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Fun at the Refinery: It's Like Anthropology of the Stupid.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, May 23, 2011, 05:03:56 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

May 23, 2011, 05:03:56 PM
Okay, so we did a confined space entry on an acid tank last Friday.  The plan calls for the $10,000 whiz-bang O2 monitor to be on the tank that's full, and the $5,000 regular monitor to be on the tank that's empty (We know there's no acid in that).  The permits are all straight, and the entire area is roped off with red tape (do not cross).

Enter Mike and Ken, who are on a mission to show that a) we're doin' it wrong, and b) that they're so important that the red tape rule doesn't apply to them.  Up the stairs they come.  Mike decides that the expensive monitor should be on the occupied tank, and just as I'm opening my mouth to ask him what he's doing inside the tape, he grabs the monitor from where I'd clipped it to the tank.

Then he bobbles it, and it drops into the (full) acid tank.

I start laughing.

"Hey, Mike...That arrogance of yours comes cheap!  Only a $10,000 instrument and a ruined batch!"

Mike scurries off, swearing at me.

I look at Ken..."And what are YOU doing here?"

Ken also runs off.

At about this point, the contractor is done in the tank.  I tell the guys to close it up, because I have to go have a talk with the boss.

When I arrive at Jim's office, he's pounding the table over and over, and screaming at Mike...Who had, it seems, gone in to explain how his crossing the tape and ruining the batch and the instrument is obviously my fault.  My boss sees me standing at the door.

"YOU!  Get in here!"

"Okay, boss."

"Why did you have the monitor on that tank?"

"Because that's what the plan you approved said to do."

"Good enough.  Get out.  AND DON'T LISTEN AT THE DOOR, YOU SNEAKY BASTARD!"

I gave him a look of wounded innocence, and went to the break room to get a coffee.  Apparently, though, Ken decided HE should listen at the door.  My boss, assuming I was doing that, opened the door, and Ken fell into his office.

The explosion was loud, even in the breakroom.  As "Bob" is my witness, I couldn't stop laughing.

Apparently, Jim decided that Mike should apologize to me for crossing the tape (knowing that this would kill Mike.  Mike comes over to my office and snarls an apology.

Then he sees my computer screen, on which I am ordering a new instrument on his cost center.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Oh, that's easy, Mike...I'm picking your pocket while you stand there and watch.  Oh, look.  This puts you in the red for the year.  I guess no conventions for you, eh?"

The resulting tantrum is funnier if left undescribed.

There's nothing like ending the week with some massive ownage.

Or Kill Me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

P3nT4gR4m

#1
May 23, 2011, 05:06:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2011, 05:03:56 PM
"Good enough.  Get out.  AND DON'T LISTEN AT THE DOOR, YOU SNEAKY BASTARD!"

:spittake:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Adios

#2
May 23, 2011, 05:07:13 PM
I laughed about this most of the weekend. Priceless.

Freeky

#3
May 23, 2011, 05:34:50 PM
 :lol: That is an amazing sotry. :awesome:

Juana

#4
May 23, 2011, 05:41:34 PM
:lulz: Nice!
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Sir Squid Diddimus

#5
May 23, 2011, 05:59:44 PM
A++ would read again!!
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Luna

#6
May 23, 2011, 06:10:08 PM
Sounds like you had an awesome day.   :lulz:
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

LMNO

#7
May 23, 2011, 06:15:17 PM
It's the little things, really.

Disco Pickle

#8
May 23, 2011, 06:20:12 PM
Fuckin hilarious. 

$10,000?  If blatant disregard for established safety plans wouldn't get me fired from this place, then destroying a $10,000 piece of equipment BECAUSE of said disregard most certainly would.

how's this guy still employed at your company?
"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter." --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
May 23, 2011, 06:21:44 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on May 23, 2011, 06:20:12 PM
Fuckin hilarious. 

$10,000?  If blatant disregard for established safety plans wouldn't get me fired from this place, then destroying a $10,000 piece of equipment BECAUSE of said disregard most certainly would.

how's this guy still employed at your company?

You pretty much have to fail a drug test, get in a fist fight, or get caught stealing to get fired, here.  Hell, one of my mechanics gets all fucked up once a month and drunk-dials my boss.

:lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
May 23, 2011, 06:22:58 PM
Also, the batch contaminated by the guts of the instrument cost about $30K.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Disco Pickle

#11
May 23, 2011, 06:26:24 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2011, 06:21:44 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on May 23, 2011, 06:20:12 PM
Fuckin hilarious. 

$10,000?  If blatant disregard for established safety plans wouldn't get me fired from this place, then destroying a $10,000 piece of equipment BECAUSE of said disregard most certainly would.

how's this guy still employed at your company?

You pretty much have to fail a drug test, get in a fist fight, or get caught stealing to get fired, here.  Hell, one of my mechanics gets all fucked up once a month and drunk-dials my boss.

:lulz:

:lulz:

must be something about working around medium voltage electricity that attracts the more srs types that infest this place.  There's just no dedication to that kind of fun to be found here.  
"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter." --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
May 23, 2011, 06:27:35 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on May 23, 2011, 06:26:24 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2011, 06:21:44 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on May 23, 2011, 06:20:12 PM
Fuckin hilarious. 

$10,000?  If blatant disregard for established safety plans wouldn't get me fired from this place, then destroying a $10,000 piece of equipment BECAUSE of said disregard most certainly would.

how's this guy still employed at your company?

You pretty much have to fail a drug test, get in a fist fight, or get caught stealing to get fired, here.  Hell, one of my mechanics gets all fucked up once a month and drunk-dials my boss.

:lulz:

:lulz:

must be something about working around medium voltage electricity that attracts the more srs types that infest this place.  There's just no dedication to that kind of fun to be found here.  

We work on equipment that ranges from 24VDC all the way up to 13,800VAC, and my I&E guys are a barrel of laughs.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Disco Pickle

#13
May 23, 2011, 06:32:36 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2011, 06:27:35 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on May 23, 2011, 06:26:24 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 23, 2011, 06:21:44 PM
Quote from: Disco Pickle on May 23, 2011, 06:20:12 PM
Fuckin hilarious. 

$10,000?  If blatant disregard for established safety plans wouldn't get me fired from this place, then destroying a $10,000 piece of equipment BECAUSE of said disregard most certainly would.

how's this guy still employed at your company?

You pretty much have to fail a drug test, get in a fist fight, or get caught stealing to get fired, here.  Hell, one of my mechanics gets all fucked up once a month and drunk-dials my boss.

:lulz:

:lulz:

must be something about working around medium voltage electricity that attracts the more srs types that infest this place.  There's just no dedication to that kind of fun to be found here.  

We work on equipment that ranges from 24VDC all the way up to 13,800VAC, and my I&E guys are a barrel of laughs.

Well to be fair, the field service guys and a few of the mechanics and wire men know how to have a good time.  It's mostly the EEs and DEs that I'm stuck with here in the office that seem to walk around with their serious face all day.

"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter." --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#14
May 23, 2011, 06:37:06 PM
OH HOLY FUCK  :lulz:

How does Mike still have a job?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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