Sigil Thread

[Cramulus]

This thread is for sharing chaos magic sigils.

What's a Sigil? Sigils are magic spells encoded into MS Paint. At the height of orgasm, or when you're all tweaked out on meth, your brain is particularly open to suggestion. (that's why you keep calling those 900 numbers in the back of the magazine) So if you stare at the sigil while you fap or watch late night aerobics videos, the message encoded into the sigil will enter your brain and start micromanaging your nervous-system-homonculous like a playground bully, and suddenly you will be like CAPTAIN PLANET and not a pasty-ass namby-pamby spag who's all like ehhh ehhhh stop twisting my arm Cramulus ehhh I deserve a turn at the water fountain too. That's scientifically proven: If you masturbate just right, you will unleash the power of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Then you'll smoke a cigarette and say to yourself "I just fucked the universe."

I'll get us started!



Effect: this sigil will make you think that cartoon characters from the 1980s are real, and they might be, you know, a romantic option









Effect: If you fap to this sigil, you will ejaculate tiny Beatles. They will perform until they dry, at which point you have to do laundry.









Effect: This one will make you talk like Arnold Schwarzenegger for 11 minutes.

edit: 19 minutes! new record!

[Triple Zero]

Fap to this and you get mega hyper super long distance vision and you will ejaculate epoxy with glitters.

[Cramulus]

Effect: This one makes you want to kill the president





Effect: This one makes you think you ARE the president




IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP:
DO NOT CROSS THE STREAMS

[Don Coyote]

At first I was all  then I was all  then I had to  and now I feel 

[Jenne]

I have to say my reaction to the title was "CRAM YUO DAMNULUS!" but then I saw the results and  

You're taking horrormirthiness to new heights this week, Cram!

[Cramulus]

Effect: This one makes you question your sexuality, apparently.









Effect: No fap necessary. You are now sexually attracted to World War II.

[Cramulus]

Title: Cramulus' Zero Sum Diet Sigil
Effect: You will simultaneously gain and lose weight at a rate of 23 pounds per minute.










Effect: your natural reactions to shock porn and breakfast cereal are switched

[Doktor Howl]

 

[Doktor Howl]

I gotta say, watching Cram go into one of his manic berserker frenzies is one of the things that keeps me coming back here.

[Cramulus]

Effect: The Ghost of Mark Twain will climb into bed with you and gently stroke your moustache.









Effect: Jesus christ I'm going to throw all the food in my fucking refrigerator at these god damn bats

[Cramulus]

Effect: You will understand that All is One and the True Self, the Higher Self, is a pulsing sphere of Light Energy which plays Christmas Songs when you Open the Card

[Triple Zero]

FAP BONUS: Seventy days of extra good luck when trying to pick the shortest line at some checkout or other. Will start somewhere between now and your next birthday. Note that this sigil just implies you'll have good luck, no guarantees your line will actually be shortest. Overcast, 37% possibility of rain.

FAP CURSE: If you cum while looking at the monkey, your line might be shortest, but the cashier will consistently fuck something up when it's your turn, have to call the store manager and enter the wrong price or drop your shit, causing you to spend twice as much time checking out even though you got to your turn really quickly.

[Cramulus]

Effect: If the target creature fails a Will saving throw, its Intelligence and Charisma scores each drop to 1. Then you can run your hands all over its body.






Effect: You will be able to send spam e-mails with your mind.

Flaw: the spam e-mails must be in the chiller font

[Triple Zero]

That's not a flaw, that's EXTRA AWESOME!!!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This thread is AWESOME.

I am now sexually attracted to WWII.