Help me finish this leaflett

[Cuddlefish]

Are you tired? Restless? Uneasy?  Bored? Do you have manic episodes (extreme "highs") immediately followed by periods of depression (extreme "lows")?  Are you unable to relate to those around you? Maybe even your own friends and family?

If the answer to any of the above questions is "yes," then you may be suffering from a known disorder called B.I.P. Syndrome. Most people that suffer the above symptoms aren't aware of the existence of BIPS, but they'd be surprised to hear that over one in five people suffer from BIPS. And some say that figure is optimistic.

Don't worry, though. There's good news. BIPS research has been a relatively active field for nearly the past fifty years. In this time, clinical psychologists, psychotherapists, and other experimental scientists have developed a non-invasive system, that requires NO medication, that can alleviate your BIPS symptoms! This miraculous system is known as the "Erisian Method." The Erisian Method teaches the patient to safely recover from their BIPS symptoms through the active "rewiring" of their existing thought patterns, allowing recovery from BIPS without the need for surgery or medication. This is the real science that drug companies don't want you to hear . The leading group of BIPS researchers, Gold and Apfel and Assoc., made these comments at a recent BIPS awareness convention:

   "This isn't holistic nonsense, or voodoo mumbo-jumbo. The Erisian Method is hard science that can quickly and safely cure symptoms of B.I. P. syndrome."

                                                                                                              Rev. Dr. Roger Howl.

   "Look. It's simple. We know what causes it, so we can counter it. And we do that with the Erisian Method."

                                                                                                              L.M.N.O. Phd.

   "I was there when we figured it out. I was amazed by it's simplicity. Once I saw the Erisian Method, there on paper, well... I just couldn't
    stop laughing."

                                                                                                           Prof. P. Cramulous

If you're one in five, you're probably now wondering if you might have BIPS, and if the Erisian Method is right for you. Well, because it requires no medication or expensive surgeries, you don't need a doctors referral to try the Erisian Method. That said, depending on whether or not you are on certain other medications, the Erisian Method may not be for you, and you are encouraged to talk to your doctor before trying the Erisian Method.  Certain side-effects are: dizziness, nausea, paranoia, irrational decision making, the sense that you're "being trolled" and delusions of grandeur. Remember, there is no cure for BIPS, but there is a cure for your BIPS symptoms.

Look, there's no hope.

There's better: a way through your personal experience with BIPS. For more information on B. I. P. syndrome and/or the Erisian Method,  please visit us at (website)

What's left to do: Fix wording. Brainstorm layout/pictures. Figure where to link them to. Feedback?

[Triple Zero]

the part about "being trolled" probably tips your hand, especially for those savvy enough to be the target audience.

[Cuddlefish]

While you are probably right, Ziptits, I think I should probably explain the intended purpose of the leaflet. The student health department at my school blindly reproduces any flyers on their table (I know this, because they ran hundreds of copies of my swine flu flyer after I left a small stack on their table). That said, the intended purpose of this leaflet is to get the spags at the student health dept. to do my dirty work and reproduce and distribute these things.

I figured if anyone read that far down, they'd realize by then that it's a joke. But, now that you say that, it probably should be removed/replaced.

Also, my original intent was to put a link to the BIP in the area that said (website), but I was hoping maybe someone had a better idea.

[Triple Zero]

Yeah, a few years ago it might have been fine and they'd just read over it, but the concept of "trolling" got quite a bit of attention recently, and dull and boring people may even get it and dump it, possibly.

[Cuddlefish]

Ok, so we can axe that part.

Any ideas on a website? Or is sending them to the BIP sufficient?

[Telarus]

Use a QR code instead of a text-link.

Also replace the "troll" portion with:

dizziness, nausea, paranoia(moved), irrational decision making, the sense that you're "being trolled" paranoia (the sense that the universe conspires against you), pronoia (the sense that the universe conspires to help you) and delusions of grandeur.

[Cuddlefish]

Use a QR code instead of a text-link.

Also replace the "troll" portion with:

dizziness, nausea, paranoia(moved), irrational decision making, the sense that you're "being trolled" paranoia (the sense that the universe conspires against you), pronoia (the sense that the universe conspires to help you) and delusions of grandeur.

Like it. Though, there's no reason why I can't include both, a text-link and a QR code, ya?

[Cuddlefish]

Heh, a quick image search for "headache" gave me more than I need for pics.

[Cuddlefish]

Ah, crap. Totally forgot.

What should the headline say?

[Elder Iptuous]

Nice.  i like it.

the "Look, there's no hope."  kind of sticks out to me, though. 
what are you trying to do with that bit?

[Cuddlefish]

Nice.  i like it.

the "Look, there's no hope."  kind of sticks out to me, though. 
what are you trying to do with that bit?

"Look, there's no hope.

There's better..."

I'm trying to imply hope is a silly thing to have when you actually have something that can get the job done, and I think the current wording is kind of funny. Perhaps if there wasn't a break seperating the statement it would read better?

[Elder Iptuous]

oh, duh. reading comprehension fail on my part.
but i think eliminating the break would improve it.

[Cuddlefish]

i think eliminating the break would improve it.

And so it shall be done.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Ah, crap. Totally forgot.

What should the headline say?

What do the headlines say on real health leaflets at your school?

[Triple Zero]

GOT ILLNESS?