Quotes of the Moment II

[Suu]

Nurse East: (About the cat climbing up my pants): That cat is nuts.

Richter: Without these cats, I would never hve reason to scream, "No, not my ass" at 7:30 AM.

Nurse East:  I don;t know if I should say poor you or poor cats.

Richter: this is MY ass we're talking about.

Which cat? Rin? She's saying, "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE, UNCLE RICHTER! PLEASE!"

[Suu]

Mom: Your sister just reminded me that she's turning 24 next month.

Me: Well yeah, I knew that. I'm turning 30 in August, you know.

Mom: Yeah, but I know you're old. You were born old, I'm just having a hard time grasping that my baby is turning 24.

Me: Thank you for making me feel ancient.

Mom: Oh, it's just getting started!

Me: YOU'RE TURNING 50!!

Mom: A 50 year old who can still party with her kids, who are all old enough to buy her booze and appreciate good music, that's what. Oh, and thankfully not a grandmother, yet. I'm too fucking young for that shit.

Me: 

Mom: It'll make more sense in 20 years.

[BadBeast]

I was walking past a Charity shop earlier today, and something caught my eye. So I went in, and found this  golden apple on a shelf by the window. "Sweet" I thought. Looked at the price, and it was only £1.50.
So I picked it up, and went to the cash desk to buy it.  



There's this old woman in front of me, buying about twenty woollen hats for her rabble of Grandchildren at Christmas. And she's going "And this one's for our Danny, because he's got a scarf that colour, the green one's for our Sheila's oldest, Zacky, he's got a big fat head . . . . .  " and just went rattling on and on. The Woman serving her was even older. She must have been about 160 yrs old, and was having Tech issues with the Till. "I can't remember what I pressed now Dais," She said.

Then she started adding up the figures on paper and like, I'm in a hurry. But I'm nothing if not the very epitome of helpful patience, so I stopped glowering at the back of the first old bag's head, and asked the technically challenged Cashier if maybe giving the Till "A bit of a Bang" with something heavy might help.

Oooh, no" She said. "I shul prolly get saack if I starts banging sruff about, . .   . . . Again".    She laughed. The good natured, but slightly cracked laugh of a far younger Woman  
"S OK moi Luvver, nurly done"
So I smile at her, but my mind is screaming "Get a fucking move on you useless old Cow".
She took the Apple, and said "Sorry to keep you waitin' love, but but Daisy dún't half go on"

"Don't bother yourself" I said.  "It's not like I'm in a hurry or anything" I lied.
"It's a bit scratched on the bottom there" she pointed out a tiny fleck of of that had come off.gilding. "Doesn't matter" I said. "Whenever I see a Golden Apple, I just have to buy it".
She cocked her wizened head to the side for a second, and said "Oh, I understand, I'm just the same myself."                                  Then she gave me my change, and handed me the bag,

with the Apple in it. And here's the bit that  totally blew me away.
As she handed it over, she leaned in close and said "Hail Eris"
My jaw hit yhe floor.But I managed a quick "All Hail Discordiq"  response in as I  left.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Holy shit.

[Phox]

 

[Telarus]

Brilliant. You should drop off some PosterGASM material anonymously.

[BadBeast]

I was thinking maybe spiking some of their second hand books with some gummed flyleaf "Ex Libris" stickers with something appropriate
on them. They (for some reason IDK )have always) sold loads of Knitting patterns. So I thought of perhaps slipping some bogus "Chaos patterns" in the folders, with Markoff chainsticthes, or Practical String Theory for Brother Knitting machines.
   
One night, about ten years ago, someone left a big sack of almost dried out but not quite dry Starfish outside the shop, as a donation.
(Although what the fuck whoever it was thought they were going to do with 400 stinky Starfish still eludes me)

Anyway, we distributed them all around the Town centre, Mad Fishonger style. Outside shops, in the Bus stops,  Phone boxes, Cashpoint Machines, gathered around drain covers, pushed a couple through the Police Station letterbox, in the Pie shop window, outside the Cinema, all over the place. By the time the sun came up, the Town had been invaded by dead Starfish. And by 10am, it stank. People were finding them everywhere too. On their car roofs, in the Town Fountain,  Hotel & Bank Lobbys. But yeah, that was the same shop.  Last year, they were the first shop to infect Town with Vuvuzelas too. 2012 seems to be odds on for being an 'Escalation' year. Must bet time to ramp up the ante.

[Triple Zero]

I was walking past a Charity shop earlier today, and something caught my eye. So I went in, and found this  golden apple on a shelf by the window. "Sweet" I thought. Looked at the price, and it was only £1.50.
So I picked it up, and went to the cash desk to buy it.  



There's this old woman in front of me, buying about twenty woollen hats for her rabble of Grandchildren at Christmas. And she's going "And this one's for our Danny, because he's got a scarf that colour, the green one's for our Sheila's oldest, Zacky, he's got a big fat head . . . . .  " and just went rattling on and on. The Woman serving her was even older. She must have been about 160 yrs old, and was having Tech issues with the Till. "I can't remember what I pressed now Dais," She said.

Then she started adding up the figures on paper and like, I'm in a hurry. But I'm nothing if not the very epitome of helpful patience, so I stopped glowering at the back of the first old bag's head, and asked the technically challenged Cashier if maybe giving the Till "A bit of a Bang" with something heavy might help.

Oooh, no" She said. "I shul prolly get saack if I starts banging sruff about, . .   . . . Again".    She laughed. The good natured, but slightly cracked laugh of a far younger Woman  
"S OK moi Luvver, nurly done"
So I smile at her, but my mind is screaming "Get a fucking move on you useless old Cow".
She took the Apple, and said "Sorry to keep you waitin' love, but but Daisy dún't half go on"

"Don't bother yourself" I said.  "It's not like I'm in a hurry or anything" I lied.
"It's a bit scratched on the bottom there" she pointed out a tiny fleck of of that had come off.gilding. "Doesn't matter" I said. "Whenever I see a Golden Apple, I just have to buy it".
She cocked her wizened head to the side for a second, and said "Oh, I understand, I'm just the same myself."                                  Then she gave me my change, and handed me the bag,

with the Apple in it. And here's the bit that  totally blew me away.
As she handed it over, she leaned in close and said "Hail Eris"
My jaw hit yhe floor.But I managed a quick "All Hail Discordiq"  response in as I  left.

Wow.

[Cain]

You're in Bournemouth, right?  I might have to visit that shop when I'm back down in Dorset sometime, and drop a few references and see what happens.

[BadBeast]

You're in Bournemouth, right?  I might have to visit that shop when I'm back down in Dorset sometime, and drop a few references and see what happens.

No, not Bournemouth, Devizes. Dorothy House Charity shop. in the Old Swanyard.

[Cain]

Oh, that is admittedly a little more out of my way.  Still, I probably wont be down for a few months anyway.

[Juana]

Very fucking cool, BB.

[BadBeast]

Very fucking cool, BB.

I thought so. I couldn't have been more surprised if Eris herself had jumped up and served me. (Which, I suppose in a way, she did)

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That's awesome!

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

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