Nigels's stupid dating story thread

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You could tell him that his friends is are wrong and a douchebag.

Freeky,
Ruining people's swanky hat parties since 1987


Edit for plural

Nah, I was nice about it. I think he's just actually so disconnected that the fact that I was an actual participant in the date escaped him.

I um. Am not really sure how to reply to this.

It seems like regardless of what's written in "The Rules" or whatever, the best thing to do is just pay attention to the other person and feel out (or even ask) what they want. There is no formula by which the ebb and flow of attraction can be calculated.

Oddly, although we connected pretty well the first two times we hung out, I didn't feel like we were connecting at all the last time, which I attributed to your having had an off night. It wouldn't have been a good time to initiate anything.

I must tell you that I would still like to get to know you, but I am skeptical of it leading anywhere but friendship, and am more than ever convinced that if I am to find partnership in my life it must be with someone who also has children.

Happy Yule... I have a big dinner to prepare today. I hope your holidays, if you celebrate any, are good.

-Nigel

[Nast]

Oh dear, he seemed nice at first but the "I guess I was supposed to sex you up before, can I sex you up now?" comment was awful.

I think your reply was perfect.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks!

I was starting to pick up a clue that he might be totally socially retarded/possibly super self-absorbed when he waited a week to respond to my last email and then said "Is it soon yet?". It just struck me as an odd reaction to being told I was busy.

Also, I get the impression that he was already viewing Tuesday as "Date night", which partially makes sense because I had said that Tuesdays are a good night for me, but also so are Sunday and Monday, and three dates in is awfully soon to already be making assumptions about the other person's availability.

Of course, three dates in is also awfully soon to pull the "I'm broke, can we just watch a movie at my place" line, too. I should have picked up on that.

[Freeky]

The whole "Is it soon yet?"  Strikes me as a sort of tryingto-be-funny-while-initiating-conversation-again-in-a-row sort of thing, because that's a thing I might say, and only mean it because I'd been waiting for the other guy to initate conversation, but it's been a week and I DO like the guy who might have just forgot to text back, but feel awkward about not waiting until I've been spoken to first sort of thing.

It's a big indicator of social ineptitude, and probably low self esteem, and I'm probably way biased, but that's how I see it, and I'm just giving another view on it.

Also, you'd probably break the poor thing. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The whole "Is it soon yet?"  Strikes me as a sort of tryingto-be-funny-while-initiating-conversation-again-in-a-row sort of thing, because that's a thing I might say, and only mean it because I'd been waiting for the other guy to initate conversation, but it's been a week and I DO like the guy who might have just forgot to text back, but feel awkward about not waiting until I've been spoken to first sort of thing.

It's a big indicator of social ineptitude, and probably low self esteem, and I'm probably way biased, but that's how I see it, and I'm just giving another view on it.

Also, you'd probably break the poor thing. 

Except that I was the last person to email before that, and I ended my email with "talk to you soon!".

Since I was the last person to email, and I implied (I think?) that I would like to talk to him soon, it seemed like it was his move.

Maybe that was too subtle for him. 

[Sita]

The whole "Is it soon yet?"  Strikes me as a sort of tryingto-be-funny-while-initiating-conversation-again-in-a-row sort of thing, because that's a thing I might say, and only mean it because I'd been waiting for the other guy to initate conversation, but it's been a week and I DO like the guy who might have just forgot to text back, but feel awkward about not waiting until I've been spoken to first sort of thing.

It's a big indicator of social ineptitude, and probably low self esteem, and I'm probably way biased, but that's how I see it, and I'm just giving another view on it.

Also, you'd probably break the poor thing. 

Except that I was the last person to email before that, and I ended my email with "talk to you soon!".

Since I was the last person to email, and I implied (I think?) that I would like to talk to him soon, it seemed like it was his move.

Maybe that was too subtle for him. 

Speaking as a socially inept person, that to me indicated that you would be sending a message again when you weren't busy. Which makes sense to me with his asking if it was soon yet, since he didn't know if you were still busy or not. I probably would have done similar.

[Freeky]

The whole "Is it soon yet?"  Strikes me as a sort of tryingto-be-funny-while-initiating-conversation-again-in-a-row sort of thing, because that's a thing I might say, and only mean it because I'd been waiting for the other guy to initate conversation, but it's been a week and I DO like the guy who might have just forgot to text back, but feel awkward about not waiting until I've been spoken to first sort of thing.

It's a big indicator of social ineptitude, and probably low self esteem, and I'm probably way biased, but that's how I see it, and I'm just giving another view on it.

Also, you'd probably break the poor thing. 

Except that I was the last person to email before that, and I ended my email with "talk to you soon!".

Since I was the last person to email, and I implied (I think?) that I would like to talk to him soon, it seemed like it was his move.

Maybe that was too subtle for him. 

It may have been, he may have taken "talk to you soon" as "I'll message you back when I'm not busy" whereupon he thought "so I'd better STFU until then" and proceeded in the way he did.

Thinking about it, and keep in mind that this is just my interpretation, the whole "Hey, my friends say I ought to have sexed you up, so next time I guess I'll do that" seems more like he was sharing with you the hilarity that spewed forth from his friends mouth, because that is the way I would have phrased it.  I do that with other things now, and most of the time people don't understand that I am making a humorous statement and taking the piss.  Its a subtelty all of its own, which doesn't mean that he will pick up on your subtelty.

Even if I'm misinterpreting stuff here, look at it this way:  At least he isn't obsessively texting you and making long term plans (or maybe he did and I got confused), right?  

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Maybe that is how he took it. The only odd thing about him assuming that I was still busy is that the "busy was that I specifically told him that I was hanging out that evening with my friend because she was about to go to Mexico, which kind of implies that I would no longer be hanging out with said friend after that evening.

Also, it would be normal (am I wrong?) to acknowledge that email in some way, such as "OK, have fun with your friend!". I actually kind of think that either of you would have picked up on that even if you don't think you would have. It is incredibly instinctive to do a back-and-forth, and not answering me left the ball in his court... which it was why it seemed weird when he finally did reply a week later with "is it soon yet?"

I can totally see the attempt at humor, but it makes no sense in the context of me having been the last person to write.

Anyway, that's all minutiae... tiny details that made me feel things were a bit off, compounding my negative reaction of his offer to "sex me up".

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Maybe that is how he took it. The only odd thing about him assuming that I was still busy is that the "busy was that I specifically told him that I was hanging out that evening with my friend because she was about to go to Mexico, which kind of implies that I would no longer be hanging out with said friend after that evening.

Also, it would be normal (am I wrong?) to acknowledge that email in some way, such as "OK, have fun with your friend!". I actually kind of think that either of you would have picked up on that even if you don't think you would have. It is incredibly instinctive to do a back-and-forth, and not answering me left the ball in his court... which it was why it seemed weird when he finally did reply a week later with "is it soon yet?"

I can totally see the attempt at humor, but it makes no sense in the context of me having been the last person to write.

Anyway, that's all minutiae... tiny details that made me feel things were a bit off, compounding my negative reaction of his offer to "sex me up".

SORRY, MY KNOWLEDGE OF DATING PROTOCOL IS VERY NARROW.  I DID NOT REALIZE I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU ON DATE #3.  YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.  LET'S MEET ON SATURDAY AND I WILL SEX YOU TWICE.  I NEED YOU TO BRING YOUR OWN ROOFIES, THOUGH, AS I AM DEAD BROKE.

KTHXBAI

[Freeky]

Maybe that is how he took it. The only odd thing about him assuming that I was still busy is that the "busy was that I specifically told him that I was hanging out that evening with my friend because she was about to go to Mexico, which kind of implies that I would no longer be hanging out with said friend after that evening.

Also, it would be normal (am I wrong?) to acknowledge that email in some way, such as "OK, have fun with your friend!". I actually kind of think that either of you would have picked up on that even if you don't think you would have. It is incredibly instinctive to do a back-and-forth, and not answering me left the ball in his court... which it was why it seemed weird when he finally did reply a week later with "is it soon yet?"

I can totally see the attempt at humor, but it makes no sense in the context of me having been the last person to write.

Anyway, that's all minutiae... tiny details that made me feel things were a bit off, compounding my negative reaction of his offer to "sex me up".

In the context of the possible-joke (which fell flat), it is merely part of the joke.

I'm not saying that things aren't off there, and yeah it's all minutiae.  

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Maybe that is how he took it. The only odd thing about him assuming that I was still busy is that the "busy was that I specifically told him that I was hanging out that evening with my friend because she was about to go to Mexico, which kind of implies that I would no longer be hanging out with said friend after that evening.

Also, it would be normal (am I wrong?) to acknowledge that email in some way, such as "OK, have fun with your friend!". I actually kind of think that either of you would have picked up on that even if you don't think you would have. It is incredibly instinctive to do a back-and-forth, and not answering me left the ball in his court... which it was why it seemed weird when he finally did reply a week later with "is it soon yet?"

I can totally see the attempt at humor, but it makes no sense in the context of me having been the last person to write.

Anyway, that's all minutiae... tiny details that made me feel things were a bit off, compounding my negative reaction of his offer to "sex me up".

SORRY, MY KNOWLEDGE OF DATING PROTOCOL IS VERY NARROW.  I DID NOT REALIZE I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU ON DATE #3.  YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.  LET'S MEET ON SATURDAY AND I WILL SEX YOU TWICE.  I NEED YOU TO BRING YOUR OWN ROOFIES, THOUGH, AS I AM DEAD BROKE.

KTHXBAI

Oh. Yes. 

[Pæs]

Maybe that is how he took it. The only odd thing about him assuming that I was still busy is that the "busy was that I specifically told him that I was hanging out that evening with my friend because she was about to go to Mexico, which kind of implies that I would no longer be hanging out with said friend after that evening.

Also, it would be normal (am I wrong?) to acknowledge that email in some way, such as "OK, have fun with your friend!". I actually kind of think that either of you would have picked up on that even if you don't think you would have. It is incredibly instinctive to do a back-and-forth, and not answering me left the ball in his court... which it was why it seemed weird when he finally did reply a week later with "is it soon yet?"

I can totally see the attempt at humor, but it makes no sense in the context of me having been the last person to write.

Anyway, that's all minutiae... tiny details that made me feel things were a bit off, compounding my negative reaction of his offer to "sex me up".

SORRY, MY KNOWLEDGE OF DATING PROTOCOL IS VERY NARROW.  I DID NOT REALIZE I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU ON DATE #3.  YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.  LET'S MEET ON SATURDAY AND I WILL SEX YOU TWICE.  I NEED YOU TO BRING YOUR OWN ROOFIES, THOUGH, AS I AM DEAD BROKE.

KTHXBAI

This sets my heart all a-flutter. I wish someone would talk to me like that.

[Luna]

Maybe that is how he took it. The only odd thing about him assuming that I was still busy is that the "busy was that I specifically told him that I was hanging out that evening with my friend because she was about to go to Mexico, which kind of implies that I would no longer be hanging out with said friend after that evening.

Also, it would be normal (am I wrong?) to acknowledge that email in some way, such as "OK, have fun with your friend!". I actually kind of think that either of you would have picked up on that even if you don't think you would have. It is incredibly instinctive to do a back-and-forth, and not answering me left the ball in his court... which it was why it seemed weird when he finally did reply a week later with "is it soon yet?"

I can totally see the attempt at humor, but it makes no sense in the context of me having been the last person to write.

Anyway, that's all minutiae... tiny details that made me feel things were a bit off, compounding my negative reaction of his offer to "sex me up".

SORRY, MY KNOWLEDGE OF DATING PROTOCOL IS VERY NARROW.  I DID NOT REALIZE I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU ON DATE #3.  YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.  LET'S MEET ON SATURDAY AND I WILL SEX YOU TWICE.  I NEED YOU TO BRING YOUR OWN ROOFIES, THOUGH, AS I AM DEAD BROKE.

KTHXBAI

Always such a sweet-talker...