I Can't Fucking Stand It: Why Dok Should Avoid Reading The News

[Triple Zero]

I don't think we've seen anything, yet.  It seems to be accelerating at an accelerating rate.

Hang on to yer butts, it should be an exciting ride.

More like this one:



(aka the euthanasia coaster, kills you with 10G, click image for specs!)

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

NO WAY am I letting these critical thinking skills go down the pooper.  I'm passing them on to the monkey, and I'll make sure he knows how valuable they are.  Shit, I even found a Spongebob coloring book that includes activities that stimulate the part of your brain that draws conclusions and encourages answering ambiguous questions like "Spongebob and Patrick love catching jellyfish!  To catch jellyfish, ____________."  I don't even know what to put there!  It's like, shitfuckdamn, there's a picture right there, what are they even doing man?  What's the ending supposed to be?  OH MY GOD SO EXCITED ABOUT FILL IN THE BLANK FOR LITTLE KIDS.

<---- An official Spaztard.

bolded parts give me the warm fuzzies and a modicum of hope for the future, just sayin....

[deadfong]

NO WAY am I letting these critical thinking skills go down the pooper.  I'm passing them on to the monkey, and I'll make sure he knows how valuable they are.  Shit, I even found a Spongebob coloring book that includes activities that stimulate the part of your brain that draws conclusions and encourages answering ambiguous questions like "Spongebob and Patrick love catching jellyfish!  To catch jellyfish, ____________."  I don't even know what to put there!  It's like, shitfuckdamn, there's a picture right there, what are they even doing man?  What's the ending supposed to be?  OH MY GOD SO EXCITED ABOUT FILL IN THE BLANK FOR LITTLE KIDS.

<---- An official Spaztard.

That's not really a question designed to stimulate general creativity, it's a secret test to see which of the youth of today will be the jellyfishermen of tomorrow, because given all the environmental changes happening to the oceans, jellyfish will be the only living things left.

The next coloring book will have a test to see which children can figure out how to cook the damn things.

[Triple Zero]

"Spongebob and Patrick love catching jellyfish!  To catch jellyfish, ____________."

Easy, you hide behind a coral reef and make pudding sounds. Duh.

Don't they teach anything in schools any more??

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Have you noticed that NOBODY can do ANYTHING right, anymore?  We can't run a post office, much less a space program, banking is a mystery which we have not solved, and even the TERRORISTS are fucking pathetic.  Just take a look at this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44518757/ns/us_news-security/

"I'm forced to wear prison clothes!"  Yeah, jackass, because you've proven you can't be trusted with underpants.  Not only that, the case against him is weakened, because they didn't fucking MIRANDIZE him...Because, apparently, a man with a burned off Johnson and veins full of Fentanyl is an immediate threat.  So now the terrorist wants his statements thrown out and apparently the best way to do THAT is yell "JIHAD!" at the judge.

It fucking pains me.  

The Obama administration is walking around with egg on its face concerning $500 million dollars they loaned to a company that had more red flags than a May Day parade, Bachmann thinks HPV vaccinations cause mental retardation, Perry is organizing "prayer warriors", and ALL of the GOP candidates at the debate the other night said that people dying unnecessarily is FUNNY, and one of them will no doubt be the next president.

I could go on...Hell, I WILL.  A "final report" on the BP oil spill says that "bad decisions" caused the disaster.  WELL, NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.  Mind you, the report DIDN'T call for any form of punitive or even corrective action.  "Doctor Oz" apparently didn't know that arsenic can be found in nature, and apparently some people still think CHARLIE FUCKING SHEEN has opinions worth listening to.

To be fair, compared to all that other stuff you brought up Charlie Sheen's starting to sound pretty levelheaded. I'd prefer people listening to him to people listening to Michelle Bachman.