Holy crap check this out....

[AFK]

TRUE STORY TIMEZZ!!!!

I was in my easy chair reading one of my favorite classics.  All of a sudden, there was this weird sound coming from the fireplace.  At first it was a faint scraping sound.  Like little bits of wood scraping metal.  Then, I heard a faint cheep-cheep.  Son of a bitch if I didn't have a bird nest fall down my chimney.  I don't know why the fuckers decided to build on top of my chimney anyway.  I mean, there's a goddamn tree right there in the yard with nice, sturdy, and supportive branches.  Nice big lawn for them to shit all of their worms and seeds.  They must be nuts. 

But there they are.  It's quite the sight.  I mean, it's not every day you have one flue over the cuckoo's nest. 

So should I call animal control? 

[Phox]

 

[Cramulus]

I knew it was coming the whole way. It's sort of like like the built-up anticipation that horror and suspense movies go for.  

[AFK]

I guess that makes me the Jigsaw of the pun world? 

[Freeky]

Masterful, RWHN.

[Doktor Howl]

[Jenne]

 

[Luna]

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Always awesome RWHN!!

[AFK]

There was this lady, she was a cartographer.  In fact, she was a blind cartographer.  Her name was Rose.  You wouldn't think a blind person would make a good cartographer, then again, you might not expect a blind man to make a good drummer, but fuck if Stevie Wonder can't rock the kit.

Anyway, one of Rose's prize possessions was this topographical map of the Himalayan Mountains.  It held a special place for her for a couple of reasons.  One is that she herself had been part of a team that scaled Mt. Everest.  But more importantly, this was an old map handed down to her by her favorite professor from college.  A guy who really took her under his wing.

One day, to her shock, she discovered that the map had seemingly disappeared.  She always kept it on a particular shelf in her office.  But it just wasn't there.  She frantically searched her office, but could not find it.  Just then, one of the custodians popped in to see what all the ruckus was about.  She explained to him what she was looking for.

"Oh, THAT thing." the custodian remarked.  I moved it when I was cleaning your shelves.  I guess I forgot to put it back.  I have it in my office.  I wanted to make sure it was kept somewhere safe."

He quickly returned with the map in hand and gave it to Rose.  Rose was very grateful and thanked the custodian for taking good care of it.  As he handed her the map she laid it carefuly upon her desk.

And as she passed her hands upon the map she felt a great sense of relief.

[LMNO]

OK, now you've gone TOO FAR!

[Jenne]

  THAT took a long time to get to its conclusion, but it was worth the wait.

[Triple Zero]

I suppose the custodian just took it because he wanted to take a peak..

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I suppose the custodian just took it because he wanted to take a peak..

I'm sure it was summit like that.

[Telarus]

The scaling of that pun seriously impressed me.