Difficult Choices: On the Tip of your Tongue

[Salty]

Plus most roads are driven over all day long at varying speeds, can't be as much disgusting bacteria as is contained in the mouth.

[Chairman Risus]

I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.

How are you so certain you're first in line for the tire?

[East Coast Hustle]

I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.

What if you're not the first person to lick the tire?

[Triple Zero]

I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.

What if somebody else licked the tire first?

[Salty]

I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.

How do you kno-HEY!

Even if someone else licked the tire it won't be infused with the ick like the gum. Every tiny fragment of that gum, the deep bowels and recesses will have monkey spit inside it. Mouth goop would last maybe MAYBE 1/4 of the tire.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Whenever I'd decide I was done with my gum when I was about 7 years old, I'd add it to the ball of all the other gum I already chewed and left it on a shelf in my closet.

When these amalgamations got big enough I'd chew the whole thing until it lost it's flavor. So I figure gum probably is a bit inhospitable to things growing on it or in it, because I didn't get ill from doing this.

Also, I bet it would take longer than 15 minutes to lick the entire surface of a tire. Think about all the engine oil, coolant, and anti-freeze that tires roll over.

[Chairman Risus]

I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.

What if you're not the first person to lick the tire?

I chose the tire. When it comes to something that spent time in a random human mouth vs ANYTHING ELSE Ill go with the latter. Humans are disgusting from end to end.

What if somebody else licked the tire first?

[Salty]

Whenever I'd decide I was done with my gum when I was about 7 years old, I'd add it to the ball of all the other gum I already chewed and left it on a shelf in my closet.

When these amalgamations got big enough I'd chew the whole thing until it lost it's flavor. So I figure gum probably is a bit inhospitable to things growing on it or in it, because I didn't get ill from doing this.

Also, I bet it would take longer than 15 minutes to lick the entire surface of a tire. Think about all the engine oil, coolant, and anti-freeze that tires roll over.

Yeah but you probably weren't in danger of giving yourself herpaghonasypilaids.

Maybe I'm overly paranoid on this subject but I'd rather get chemical poisoning than human poisoning. One might kill me quick but the other will reduce my quality of life over a long period. WHAT ABOUT THE HERP? I FEAR THE HERP.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Whenever I'd decide I was done with my gum when I was about 7 years old, I'd add it to the ball of all the other gum I already chewed and left it on a shelf in my closet.

When these amalgamations got big enough I'd chew the whole thing until it lost it's flavor. So I figure gum probably is a bit inhospitable to things growing on it or in it, because I didn't get ill from doing this.

Also, I bet it would take longer than 15 minutes to lick the entire surface of a tire. Think about all the engine oil, coolant, and anti-freeze that tires roll over.

Yeah but you probably weren't in danger of giving yourself herpaghonasypilaids.

Maybe I'm overly paranoid on this subject but I'd rather get chemical poisoning than human poisoning. One might kill me quick but the other will reduce my quality of life over a long period. WHAT ABOUT THE HERP? I FEAR THE HERP.

Animals shit, bleed, and die on the road with more regularity than on sidewalks.

I think it may be the car tires that are doing this.

[Cramulus]

Do you think that a tire picks up a lot of bacteria when it's moving?

Do you think the heat of driving a car in the summer would warm the tire enough to kill much bacteria?


with the gum, on the plus side, you're getting all the bacteria in the first 10 seconds, the rest of the time is just spent chewing that disgusting hairy blob


I think I'm leaning towards the tire because after about 10 seconds of licking, my tongue would feel like a piece of dry leather and I wouldn't moisten it again until I was done. Then I'd rinse my mouth out with Listerine, water, scotch, in that order.

[LMNO]

Can I chew the gum while drinking whiskey?

[Cramulus]

   I'll allow it.
             \

[Rumckle]

Yup, I'm with Alty and Cram on this one.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Do you think that a tire picks up a lot of bacteria when it's moving?

Do you think the heat of driving a car in the summer would warm the tire enough to kill much bacteria?

Maybe you get a tire that hasn't been driven around for days and is situated near a gutter full of horse poop, squirrel guts, and opossum rabies.

I think I'm leaning towards the tire because after about 10 seconds of licking, my tongue would feel like a piece of dry leather and I wouldn't moisten it again until I was done. Then I'd rinse my mouth out with Listerine, water, scotch, in that order.

And that's your best case scenario: leather-tongued and free of disease.

I might luck out and get some gum that is still delicious AND lacking in disease.


YOU FOOLS!
  \

[Salty]

So you walk into work, home, your bar/pub afterwards and say: I licled a tire yesterday and got rabies!
Or
I picked up and chewed a piece of gum and now I have herpes!

Which one is cooler? Yeah. That's right.

Alty,
a social animal.

Though mixing whiskey with the gum changes things. Can I pour whiskey all over the tire?