advice thread. where golf shoes = my new neighbour

[Freeky]

Subtle, at first.  Does he have a live-in SO?  If so, go with the cards sent from out of state.

Hell, send flowers.  With a card saying, "I can't forget the special time we spent together.  Call me.  Love, George."

Shit, have PDers send the cards! 

[Hoser McRhizzy]

 

Making a list. 

*sniff-sniff* ... love... you guys... 

But this right here?

... German...

... German...

That's just sick.   

[Hoser McRhizzy]

Leaving out anything that
- would affect the rest of the women in the apartments around him,
- would lead to re-infestation of this block of housing,
- involves physical contact with him (or sharing more space than we already do),
- will fuck with an honest person's business,
- makes me or my lady love a mafia target,
- involves making this building smell even more like feces,
this is an incredibly fucked-up to-do list for this year.     Thank you!

While I can't make him less stupid, angry, egocentric or loud, I can give him some of the attention he so desperately craves.   

I got nothing.

At the point you've reached, I typically just resort to violence.

I fantasise about it, believe me.  It's just not an option.

[LMNO]

Do you have your landlord's phone number?

If so, every time it gets loud, call him/her up so they can hear what's going on.  Sort of like the idea of timestamping a DVD, but it makes the landlord much more involved.  A week of calls at 3:00 am should prompt some action; either he'll speak to the neighbor, or he'll break your lease.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Subtle, at first.  Does he have a live-in SO?  If so, go with the cards sent from out of state.

Hell, send flowers.  With a card saying, "I can't forget the special time we spent together.  Call me.  Love, George."

Shit, have PDers send the cards! 

Yes. Give us the address. Construction paper and pornos make awesome cards.
ARTS AND CRAFTS ARE FUN

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Subtle, at first.  Does he have a live-in SO?  If so, go with the cards sent from out of state.

Hell, send flowers.  With a card saying, "I can't forget the special time we spent together.  Call me.  Love, George."

Shit, have PDers send the cards! 

Yes. Give us the address. Construction paper and pornos make awesome cards.
ARTS AND CRAFTS ARE FUN

THIS!!  I will be happy to mail in my artistic creations.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Does he have a vehicle with an alarm?

At our last apartment, the people upstairs played their music so loud that my light fixtures would go on and off.  The landlord never did shit.

They had a car with an alarm that could be triggered rather easily.

Everytime their music started, we set off their car alarm.  I actually moved before they put it together, but watching them run up and down the stairs to shut the alarm off was worth the lightbulb replacement over the years.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Does he have a vehicle with an alarm?

At our last apartment, the people upstairs played their music so loud that my light fixtures would go on and off.  The landlord never did shit.

They had a car with an alarm that could be triggered rather easily.

Everytime their music started, we set off their car alarm.  I actually moved before they put it together, but watching them run up and down the stairs to shut the alarm off was worth the lightbulb replacement over the years.

[Freeky]

Subtle, at first.  Does he have a live-in SO?  If so, go with the cards sent from out of state.

Hell, send flowers.  With a card saying, "I can't forget the special time we spent together.  Call me.  Love, George."

Shit, have PDers send the cards! 

Yes. Give us the address. Construction paper and pornos make awesome cards.
ARTS AND CRAFTS ARE FUN

SO VERY FUN.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

If Hoser doesn't go for this, I think a PD.com pornographic Christmas card exchange is in order.

[Elder Iptuous]

If Hoser doesn't go for this, I think a PD.com pornographic Christmas card exchange is in order.

wunderbar!

[Luna]

If Hoser doesn't go for this, I think a PD.com pornographic Christmas card exchange is in order.

Oh...   Oh, yes.   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Does he have a vehicle with an alarm?

At our last apartment, the people upstairs played their music so loud that my light fixtures would go on and off.  The landlord never did shit.

They had a car with an alarm that could be triggered rather easily.

Everytime their music started, we set off their car alarm.  I actually moved before they put it together, but watching them run up and down the stairs to shut the alarm off was worth the lightbulb replacement over the years.

Brilliant!

[Luna]

Start collecting sign-me-up cards.  Book clubs. Political mailings.  Junk mail.  Sign him up for EVERYTHING.  Magazine subscriptions...