I Can't Fucking Stand It: Why Dok Should Avoid Reading The News

[Doktor Howl]

Have you noticed that NOBODY can do ANYTHING right, anymore?  We can't run a post office, much less a space program, banking is a mystery which we have not solved, and even the TERRORISTS are fucking pathetic.  Just take a look at this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44518757/ns/us_news-security/

"I'm forced to wear prison clothes!"  Yeah, jackass, because you've proven you can't be trusted with underpants.  Not only that, the case against him is weakened, because they didn't fucking MIRANDIZE him...Because, apparently, a man with a burned off Johnson and veins full of Fentanyl is an immediate threat.  So now the terrorist wants his statements thrown out and apparently the best way to do THAT is yell "JIHAD!" at the judge.

It fucking pains me. 

The Obama administration is walking around with egg on its face concerning $500 million dollars they loaned to a company that had more red flags than a May Day parade, Bachmann thinks HPV vaccinations cause mental retardation, Perry is organizing "prayer warriors", and ALL of the GOP candidates at the debate the other night said that people dying unnecessarily is FUNNY, and one of them will no doubt be the next president.

I could go on...Hell, I WILL.  A "final report" on the BP oil spill says that "bad decisions" caused the disaster.  WELL, NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.  Mind you, the report DIDN'T call for any form of punitive or even corrective action.  "Doctor Oz" apparently didn't know that arsenic can be found in nature, and apparently some people still think CHARLIE FUCKING SHEEN has opinions worth listening to.

YOU FUCKERS ARE KILLING ME!

Look, just shut the fuck up, okay?  Just close your Goddamn pie-hole, and get off my fucking planet.  I do NOT have to put up with this shit.  I am NOT REQUIRED to deal with the ever-increasing levels of RANK STUPIDITY that washes around my fucking knees every time I get out of fucking bed in the morning.  It's all a fucking troll.  It has to be.  No species this STUPID could survive the gap between FALLING OUT OF THE TREES and INVENTING FIRE.

So, you know what?  Bring Perry on.  Just vote the crazy bastard into office, and let's get this shit over with.  Fuck it, make Obama his VP, and we can REDLINE this shit. Let's just see what The Machine can take, shall we? 

And the last few monkeys can carve our epitaph into the side of Mount Everest, for the education of any alien anthropologists that may happen along, in letters 300 feet high:

HERPADERP.

Okay for now,
Dok

[LMNO]

You did have to post this as I'm trying to finish off my day. 




I just can't understand it, Dok.  Why did the Enlightenment fail?

[Doktor Howl]

You did have to post this as I'm trying to finish off my day. 




I just can't understand it, Dok.  Why did the Enlightenment fail?

Because it was only a fad to begin with.  Two million years of beating on log drums vs less than 500 years of progress.  It couldn't fucking last, especially when Europe had the BRILLIANT idea of dumping all the religious nuts in one place, and then letting that place take charge of everything.  It would be like feeding an infant lead every day, and then letting him drive the car when he turned 6.

This whole fucking planet is retarded.  I can't fucking stand it. 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Too much effort to think rationally?

[Doktor Howl]

Too much effort to think rationally?

BRAIN NOT DESIGNED TO THINK RATIONALLY.

The monkey brain is designed to survive on a savannah in groups of 10-30, not try to manage 301,000,000 members using symbols designed to replicate fear of predators and alpha males.

We are using a TRS80 to solve Fermat's Equation, and the results are entirely predictable.

[Phox]

It seems to me that Ron Paul (a man for whom my level of respect varies from sentence to sentence) is perhaps the LEAST fucked up GOP candidate this time around. However, that's not saying much, considering he's still a fucking moron.

Funny, four years ago I figured Romney would be the only worthwhile candidate at this point....

Young and naive maybe?

There has to be something good out there though, right? Right?

[Adios]

It seems to me that Ron Paul (a man for whom my level of respect varies from sentence to sentence) is perhaps the LEAST fucked up GOP candidate this time around. However, that's not saying much, considering he's still a fucking moron.

Funny, four years ago I figured Romney would be the only worthwhile candidate at this point....

Young and naive maybe?

There has to be something good out there though, right? Right?

What are you smoking?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Honestly romney doesnt really do much of anything and he tends to be moderate. At the very least he accepts evolution and agw to be fact.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

In other words he wasnt a terrible governor here so im not terribly opposed to him winning the nomination. He probably is the best of the lot.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I've been watching our race since I grew eyes and trying to stay optimistic but lets look at the facts. Our language and our technology, our ability to stay kings of the food chain have all exploded, exponentially, year on year, since we first rubbed two sticks together. Our nature? Same as it was 200,000 years ago.

Civilisation was only ever a fucking pipedream.

[Adios]

Doesn't surprise me in the slightest. I've been watching our race since I grew eyes and trying to stay optimistic but lets look at the facts. Our language and our technology, our ability to stay kings of the food chain have all exploded, exponentially, year on year, since we first rubbed two sticks together. Our nature? Same as it was 200,000 years ago.

Civilisation was only ever a fucking pipedream.

A tiny brain eating amobea (sp) that lives in warm water may be trying to kick us out of first place. Killed a guy in Kansas recently.

[Phox]

It seems to me that Ron Paul (a man for whom my level of respect varies from sentence to sentence) is perhaps the LEAST fucked up GOP candidate this time around. However, that's not saying much, considering he's still a fucking moron.

Funny, four years ago I figured Romney would be the only worthwhile candidate at this point....

Young and naive maybe?

There has to be something good out there though, right? Right?

What are you smoking?

Not enough, apparently. 

ETA: So, what's your take, Hawk? Genuinely curious, here.

[Luna]

Too many fucking people, not enough brains to go around.

For fuck's sake, you need a license to drive a car, to build a goddamn fence, but to breed?  Go right ahead, have more fucking idiot children than you can afford. 

[Freeky]

Too many fucking people, not enough brains to go around.

For fuck's sake, you need a license to drive a car, to build a goddamn fence, but to breed?  Go right ahead, have more fucking idiot children than you can afford. 

I don't agree with licensing having kids.  No, some people do not have the skills necessary, but lets look at the nature of people.

We see today some very cruel and egregious characters (not egregiously anything in particular, just generally egregious) trying to "crack down on the illegal problem."  If there were some system in place, starting out as a good intention to reduce the amount of child abuse and the population issues that'll eventually spawn an even bigger food shortage than exists and so on, if there were some system in place, these people would have absolutely no problem hijacking it for their own nefarious ends. 

In the beginning, it would be to stop the "anchor babies."  Next, it would be all brown people.  And then who?  Do you really think they'd stop there?  Hell the fuck no.  Next would be the restriction of children to people like us, who commit thoughtcrime and don't have the right values.  Shit, even YOUR post comes across as intolerant and "they don't think like me, so they shouldn't have kids." 

And that is the first step to actually being as bad as they are.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Too many fucking people, not enough brains to go around.

For fuck's sake, you need a license to drive a car, to build a goddamn fence, but to breed?  Go right ahead, have more fucking idiot children than you can afford. 

The predicament runs far deeper than than. An ideal solution would appear to me, at least, to require development of a faculty that the vast majority of our primate brethren have neglected to develop. This being the ability to consciously take control of the underlying simian and stop a whole bunch of retarded and vicious shit from happening. It begins with education but something else is required that doesn't seem to be slotting into place for a lot of us.

The ape is strong and possessed of singular will and relentless persistence. It's also a complete fucking idiot. It's wrapped up in millions of years of "THIS MY TREE. STAY THE FUCK AWAY!" which gradually developed into "THIS OUR BIT OF FOREST... LOT OF US NOW... NEED MOAR..."

Whilst the society that part of us wants to be has sprung up around our monkey ears and the technology and the trappings have all but swallowed the rest of our furry little bodies, underneath it all, it's all about what King f'kin Louie want's to do. For some of us? Not so much and vigilantly trying to be less?