Quotes of the Moment II

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

My 13-year-old son is more mature and capable than most adults I know.

But then, he was kind of born a 30-year-old lawyer.

He thinks I'm silly. 

I kind of love serious sensible teenagers.

Yes, it's pretty great. Also he's really nice to me because he thinks I'm slightly simple.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Guy on typically mind numbing, spirit crushing gameshow that's on teevee in the background when asked what a pair of crossed swords on an OS map represents.

"A Jousting arena"

What is an OS map, and what do the swords mean?

Is this something I ought to know about?

Are you from an alternate universe?

OS = Ordnance Survey, the UK's official civil service mapping department.. Based in Southampton, actually.

I have no idea what the crossed swords are. I suspect it's old battle sites.

Yes, they represent battlefields.  And the Battle of Aylesbury.

Ah, thank you!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

"I would like to pay tribute to those who buggered off when Rome burned, who
ran away from the Huns, who played lame during the Crusades, who gave lip
service to the Church during the Inquisition, who stole the fare to be the
first on the expatriate ships to America, and who survived long enough to
get a load of pussy and make me possible, telling you this today."

- Alliekat, CotSG

[tyrannosaurus vex]

An exchange a few minutes ago on Facebook, between myself [normal text] and my token Dominican ladyfriend [italicized], concerning the cover photo of Twid's Facebook profile:

Dude
Look at your friends cover photo
Lmfao
Lmfao Lmfao

yeah he's a fucking bad ass
so what

Look at the ppl in the cover photo
Lmfao Lmfao Lmfao

yeah, and? every single one of those bad motherfuckers will legitimately fuck your shit sideways sixteen times before breakfast, and ask for a refund.

They would fuck me?

yeah, AND you'd be so goddamn pregnant by the time they were done, you'd have to leave in a fucking clown car.
I mean look at that woman in the middle. Just look at that fucking "come get some baby" glare in her eyes. She knows you have nothing to bring to a fight. She'd blow two holes right through you before you ever walked through the door. Shit.

That motherfucker on the right looks almost SURPRISED by the sheer volume of mindblowing fucked you'd be if you started some shit with them.

I'm not scared of them
That's like, my favorite picture
I want to be their friend

You want to be their friend? Yeah? You ain't got D20s big enough.

Idk Wtf is.d20

These fuckers can roll a D20 like yo mama rolls over for the mailman. It's nothing to them. They don't fucking fuck around. They'd take one look at your Level 45 Mage and then drop a god damn boulder out of nowhere on that wussy birthday magician. Because you'd never Save Vs. These Fuckers. There ain't enough sides on a D20 to count that high.

sorry, D&D reference. D20 is a 20-sided die.

Omg omg omg
You NERF
NERD

[Nephew Twiddleton]

An exchange a few minutes ago on Facebook, between myself [normal text] and my token Dominican ladyfriend [italicized], concerning the cover photo of Twid's Facebook profile:

Dude
Look at your friends cover photo
Lmfao
Lmfao Lmfao

yeah he's a fucking bad ass
so what

Look at the ppl in the cover photo
Lmfao Lmfao Lmfao

yeah, and? every single one of those bad motherfuckers will legitimately fuck your shit sideways sixteen times before breakfast, and ask for a refund.

They would fuck me?

yeah, AND you'd be so goddamn pregnant by the time they were done, you'd have to leave in a fucking clown car.
I mean look at that woman in the middle. Just look at that fucking "come get some baby" glare in her eyes. She knows you have nothing to bring to a fight. She'd blow two holes right through you before you ever walked through the door. Shit.

That motherfucker on the right looks almost SURPRISED by the sheer volume of mindblowing fucked you'd be if you started some shit with them.

I'm not scared of them
That's like, my favorite picture
I want to be their friend

You want to be their friend? Yeah? You ain't got D20s big enough.

Idk Wtf is.d20

These fuckers can roll a D20 like yo mama rolls over for the mailman. It's nothing to them. They don't fucking fuck around. They'd take one look at your Level 45 Mage and then drop a god damn boulder out of nowhere on that wussy birthday magician. Because you'd never Save Vs. These Fuckers. There ain't enough sides on a D20 to count that high.

sorry, D&D reference. D20 is a 20-sided die.

Omg omg omg
You NERF
NERD

Hi five dude

[Don Coyote]

An exchange a few minutes ago on Facebook, between myself [normal text] and my token Dominican ladyfriend [italicized], concerning the cover photo of Twid's Facebook profile:

Dude
Look at your friends cover photo
Lmfao
Lmfao Lmfao

yeah he's a fucking bad ass
so what

Look at the ppl in the cover photo
Lmfao Lmfao Lmfao

yeah, and? every single one of those bad motherfuckers will legitimately fuck your shit sideways sixteen times before breakfast, and ask for a refund.

They would fuck me?

yeah, AND you'd be so goddamn pregnant by the time they were done, you'd have to leave in a fucking clown car.
I mean look at that woman in the middle. Just look at that fucking "come get some baby" glare in her eyes. She knows you have nothing to bring to a fight. She'd blow two holes right through you before you ever walked through the door. Shit.

That motherfucker on the right looks almost SURPRISED by the sheer volume of mindblowing fucked you'd be if you started some shit with them.

I'm not scared of them
That's like, my favorite picture
I want to be their friend

You want to be their friend? Yeah? You ain't got D20s big enough.

Idk Wtf is.d20

These fuckers can roll a D20 like yo mama rolls over for the mailman. It's nothing to them. They don't fucking fuck around. They'd take one look at your Level 45 Mage and then drop a god damn boulder out of nowhere on that wussy birthday magician. Because you'd never Save Vs. These Fuckers. There ain't enough sides on a D20 to count that high.

sorry, D&D reference. D20 is a 20-sided die.

Omg omg omg
You NERF
NERD

Hi five dude

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Where do hippies get their adorably wrong ideas from? No seriously, because this one is pretty fucking stupid, even for a hippie:

Yea right!! After 100 years with UN promoting and allowing World to spray highly toxic chemicals upon all the insect Kingdoms, with only a few substance outlawed, now sold for WARFARE ingredients for making chemical bombs.

TRUE PEACE will reign upon Earth when UN and all Governments preach vegetarianism and not The Protein Theory.

Crime, wars - Hardness of Heart, derives from slaughtering eating the flesh of animals. period. We are a species evolving intelligence for? Meat? Bugs?

i always know what's on my table!  it's always a fresh ripe ORGANIC harvest! And it's for, Heart!!

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/u-n-encourages-people-eat-more-insects-004159870.html?bcmt=1368559452317-fa699b82-e51c-499b-8ae4-41d4736a17e1_00004b000000000000000000000000-46b74069-6715-4bfb-b791-ce88004d52c9&bcmt_s=u#mediacommentsugc_container

[Cain]

It's pretty impressive that the UN has been promoting highly toxic chemicals for 100 years when it was founded in 1945.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

It's pretty impressive that the UN has been promoting highly toxic chemicals for 100 years when it was founded in 1945.

Time travel's a bitch.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Where do hippies get their adorably wrong ideas from? No seriously, because this one is pretty fucking stupid, even for a hippie:

Yea right!! After 100 years with UN promoting and allowing World to spray highly toxic chemicals upon all the insect Kingdoms, with only a few substance outlawed, now sold for WARFARE ingredients for making chemical bombs.

TRUE PEACE will reign upon Earth when UN and all Governments preach vegetarianism and not The Protein Theory.

Crime, wars - Hardness of Heart, derives from slaughtering eating the flesh of animals. period. We are a species evolving intelligence for? Meat? Bugs?

i always know what's on my table!  it's always a fresh ripe ORGANIC harvest! And it's for, Heart!!

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/u-n-encourages-people-eat-more-insects-004159870.html?bcmt=1368559452317-fa699b82-e51c-499b-8ae4-41d4736a17e1_00004b000000000000000000000000-46b74069-6715-4bfb-b791-ce88004d52c9&bcmt_s=u#mediacommentsugc_container

One of my theories is that they're all from an alternate universe where that shit is actually true.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Where do hippies get their adorably wrong ideas from? No seriously, because this one is pretty fucking stupid, even for a hippie:

Yea right!! After 100 years with UN promoting and allowing World to spray highly toxic chemicals upon all the insect Kingdoms, with only a few substance outlawed, now sold for WARFARE ingredients for making chemical bombs.

TRUE PEACE will reign upon Earth when UN and all Governments preach vegetarianism and not The Protein Theory.

Crime, wars - Hardness of Heart, derives from slaughtering eating the flesh of animals. period. We are a species evolving intelligence for? Meat? Bugs?

i always know what's on my table!  it's always a fresh ripe ORGANIC harvest! And it's for, Heart!!

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/u-n-encourages-people-eat-more-insects-004159870.html?bcmt=1368559452317-fa699b82-e51c-499b-8ae4-41d4736a17e1_00004b000000000000000000000000-46b74069-6715-4bfb-b791-ce88004d52c9&bcmt_s=u#mediacommentsugc_container

One of my theories is that they're all from an alternate universe where that shit is actually true.

That... that has a lot of entertainment potential right there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Where do hippies get their adorably wrong ideas from? No seriously, because this one is pretty fucking stupid, even for a hippie:

Yea right!! After 100 years with UN promoting and allowing World to spray highly toxic chemicals upon all the insect Kingdoms, with only a few substance outlawed, now sold for WARFARE ingredients for making chemical bombs.

TRUE PEACE will reign upon Earth when UN and all Governments preach vegetarianism and not The Protein Theory.

Crime, wars - Hardness of Heart, derives from slaughtering eating the flesh of animals. period. We are a species evolving intelligence for? Meat? Bugs?

i always know what's on my table!  it's always a fresh ripe ORGANIC harvest! And it's for, Heart!!

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/u-n-encourages-people-eat-more-insects-004159870.html?bcmt=1368559452317-fa699b82-e51c-499b-8ae4-41d4736a17e1_00004b000000000000000000000000-46b74069-6715-4bfb-b791-ce88004d52c9&bcmt_s=u#mediacommentsugc_container

One of my theories is that they're all from an alternate universe where that shit is actually true.

That... that has a lot of entertainment potential right there.

Ooooh, you're right...

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Where do hippies get their adorably wrong ideas from? No seriously, because this one is pretty fucking stupid, even for a hippie:

Yea right!! After 100 years with UN promoting and allowing World to spray highly toxic chemicals upon all the insect Kingdoms, with only a few substance outlawed, now sold for WARFARE ingredients for making chemical bombs.

TRUE PEACE will reign upon Earth when UN and all Governments preach vegetarianism and not The Protein Theory.

Crime, wars - Hardness of Heart, derives from slaughtering eating the flesh of animals. period. We are a species evolving intelligence for? Meat? Bugs?

i always know what's on my table!  it's always a fresh ripe ORGANIC harvest! And it's for, Heart!!

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/u-n-encourages-people-eat-more-insects-004159870.html?bcmt=1368559452317-fa699b82-e51c-499b-8ae4-41d4736a17e1_00004b000000000000000000000000-46b74069-6715-4bfb-b791-ce88004d52c9&bcmt_s=u#mediacommentsugc_container

One of my theories is that they're all from an alternate universe where that shit is actually true.

That... that has a lot of entertainment potential right there.

Ooooh, you're right...

Happy, trolly, accidents. 

[Telarus]

 

[Salty]

It's pretty impressive that the UN has been promoting highly toxic chemicals for 100 years when it was founded in 1945.