Law of Unintended Consequences

[Nephew Twiddleton]

"....you are under arrest for the repeated muggings and theft of millions of Americans. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law...."

The CEO zoned out as he read the arrest order.


What the fuck happened?


Everything had been going right, and we were consolidating our power even further. The plutonomy was this close to being unassailable.

We had done everything right. We owned politicians, controlled the wealth, the means of production, got laws passed, propped up bullshit political movements and got people to buy into them, achieved corporate personhood....

We should have thought about all of the angles here. We shot ourselves in the foot. The law of unintended consequences. We should be more cautious in the future. There will always be some smart ass to find some sort of loophole in our loopholes. Now let's see what we can do about that Supreme Court ruling that snagged this whole thing up.


The CEO poured himself some scotch and turned on the news.

"Dozens of corporations have been placed under arrest in a strange twist on the idea of corporate personhood. The corporations are facing a variety of charges and potential sentences including being unable to conduct any business for 10-20 years, one is facing a life sentence, and one private security firm is facing being stoned to demolition and disincorporation by the Afghan government. We're not exactly sure how many rocks it will take to bring down their headquarters, but the State Department is expected to try and get the sentence reduced to monetary reparations."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I wish.

A big problem with corporate personhood is that for some reason, it doesn't extend to accountability for crimes committed by the corporation.

[Doktor Howl]

I wish.

A big problem with corporate personhood is that for some reason, it doesn't extend to accountability for crimes committed by the corporation.

Yep.  They get to have it both ways.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I wish.

A big problem with corporate personhood is that for some reason, it doesn't extend to accountability for crimes committed by the corporation.

Yep.  They get to have it both ways.

Fun idea though. Could be pushed maybe but it would take sometime. It's got me formulating the idea to write letters to the congressthings to consider that angle.

[Precious Moments Zalgo]

Arthur Andersen, LLP was convicted of felony obstruction of justice in the Enron thing.  As a convicted felon, the LLP was no longer allowed to audit public companies.

LLP's don't even have personhood, either, just the limited liability part.  So if a LLP can be convicted of a crime, I would expect a corporate person could also be.

Just googled, found a few examples of some corporations being charged with crimes, mostly small companies. 

So it can and does happen, it's just very rare.  Especially for well connected companies.

[Precious Moments Zalgo]

Found something here that says that corporations are criminally liable for crimes committed by their employees within the course and scope of their employment.  Officers and directors are personally liable for their own crimes, and may also be liable for the actions of any employees they supervise.

[Reginald Ret]

Despite the presence of the CEO and the entire board of directors, the defendant was still charged with failure to appear and convicted in absence. With charges this serious mere representatives will not be sufficient. There is now a warrant out for his arrest and all assets have been frozen.