Quotes of the Moment II

[Suu]

Richter: It's 4:00pm, I'm bored, and I'm about to break into the Anne Frank Musical at work.

Me: Do it and report back with the results.

Richter: SRS. I have this stupid grin I can't get off my face, and I'm too close to point at the dishwasher or nuker while screaming, "SCHNELL!"

Me: Do it, and I will buy you a cheeseburger.

Richter: OH FUCK. Now the savings and wealth coach folks are here!

Me: IT'S NOW OR NEVER.

[Placid Dingo]

"You know how the Japanese people bombed Darwin? Why didn't we just, like, drop a nukebomb on them?"

[Triple Zero]

They ... how a we do a what now?

[Cramulus]

"Occupy Wall Street Fighter. Let's see Madoff keep his money after three rounds with Ryu."   -My friend Karl

[Suu]

"We kinda accidentally didn't the whole thing." <--- My boss.

[Suu]

Me: What's your stance on murder?

Boss: Better to do it yourself than hire someone else.

Me: How do you figure?

Boss: Well, if you do it yourself, you're committing an ethical and moral violation against just one person. If you hire someone, technically you're putting 2 people in check with their ethical and moral violations. By doing it by yourself, you're limiting the violations and stopping the spread of being unjust.

Me: Damnit. No hitman.

Boss: Nope. Do it yourself. May I recommend a weapon that's REALLY interesting?

[Cramulus]

What do we want?

A CURE FOR TOURETTE'S

When do we want it?

CUNTS

[Eater of Clowns]

Fun reading House of Leaves at work.

"John I need to find some work to do around here.  Reading this is too much work and I need a break."

and

"Did you hear that call?"

"JOHN I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW I'M READING MY BOOK UPSIDE DOWN."

[Richter]

"Facebook, Slagbook, meet just to Shagbook, sneaking about but then ya get caughtbook! Guiltbook, Shamebook, not ya real Namebook, in ya photos ya gorgeous but really yr a Mongbook! Prankbook, Skankbook what a fuckin Crankbook. Its gettin pretty scary cos its turning into Wankbook! Textbook, Sexbook, spying on your Exbook, someone 'likes' a photo and ya turn into a Pestbook! Scrapbook, Papbook catch the fuckin Clapbook, grab ya shitty iphone and add the shitty Appbook. Shitebook, Strifebook get a fucking Lifebook! Watch it if ya married cos they'll nick ya fuckin Wifebook! Creepbook, Peepbook when ya take a Leakbook! Yal even be Facebooking in ya fuckin Sleepbook!"

-Nurse East, blowing a gasket.

[Cainad (dec.)]

"Facebook, Slagbook, meet just to Shagbook, sneaking about but then ya get caughtbook! Guiltbook, Shamebook, not ya real Namebook, in ya photos ya gorgeous but really yr a Mongbook! Prankbook, Skankbook what a fuckin Crankbook. Its gettin pretty scary cos its turning into Wankbook! Textbook, Sexbook, spying on your Exbook, someone 'likes' a photo and ya turn into a Pestbook! Scrapbook, Papbook catch the fuckin Clapbook, grab ya shitty iphone and add the shitty Appbook. Shitebook, Strifebook get a fucking Lifebook! Watch it if ya married cos they'll nick ya fuckin Wifebook! Creepbook, Peepbook when ya take a Leakbook! Yal even be Facebooking in ya fuckin Sleepbook!"

-Nurse East, blowing a gasket.

Holy shit. Quote of the fucking decade.

[Richter]

I've read it 5 times, and giggle about something else each time.  She WROTE a satirical Escher painting.

[Eater of Clowns]

It's astoundingly Carlin-esque.

[Pæs]

"Facebook, Slagbook, meet just to Shagbook, sneaking about but then ya get caughtbook! Guiltbook, Shamebook, not ya real Namebook, in ya photos ya gorgeous but really yr a Mongbook! Prankbook, Skankbook what a fuckin Crankbook. Its gettin pretty scary cos its turning into Wankbook! Textbook, Sexbook, spying on your Exbook, someone 'likes' a photo and ya turn into a Pestbook! Scrapbook, Papbook catch the fuckin Clapbook, grab ya shitty iphone and add the shitty Appbook. Shitebook, Strifebook get a fucking Lifebook! Watch it if ya married cos they'll nick ya fuckin Wifebook! Creepbook, Peepbook when ya take a Leakbook! Yal even be Facebooking in ya fuckin Sleepbook!"

-Nurse East, blowing a gasket.

Holy shit. Quote of the fucking decade.

[Cramulus]

"Facebook, Slagbook, meet just to Shagbook, sneaking about but then ya get caughtbook! Guiltbook, Shamebook, not ya real Namebook, in ya photos ya gorgeous but really yr a Mongbook! Prankbook, Skankbook what a fuckin Crankbook. Its gettin pretty scary cos its turning into Wankbook! Textbook, Sexbook, spying on your Exbook, someone 'likes' a photo and ya turn into a Pestbook! Scrapbook, Papbook catch the fuckin Clapbook, grab ya shitty iphone and add the shitty Appbook. Shitebook, Strifebook get a fucking Lifebook! Watch it if ya married cos they'll nick ya fuckin Wifebook! Creepbook, Peepbook when ya take a Leakbook! Yal even be Facebooking in ya fuckin Sleepbook!"

-Nurse East, blowing a gasket.

Awesome - who is this Nurse East? wanna repost that

[Suu]

"Facebook, Slagbook, meet just to Shagbook, sneaking about but then ya get caughtbook! Guiltbook, Shamebook, not ya real Namebook, in ya photos ya gorgeous but really yr a Mongbook! Prankbook, Skankbook what a fuckin Crankbook. Its gettin pretty scary cos its turning into Wankbook! Textbook, Sexbook, spying on your Exbook, someone 'likes' a photo and ya turn into a Pestbook! Scrapbook, Papbook catch the fuckin Clapbook, grab ya shitty iphone and add the shitty Appbook. Shitebook, Strifebook get a fucking Lifebook! Watch it if ya married cos they'll nick ya fuckin Wifebook! Creepbook, Peepbook when ya take a Leakbook! Yal even be Facebooking in ya fuckin Sleepbook!"

-Nurse East, blowing a gasket.

She is fucking awesome.

Why is she being replaced in the monastery by Queen Vapid and her cats, again?