chicks who drive off the cliff at the end of the movie.  Hate to see you fight over something this inconsequential.
:D
One of these days...ROAD TRIP!!!
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Telarus

Quote from: masquerading on May 11, 2011, 03:57:45 PM
So-Hey-Thanks for all the input guys.
Some good posts in here that help.

Outcome: Fuck it- Cancelled my appt. for now.
Maybe another time for now-I'll just suck it in and deal-just like about 99% of the rest of everyone.
:lol:


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