Dear Peasants and Hirelings of PD.com:

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You may now shower your adoration and respectful praise upon we, the admins, your rightful and just rulers and betters.

TGRR,
Pee-Stained Dentures?  Never heard of 'em.

[Golden Applesauce]

Fuck off.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Fuck off.

That right there is a violation of the "respect" rule, that is.

You, Ma'am, can just go sit in a corner and think about your misdeeds.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You'll be laughing out the other side of your neck when you get banned.

I don't want to do it, but I'll be outvoted.  You may rest assured, however, that I will raise holy hell about it, just not where you can see.

[Phox]

I, for one, respect and venerate our jizz mopper overlords. Where would we be if they did not do the thankless and sticky work of cleaning up after us? Rolling around in our own filthy secretions.... er, why do we need them again?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You'll be laughing out the other side of your neck when you get banned.

I don't want to do it, but I'll be outvoted.  You may rest assured, however, that I will raise holy hell about it, just not where you can see.

I's sorry. I repent for my foolhardiness.

Johnny Depp pudding wrestling.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Oh, kind and most benevolent admins, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this forum with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.... We are just not used to handsome admins!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I, for one, respect and venerate our jizz mopper overlords. Where would we be if they did not do the thankless and sticky work of cleaning up after us? Rolling around in our own filthy secretions.... er, why do we need them again?

Because we have put in the time and effort to research the holy texts, and besides, our families have been Discordians since the 11th Century.  Except ECH, whose family has been Discordian since the Lower Paleolithic Age.

And you really should be lining up to have wisdom dispensed to you.  We didn't study this shit for 30 years for nothing.

[Luna]

I, for one, respect and venerate our jizz mopper overlords. Where would we be if they did not do the thankless and sticky work of cleaning up after us? Rolling around in our own filthy secretions.... er, why do we need them again?

To mop up after GIGGLES.

There's some things NOBODY wants to roll in.

[Phox]

I, for one, respect and venerate our jizz mopper overlords. Where would we be if they did not do the thankless and sticky work of cleaning up after us? Rolling around in our own filthy secretions.... er, why do we need them again?

To mop up after GIGGLES.

There's some things NOBODY wants to roll in.

OFUK.  I forgot about GIGGLES.

I repent, oh mighty masters! Please dispense your wisdom upon us!

[Eater of Clowns]

Dear Mods and Admins of PD.com:

We are trying to sacrifice a sufficiently worthy creature to stay your wrath.

First we wanted to slay a billy goat, but the troll under the bridge got sick of their bullshit and ate them a long time ago.

Then we wanted to slay a bald eagle, but it turns out that they just sit around gorging on sickly looking fish as pale shadows of their former selves.

Then we wanted to slay a spider, but they were too big and the team we sent out came back in suits hocking pills and talking about American Idol.

Then we wanted to slay a person, but there aren't any more, just these things that look like them.

Then we wanted to slay those things in the sewers, but they sang such pretty songs and we forgot why we went there and we came home.

So please accept this sacrifice of sausage we got from the supermarket two days ago, and if the whippings are necessary at least let them be sexy.

Yours, Peasants and Hirelings.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I, for one, respect and venerate our jizz mopper overlords. Where would we be if they did not do the thankless and sticky work of cleaning up after us? Rolling around in our own filthy secretions.... er, why do we need them again?

To mop up after GIGGLES.

There's some things NOBODY wants to roll in.

OFUK.  I forgot about GIGGLES.

I repent, oh mighty masters! Please dispense your wisdom upon us!

Look it up yourself.  We had to.

C_A TGRR,
Doesn't have time to explain EVERYTHING to noobs.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Mods and Admins of PD.com:

We are trying to sacrifice a sufficiently worthy creature to stay your wrath.

First we wanted to slay a billy goat, but the troll under the bridge got sick of their bullshit and ate them a long time ago.

Then we wanted to slay a bald eagle, but it turns out that they just sit around gorging on sickly looking fish as pale shadows of their former selves.

Then we wanted to slay a spider, but they were too big and the team we sent out came back in suits hocking pills and talking about American Idol.

Then we wanted to slay a person, but there aren't any more, just these things that look like them.

Then we wanted to slay those things in the sewers, but they sang such pretty songs and we forgot why we went there and we came home.

So please accept this sacrifice of sausage we got from the supermarket two days ago, and if the whippings are necessary at least let them be sexy.

Yours, Peasants and Hirelings.

Then commission me a WOMP of ECH.  Make it SEXY.

[Luna]

Dear Mods and Admins of PD.com:

We are trying to sacrifice a sufficiently worthy creature to stay your wrath.

First we wanted to slay a billy goat, but the troll under the bridge got sick of their bullshit and ate them a long time ago.

Then we wanted to slay a bald eagle, but it turns out that they just sit around gorging on sickly looking fish as pale shadows of their former selves.

Then we wanted to slay a spider, but they were too big and the team we sent out came back in suits hocking pills and talking about American Idol.

Then we wanted to slay a person, but there aren't any more, just these things that look like them.

Then we wanted to slay those things in the sewers, but they sang such pretty songs and we forgot why we went there and we came home.

So please accept this sacrifice of sausage we got from the supermarket two days ago, and if the whippings are necessary at least let them be sexy.

Yours, Peasants and Hirelings.

I was trying to come up with something worthy, but EoC just talks too damn pretty.

I'd offer to sacrifice the leftover bacon from this weekend, but these spags went through SIX POUNDS, from Saturday through Monday morning...

I can offer to make the SPECIAL blackberry sundays for anybody who wants to make it here...  (They won't ship well, I assure you.)  Ask Cram, Trip, Richter, or one of the others who got one.  (By the time I was making them, I wasn't REALLY sober any more, and stuff happened...)