Quotes of the Moment II

[Don Coyote]

and there goes my coffee.

[Jenne]

<Cain>"[Iran] is a brutal dictatorship. And it’s seeking nuclear weapons while denying it’s doing so. It’s long since been time for the United States to speak to this regime in the language it understands—force."
<Cain>only because America cannot speak Farsi

...and you know how much they're paying for those who CAN speak Farsi?  $125K-250K for interpreters right now.  If you're willing to live on an airbase in Afghanistan, you get 6 figures, easily.  And according to my husband's interpreter cousin (he was over this weekend), you never have to leave base...

They also have simulation weekends in the CA/AZ desert, where you get paid $1200 for hanging out in an "insurgent" village, they put you up, give you food, etc., and you "work" for 3 days.  The whole "encampment" lasts like 5-6 days, but you're waiting around shooting the shit for most of that.

Crazy.

[Cain]

Shit, I may start learning Farsi for that much. 

Also, another IRC rant from me

<Cain>"Audiences have been walking out of the Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Marat/Sade, which features scenes of nudity and torture."
<Cain>gosh
<Cain>who could've guessed
<Cain>a play named after the Marquis de Sade
<Cain>with scenes of nudity and torture
<Cain>they might as well have named it My Little Pony: Revolution is Magic
<Cain>that is how badly they have mislead audiences
<Cain>since 1964, no less
<Cain>"Some of the more shocking scenes include a gang rape and a character being tortured with a Taser."
<Cain>aka, just another day in Belmarsh Prison

[Cramulus]

here's a shitload of dirty limericsk, read out loud by yours truly:

http://kiwi6.com/file/okz53pa513

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

here's a shitload of dirty limericsk, read out loud by yours truly:

http://kiwi6.com/file/okz53pa513

i LISTENED TO THAT EARLIER, IT WAS AWESOME.

[Richter]

Luna:  The lock on the back hatch of my van is fixed, but I still can't get the side doors open.

Richter: 

Luna: 

Richter: So... you'll have to get used to putting things in the rear.

Luna: ...oh damnit...

[Luna]

Luna:  The lock on the back hatch of my van is fixed, but I still can't get the side doors open.

Richter: 

Luna: 

Richter: So... you'll have to get used to putting things in the rear.

Luna: ...oh damnit...

One of these days, Richter...

[Jenne]

   

[Triple Zero]

[Payne]

In reference to my contribution in Open Bar this morning:

"Of course, we all know Nigel is a Ferengi. It's why people like to stick their fingers in her ears"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In reference to my contribution in Open Bar this morning:

"Of course, we all know Nigel is a Ferengi. It's why people like to stick their fingers in her ears"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH! 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Villager uploads a pic of me from the party on facebook.

Mutual friend: what does it say on his forehead?
Villager (knowing the real answer): iowa.
Twid: it says "ha-satan" in hebrew.
Twid: though admittedly it looks quite like iowa.

For a quick comparison read the first paragraph on satan on wikipedia.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Villager uploads a pic of me from the party on facebook.

Mutual friend: what does it say on his forehead?
Villager (knowing the real answer): iowa.
Twid: it says "ha-satan" in hebrew.
Twid: though admittedly it looks quite like iowa.

For a quick comparison read the first paragraph on satan on wikipedia.

I don't like reading about satan as it only makes more beloved my b, whom I cannot love. He is Satan, in a very real way.

[Suu]

Dartmouth Fett: I just got to see [insert dumb movie title here] for free. The perks of dating a girl who works for a movie theatre.

Me: Why the fuck are you texting me with this?

DF: I was wondering if you saw the film yet.

Me: No, I haven't. The perks of dating the man I'm with is that I get free tattoos and really good, non-vanilla sex that lasts for hours. I don't think you can afford to play "Can You Top This".

DF: You're always one-step ahead. ALWAYS. STILL.

Me: FOREVER.

[Telarus]