Quotes of the Moment II

[Jasper]

Yesterday;  I was at work, minding my own business.  Suddenly I get a text from my best friend:

"I hate you and I am going to set your eyebrows on fire."

I had no idea where that came from, or what inspired it all day until I talked to him later, and for some terrible reason being so hated for seemingly no reason made me unspeakably happy all day long.

Turns out it was because I sent him a link to eroticfalconry.com last night and had totally forgotten. 

[Richter]

(14:28:18)- Cram joined
(14:28:24)<Cram>weeeoooooo
(14:28:28)<Cram>been a hell of a morning already!
(14:29:52)<Cram>My boss was like, "Are you potentially interested in a position as reprint coordinator?"
(14:30:02)<Cram>I was like "would my title change?"
(14:30:04)<Cram>she said "no"
(14:30:14)<Cram>I said "would I get to renegotiate my salary?"
(14:30:17)<Cram>she said "no"
(14:30:29)<Cram>I said "Then what incentive are you offering me for taking on that degree of responsibility?"
(14:30:50)<Cram>and she was like, "Ah well... nothing like that I guess."
(14:30:54)<Cram>"ah then I'm not interested."
(14:32:02)<Cram>reaaalllllyyyy struggled to not drop that line from Office Space "If the only reason to work hard is not getting fired, you can expect people to work just hard enough to not get fired."
(14:32:11)<Cram>but that's realllllly not the kind of thing you should say to your boss :P

[...]

(15:02:55)<Cram>TIME TO APPLY FOR SOME MORE JOBS
(15:04:52)<Cain>hey Cram, I know of a place that is looking for a reprint coordinator
(15:05:05)<Cram>EAT SHITS
(15:05:08)<Cram>TWO OF THEM
(15:05:17)<Cram>what place is that?
(15:05:23)<Cram>is it my place?
(15:05:27)<Cram>EAT MY BUTT ON SUNDAY

This shit made my day.  Thank you all.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yesterday;  I was at work, minding my own business.  Suddenly I get a text from my best friend:

"I hate you and I am going to set your eyebrows on fire."

I had no idea where that came from, or what inspired it all day until I talked to him later, and for some terrible reason being so hated for seemingly no reason made me unspeakably happy all day long.

Turns out it was because I sent him a link to eroticfalconry.com last night and had totally forgotten. 

I love this.

[Pæs]

(14:28:18)- Cram joined
(14:28:24)<Cram>weeeoooooo
(14:28:28)<Cram>been a hell of a morning already!
(14:29:52)<Cram>My boss was like, "Are you potentially interested in a position as reprint coordinator?"
(14:30:02)<Cram>I was like "would my title change?"
(14:30:04)<Cram>she said "no"
(14:30:14)<Cram>I said "would I get to renegotiate my salary?"
(14:30:17)<Cram>she said "no"
(14:30:29)<Cram>I said "Then what incentive are you offering me for taking on that degree of responsibility?"
(14:30:50)<Cram>and she was like, "Ah well... nothing like that I guess."
(14:30:54)<Cram>"ah then I'm not interested."
(14:32:02)<Cram>reaaalllllyyyy struggled to not drop that line from Office Space "If the only reason to work hard is not getting fired, you can expect people to work just hard enough to not get fired."
(14:32:11)<Cram>but that's realllllly not the kind of thing you should say to your boss :P

[...]

(15:02:55)<Cram>TIME TO APPLY FOR SOME MORE JOBS
(15:04:52)<Cain>hey Cram, I know of a place that is looking for a reprint coordinator
(15:05:05)<Cram>EAT SHITS
(15:05:08)<Cram>TWO OF THEM
(15:05:17)<Cram>what place is that?
(15:05:23)<Cram>is it my place?
(15:05:27)<Cram>EAT MY BUTT ON SUNDAY

This shit made my day.  Thank you all.

[Doktor Howl]

"What if I don't want to get in the machine?"

"Then I'll have two big happy guys help you get comfortable."

"Um.  Okay."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"What if I don't want to get in the machine?"

"Then I'll have two big happy guys help you get comfortable."

"Um.  Okay."

Now, is this what they really said? Or is this what the brain converted it to? 

[Doktor Howl]

"What if I don't want to get in the machine?"

"Then I'll have two big happy guys help you get comfortable."

"Um.  Okay."

Now, is this what they really said? Or is this what the brain converted it to? 

My doctor and I have a very special relationship.

He wouldn't let me talk to the radiologist.  Says she wouldn't understand my humor.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"What if I don't want to get in the machine?"

"Then I'll have two big happy guys help you get comfortable."

"Um.  Okay."

Now, is this what they really said? Or is this what the brain converted it to? 

My doctor and I have a very special relationship.

He wouldn't let me talk to the radiologist.  Says she wouldn't understand my humor.

HA!

[BadBeast]

Gaddafi dies in the spangly gold underwear of his real life Hero, Peter Stringfellow.

Holly Pickett, a freelance photojournalist working in Surt, reported in a Twitter feed that she had seen Colonel Qaddafi's body in an ambulance.

"From the side door, I could see a bare chest with bullet wounds and a bloody hand. He was wearing gold-colored pants,"

[Cramulus]

Payne   and the Brits are all fucking WAAAAAAAARGHGHGLBLBLGHBLGH about me becoming a Citizen, it seems
Payne   I think the citizenship test now involves actually going down on a RealDoll of margerat thatcher

[Suu]

Dad: I am at your niece's birthday party, and I feel like I'm on the set of Teen Mom.

Me: Um...(adopted sister) is 23...

Dad: But there's a bunch of young girls here with kids...

Me: They're probably older than you think, Dad.

Dad: I know, but they're all sitting at one table, texting, while their fucking kids run around. It's annoying.

Me: Get over it, Gramps.

[LMNO]

"I'm gonna punch you so hard your vagina falls off."
-Mrs LMNO

[Suu]

Vegan cheese isn't cheese. It's a crime against humanity. - My vegetarian roommate.

[Cainad (dec.)]

"I'm gonna punch you so hard your vagina falls off."
-Mrs LMNO

[Cain]

<Cain>"[Iran] is a brutal dictatorship. And it's seeking nuclear weapons while denying it's doing so. It's long since been time for the United States to speak to this regime in the language it understands—force."
<Cain>only because America cannot speak Farsi