It's starting to crumble.

[Salty]

I can see it in the eyes of the people I talk to day in and day out. They see the smile I have propped up on my face, held fast with wire and the last feeble supports I can manage to scrounge. That smile reaches up all the way to my eyes, which is the first trick you have to learn, but even reaching that far...it isn't enough. Once they see my eyes, the window to my soul, they can see The Horrible Truth™.

The truth is I don't give a damn. Not about their petty needs, not about their critical needs. Nothing about a single word any of these bastards can say to me provokes the slightest bit of genuine emotion. That isn't to say that I am dead inside. No. They just hit the Wall. I keep that fucker built high and shiny. The light of their own bland blood-lust and thirst for MOAR and MOAR and MOAR and NOW bounces off that Wall and they can't see what I'm really giving them. They don't want to either. That's the last thing they want.

But that Wall is starting to crumble and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it because I'm just not one of them. I never have been and never will be and the people in the trenches next to me know that even if they don't know why or how or just what it is exactly, they know.

They know that behind that Wall is something they don't ever want to see. They know it's ugly and unforgiving and not in the least bit nurturing. At least, nothing that would nurture the fetid dreams they foster. And there is so MUCH of it. Maybe it's been building up, crashing against the Wall and I just haven't been paying attention.

At first it was easy to pretend. But it has suddenly gotten a lot harder and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I go with the flow and the flow has gotten rotten.

Time to think fast and to the best of my ability.

[Freeky]

This piece speaks to me, and I can't describe how.  But is good.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I like this... reminds me of the series of mask posts we had a couple of years ago.

[East Coast Hustle]

I feel like you just pulled this out of my head, Alty. Good shit.

[Cramulus]

I dig, it evokes American Psycho




Patrick Bateman: There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.



Patrick Bateman: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

[Eater of Clowns]

I like this... reminds me of the series of mask posts we had a couple of years ago.

This one?

[Elder Iptuous]

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I like this... reminds me of the series of mask posts we had a couple of years ago.

This one?

yes!

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I feel like you just pulled this out of my head, Alty. Good shit.

THIS!!

Stop reading mah mind!!!!

[Salty]

Well shit, I have to say I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[Salty]

Well that shit went and crumbled.

On one hand I am amazed by the human ability to adapt and survive in nearly any environment, given the opportunity to do so. On the other, I am amazed by the human ability to break down in situations the mind finds toxic. You see people survive seemingly absurd conditions in the most extraordinary ways. People lose pieces of their bodies and carry on. Unlike Ahab, they use these experiences to make themselves better than they were before. Partially because of what they went through. Because these things happen and they do not destroy us it is something of a badge of honor. You can say proudly "EAT SHIT OTHER HUMANS." because you succeeded where people who are physically more whole than you might fail.

But...the weight of everything that stands behind that wall isn't just what the universe hands over to you. I mean to say, it's not raw, unfiltered reality that does you true harm. No. It's the warping of reality by human minds. It's human minds that create pressure and release waste and form and force and erect walls to keep the OTHER HUMANS away. Raw nature may or may not be banging on the other side, demanding entry. But with all these stupid walls in place, walls we all agree to put up, the pressure builds and builds until it overflows onto those unfortunate enough to not able to secure themselves from the elements.

And when you ARE behind something nice and safe and shiny you are at peace enough to hear the screams coming from somewhere over the other side. At first those screams are nothing. You knew about them, in theory. Besides, those people are assholes too, right?

But then...it just builds and builds. The pressure, the sound of screaming, the bright lights of security shining in your face and shining into the face of anyone that passes by to close to your cozy little center of the universe...it builds up and you no longer have to worry about what's on the other side.

The things hiding with you are worse.