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TGRR's Relationship Advice Thread.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 16, 2011, 08:33:13 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#45
November 17, 2011, 12:12:00 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 12:06:13 AM
Dear Reverend,

If this thing with EOT doesn't go anywhere, should I get a Ukrainian mail order husband, or should I travel to Peru and find one there?

If this doesn't work out, I suggest instead the "Chainsaw Billy" technique, that involves prescreening men with an assortment of powered devices.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

PopeTom

#46
November 17, 2011, 12:12:56 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:52:33 PM
Quote from: Agent Buttchug on November 16, 2011, 10:58:02 PM
How do I meet these hot protester women that aren't interested in patchouli soaked bongos, wanton violence with police, or being homeless by choice? They all seem to be taken....

By the way, all those cool stories you heard about women in the late 60s/early 70s?

Yeah.  There was about a dozen of them.  Total.  And they all fit into at least one of the catagories you mention above.

I was hoping the answer to this question would be 'Go to a Tea Party rally'.
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

PopeTom

#47
November 17, 2011, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:55:30 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 16, 2011, 11:40:12 PM
Dear Reverend,

Which country offers the best mail-order brides?

Depends.  Are you looking for someone that will rip you off, and then leave the moment she has her green card, or are you looking for someone you can abuse with impunity?



The former, I'll save the the unfettered abuse for the children.
-PopeTom

I am the result of 13.75 ± 0.13 billion years of random chance. Now that I exist I see no reason to start planning and organizing everything in my life.

Random dumb luck got me here, random dumb luck will get me to where I'm going.

Hail Eris!

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#48
November 17, 2011, 12:15:12 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 12:12:00 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 17, 2011, 12:06:13 AM
Dear Reverend,

If this thing with EOT doesn't go anywhere, should I get a Ukrainian mail order husband, or should I travel to Peru and find one there?

If this doesn't work out, I suggest instead the "Chainsaw Billy" technique, that involves prescreening men with an assortment of powered devices.

:lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Elder Iptuous

#49
November 17, 2011, 12:51:24 AM
i married my highschool sweetheart, who fulfills my dreams.  she keeps me on my toes, is a great cook, a great mother to my sons, and a vixen to boot.  so i guess i don't really need any general relationship advice...

but since we've been married since we were kids, neither of us did the dating scene much, and we're going to have fun with the idea by 'meeting as strangers in a bar' where i will pick her up and take her to a hotel room for fun romp.
any advice on how to appear extra suave?
it is perhaps relevant that the hotel that this bar is in does not have 220V in the rooms...

Suu

#50
November 17, 2011, 01:57:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 11:17:27 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:50:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:46:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:44:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:37:42 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,

Why do men think it's okay to lie?

No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?

No wait...


WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!

Develop better taste in men.  The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags.  Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.

I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.

I don't believe that for one minute.

Just saying.  Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them.  Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.

No I believe you. There is seriously something wrong with my taste in men. But, only in New England, as the guys I dated down yonder were actually sweethearts.

Then again...we were teenagers, and didn't have a shitton of emotional fucking baggage, either.



:lulz: Oh honey. You don't know baggage yet.

When I grow up, I only hope I can be half as awesome as you.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#51
November 17, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
Quote from: Suu on November 17, 2011, 01:57:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel on November 16, 2011, 11:17:27 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:50:12 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:46:51 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:44:45 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 10:37:42 PM
Quote from: Suu on November 16, 2011, 10:11:49 PM
Dear TGRR,

Why do men think it's okay to lie?

No wait...why do I date men that think it's okay to lie?

No wait...


WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS, AND HOW CAN FIX?!

Develop better taste in men.  The things you go for are, apparently, predominately displayed in shitbags.  Go for different things, or just learn to accept it and wallow in your inner guido.

I don't have enough yellow gold to wallow...no more shitbags it is.

I don't believe that for one minute.

Just saying.  Because it ain't the guys, Suu, it's you picking them.  Whatever you've wired yourself to be attracted to is what's fucking you over time and time again, and frankly - not to be mean, here, just being straight with you - I don't think you're done kicking yourself in the ovaries just yet.

No I believe you. There is seriously something wrong with my taste in men. But, only in New England, as the guys I dated down yonder were actually sweethearts.

Then again...we were teenagers, and didn't have a shitton of emotional fucking baggage, either.



:lulz: Oh honey. You don't know baggage yet.

When I grow up, I only hope I can be half as awesome as you.

I assume that by "awesome" you mean "damaged".
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Juana

#52
November 17, 2011, 02:37:27 AM
Dear Reverend,

Ivy League Boy (henceforth referred to as Lawful Good, because he is) attempted to call me last night. It was a bad time and I had no opportunity to talk, so the conversation was literally about a minute long. Do I contact him this evening or wait until tomorrow and then perhaps extend an invitation for something this weekend?
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

The Good Reverend Roger

#53
November 17, 2011, 02:48:08 AM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:55:30 PM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 16, 2011, 11:40:12 PM
Dear Reverend,

Which country offers the best mail-order brides?

Depends.  Are you looking for someone that will rip you off, and then leave the moment she has her green card, or are you looking for someone you can abuse with impunity?



The former, I'll save the the unfettered abuse for the children.

Then go with Russia or the Ukraine.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#54
November 17, 2011, 02:49:29 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 02:37:27 AM
Dear Reverend,

Ivy League Boy (henceforth referred to as Lawful Good, because he is) attempted to call me last night. It was a bad time and I had no opportunity to talk, so the conversation was literally about a minute long. Do I contact him this evening or wait until tomorrow and then perhaps extend an invitation for something this weekend?

You teach him that love is a magic bucket of shit.  It is an ordeal...It is a marathon, and if he wants it, he's gonna have to run.  How fast and how long he has to run is basically up to you.  Which ivy league school?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#55
November 17, 2011, 02:51:03 AM
Quote from: Iptuous on November 17, 2011, 12:51:24 AM
i married my highschool sweetheart, who fulfills my dreams.  she keeps me on my toes, is a great cook, a great mother to my sons, and a vixen to boot.  so i guess i don't really need any general relationship advice...

but since we've been married since we were kids, neither of us did the dating scene much, and we're going to have fun with the idea by 'meeting as strangers in a bar' where i will pick her up and take her to a hotel room for fun romp.
any advice on how to appear extra suave?
it is perhaps relevant that the hotel that this bar is in does not have 220V in the rooms...


It is fucking crucial that you come off as a complete dork.  I cannot stress this enough.  This is a TEST, sir.  A test in which she wants to learn just exactly how much you know about this sort of shit, and unlike school, the more you know, the worse off you are.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#56
November 17, 2011, 02:52:38 AM
Quote from: PopeTom on November 17, 2011, 12:12:56 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 16, 2011, 11:52:33 PM
Quote from: Agent Buttchug on November 16, 2011, 10:58:02 PM
How do I meet these hot protester women that aren't interested in patchouli soaked bongos, wanton violence with police, or being homeless by choice? They all seem to be taken....

By the way, all those cool stories you heard about women in the late 60s/early 70s?

Yeah.  There was about a dozen of them.  Total.  And they all fit into at least one of the catagories you mention above.

I was hoping the answer to this question would be 'Go to a Tea Party rally'.

Oh, you're after huge chicks with false teeth.

Why the hell didn't you say so?  Look, save the rally bullshit, and just head down to the nearest bar that hasn't got a level floor but does have karaoke.  Drink 6 rums, strong ones.

Thank me later.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Juana

#57
November 17, 2011, 02:59:57 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:49:29 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 02:37:27 AM
Dear Reverend,

Ivy League Boy (henceforth referred to as Lawful Good, because he is) attempted to call me last night. It was a bad time and I had no opportunity to talk, so the conversation was literally about a minute long. Do I contact him this evening or wait until tomorrow and then perhaps extend an invitation for something this weekend?

You teach him that love is a magic bucket of shit.  It is an ordeal...It is a marathon, and if he wants it, he's gonna have to run.  How fast and how long he has to run is basically up to you.  Which ivy league school?
Ended up texting him at the advice of Ginger Kid. He went to Columbia Law.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

The Good Reverend Roger

#58
November 17, 2011, 03:04:24 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 02:59:57 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 17, 2011, 02:49:29 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 17, 2011, 02:37:27 AM
Dear Reverend,

Ivy League Boy (henceforth referred to as Lawful Good, because he is) attempted to call me last night. It was a bad time and I had no opportunity to talk, so the conversation was literally about a minute long. Do I contact him this evening or wait until tomorrow and then perhaps extend an invitation for something this weekend?

You teach him that love is a magic bucket of shit.  It is an ordeal...It is a marathon, and if he wants it, he's gonna have to run.  How fast and how long he has to run is basically up to you.  Which ivy league school?
Ended up texting him at the advice of Ginger Kid. He went to Columbia Law.

Went to?  How old is this guy?

And does he have a chance in hell of passing the bar exam?

It's not a financial question...There's nothing in the world sadder or more annoying than someone who went to law school but can't pass the exam.  They should quietly put people to sleep the 3rd time they fail.  Or just "Old Yeller" them.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Juana

#59
November 17, 2011, 03:09:20 AM
Twenty seven. Works as an assistant district attorney as of Monday.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."
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