TGRR's Relationship Advice Thread.

[Pæs]

Dear Reverend,

I'm not pretty enough. My heart's too broken. I cry too much. I'm too outspoken.

WHAT DO?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dear Reverend,

I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?

It's too early to tell.  More data is required.

Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.

Complication: HE'S MARRIED. Yeah, she left him for another woman (this is about the fourth time that's happened) and they live in different houses, but married is married until the court says otherwise. Plus, this is about the fourth time this has happened, which means that he took her back the other three times.

Let's just look at that again:  She left him for another woman.  Again.   So who fucking cares?  He's not married, he's in a contractual nightmare.  If he takes her back again, though, drive him out to the bridge and let Portland deal with him.

You two already put your feet in the sticky stuff.  You may as well roll around in it for a while, and see if you like it. 

To put it another way, since you did it drunk, you're going to be really, really uncomfortable about it.  If you do it sober, you have no excuses to hide behind, and you'll just have to deal with it.

OK.

Will try again, and report results.

I am scared shitless.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Dear Reverend,

I'm not pretty enough. My heart's too broken. I cry too much. I'm too outspoken.

WHAT DO?

Peas, everyone loves you.

(I am not the Reverend, but I just wanted to say that)

[Freeky]

I don't know if for real questions are allowed but I want to meet more people and make larger my chances of meeting someone who fits my standards and yet isn't gay.


WHAT DO?

Socialize.

Eat shit and die, murderaper. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't know if for real questions are allowed but I want to meet more people and make larger my chances of meeting someone who fits my standards and yet isn't gay.


WHAT DO?

Socialize.

OH, I'M SORRY!  I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE HOLY MAN'S™ ADVICE THREAD.  I WAS NOT AWARE THAT IT HAD BEEN SOLD TO A FUCKED UP PERVERT.  MY FUCKING BAD.  WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?

[Luna]

Dear Reverend,

I got drunk and accidentally with my best friend. What now?

It's too early to tell.  More data is required.

Accidentally again when you're sober and record the results.

Complication: HE'S MARRIED. Yeah, she left him for another woman (this is about the fourth time that's happened) and they live in different houses, but married is married until the court says otherwise. Plus, this is about the fourth time this has happened, which means that he took her back the other three times.

Let's just look at that again:  She left him for another woman.  Again.   So who fucking cares?  He's not married, he's in a contractual nightmare.  If he takes her back again, though, drive him out to the bridge and let Portland deal with him.

You two already put your feet in the sticky stuff.  You may as well roll around in it for a while, and see if you like it. 

To put it another way, since you did it drunk, you're going to be really, really uncomfortable about it.  If you do it sober, you have no excuses to hide behind, and you'll just have to deal with it.

OK.

Will try again, and report results.

I am scared shitless.

Be brave.

If he's a good friend, he won't be offended by, "that was something...  You up for giving it another go?"

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear TGRR,

Why do men think it's okay to lie?

No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?

No wait...


WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!

Develop better taste in men.  The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags.  Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Reverend,

I'm not pretty enough. My heart's too broken. I cry too much. I'm too outspoken.

WHAT DO?

This sounds more like a question for my associate, Dr Kevorkian.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'd just also like to point out that Babylon fucking Horuv's advice to "socialize" is both the most infuriating and funny fucking thing I've seen this month.

This is not to say that BH shouldn't slide under a manure truck and get busy.  I'm just saying.

[Freeky]

I'd just also like to point out that Babylon fucking Horuv's advice to "socialize" is both the most infuriating and funny fucking thing I've seen this month.

This is not to say that BH shouldn't slide under a manure truck and get busy.  I'm just saying.

Agreed.    <-- Needs moar use! 

[Suu]

Dear TGRR,

Why do men think it's okay to lie?

No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?

No wait...


WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!

Develop better taste in men.  The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags.  Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.

I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.

[EK WAFFLR]

Holy Man,

How do I get GF to get implants? 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear TGRR,

Why do men think it's okay to lie?

No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?

No wait...


WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!

Develop better taste in men.  The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags.  Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.

I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.

I don't believe that for one minute.

Just saying.  Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them.  Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Holy Man,

How do I get GF to get implants? 

Tell her you'll get them first.

Seriously, just buy a fucking sex doll.

[Suu]

Dear TGRR,

Why do men think it's okay to lie?

No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?

No wait...


WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!

Develop better taste in men.  The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags.  Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.

I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.

I don't believe that for one minute.

Just saying.  Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them.  Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.

No I believe you. There is seriously something wrong with my taste in men. But, only in New England, as the guys I dated down yonder were actually sweethearts.

Then again...we were teenagers, and didn't have a shitton of emotional fucking baggage, either.