OMG IM SO SORRY!

[The Rev]

Hey, I originated from a formless chaos which somehow coalesced as a giant cosmic egg.  What class am I?

Your class is utter bastard.  If you take a level of barbarian, and a level of drunken monk, you can go into the prestige class "Kentucky Wife Beater."  Alternatively, you could take a level of rouge and go "Alaskan Politician."

But what does the colour red have to do with Alaska? 

Red is very Palinesque.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, bidding to open.

Now taking opening bids.  Minimum bid is one pool boy for the auctioneer (photograph, resume, and references required, send via PM).

Oh no I already called dibs on this one!!!!! 

Now, now, be fair.

If I don't auction this one off, I'll have to wait for the next to get that pool boy, dammit...

Take Dalek, after he does all these designer drugs, pool boy is about all he will be able to do..... 

[Doktor Howl]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

[trix]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

I'm rather flattered.  I must have really struck a chord for THE FUCKING DOK to call me an asshole.

[kingyak]

Oh please, let me have it. We can show him what a really good time is in the city.  In the ghetto.  With the crack dealers and meth heads.

I promise to return it.

You stay the hell away from me.  You scare me.

So, Khara, up for a little road trip to UW? I can call Kai, and we can have a nice dinner with him while we're up there, and then we can take care of this joker. We're taking him to the IL side of the river, right?

Oh yes oh yes oh yes.....  I know just the place down by the river we can dump the body have a nice dinner.

Just keep him out of the river. They already fished a dead juggalo out of it earlier this year. If another middle class white boy with pretensions of street cred ends up in there, we won't get the smell out until one of the local cancer plants spills some toxic waste.

[trix]

That reminds me, I forgot to tell you guys that I'm a hardcore JUGGALO MOTHAFACKO!

That's right bitches, I BE DOWN WIT DA CLOWN!

[Doktor Howl]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

I'm rather flattered.  I must have really struck a chord for THE FUCKING DOK to call me an asshole.

Yeah, that's quite an accomplishment.  The last guy to get that signal honor did so by totally ruining a party by insisting on loudly proclaiming the virtues of that great American, Rush Limbaugh, for a solid hour.

You are in the company of giants, Trix.  Stand tall.

[Bu🤠ns]

To answer the OP, you simply grab her phone, rub it under your testicles, hand it back and say "MY GRRRMS!"

This..
1. Gives you the demanded satisfaction albeit not monetary.
2. Teaches the mall rat a lesson of awareness and attention.
3. Continues to teach a lesson that every time she puts that phone up to her lips.....well you get the idea.

[The Rev]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

I'm rather flattered.  I must have really struck a chord for THE FUCKING DOK to call me an asshole.

Yeah, that's quite an accomplishment.  The last guy to get that signal honor did so by totally ruining a party by insisting on loudly proclaiming the virtues of that great American, Rush Limbaugh, for a solid hour.

You are in the company of giants, Trix.  Stand tall.

[Luna]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

I'm rather flattered.  I must have really struck a chord for THE FUCKING DOK to call me an asshole.

Yeah, that's quite an accomplishment.  The last guy to get that signal honor did so by totally ruining a party by insisting on loudly proclaiming the virtues of that great American, Rush Limbaugh, for a solid hour.

You are in the company of giants, Trix.  Stand tall.

And you let him live? 

[Doktor Howl]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

I'm rather flattered.  I must have really struck a chord for THE FUCKING DOK to call me an asshole.

Yeah, that's quite an accomplishment.  The last guy to get that signal honor did so by totally ruining a party by insisting on loudly proclaiming the virtues of that great American, Rush Limbaugh, for a solid hour.

You are in the company of giants, Trix.  Stand tall.

And you let him live? 

The lady that hosted the party was miserable enough without having to deal with a beating taking place in her living room, yeah?

[Luna]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

I'm rather flattered.  I must have really struck a chord for THE FUCKING DOK to call me an asshole.

Yeah, that's quite an accomplishment.  The last guy to get that signal honor did so by totally ruining a party by insisting on loudly proclaiming the virtues of that great American, Rush Limbaugh, for a solid hour.

You are in the company of giants, Trix.  Stand tall.

And you let him live? 

The lady that hosted the party was miserable enough without having to deal with a beating taking place in her living room, yeah?

Oooh, wasn't YOUR party.  Makes sense, now.

[Doktor Howl]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

I'm rather flattered.  I must have really struck a chord for THE FUCKING DOK to call me an asshole.

Yeah, that's quite an accomplishment.  The last guy to get that signal honor did so by totally ruining a party by insisting on loudly proclaiming the virtues of that great American, Rush Limbaugh, for a solid hour.

You are in the company of giants, Trix.  Stand tall.

And you let him live? 

The lady that hosted the party was miserable enough without having to deal with a beating taking place in her living room, yeah?

Oooh, wasn't YOUR party.  Makes sense, now.

Yeeeeah.  If it was my party, he'd have gotten the Grant Road Drag all the way out to Lambert Road.

[Luna]

You guys have to be trolling.  I refuse to believe that everyone in the thread is really this stupid.

Of course its everybody else.  Couldn't be any other reason, nope, none at all.

I postulated another reason.  Trolling.

Except you, I do believe you personally are that stupid.

Christ, what an asshole.

I'm rather flattered.  I must have really struck a chord for THE FUCKING DOK to call me an asshole.

Yeah, that's quite an accomplishment.  The last guy to get that signal honor did so by totally ruining a party by insisting on loudly proclaiming the virtues of that great American, Rush Limbaugh, for a solid hour.

You are in the company of giants, Trix.  Stand tall.

And you let him live? 

The lady that hosted the party was miserable enough without having to deal with a beating taking place in her living room, yeah?

Oooh, wasn't YOUR party.  Makes sense, now.

Yeeeeah.  If it was my party, he'd have gotten the Grant Road Drag all the way out to Lambert Road.

Not leaving the mess for the hostess to clean up was the civil thing to do.  I admire your restraint.

[trix]

lol Dok, the first response I got to my OP was Freeky being as insulting as possible, and in the following 13 pages she (and plenty of others) have called me every form of 'stupid' the English language possesses.

I call her stupid in return, in a much more mild way, and suddenly I'm an asshole of Rush Limbaugh Lover proportions.

Double standards?