You are all a bunch of faggots and nobody likes you.

[LMNO]

I hear ya. After five or more ounces of bourbon and a few sides of Son House on the turntable, and I...



...nope. Still just a drunk cracker.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Turkey CAN be kosher. And she eats turkey bacon.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I hear ya. After five or more ounces of bourbon and a few sides of Son House on the turntable, and I...



...nope. Still just a drunk cracker.

I keep all my crazy wrapped in packing tape.

Bourbon is a form of solvent.  After 5 or more shots, I'm George Washington Carver, Smedley Butler, Thank You Black Jesus, Van Gogh, Lord Buckley, and Billy Carter, all at once.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Incidentally, I maintain that Martin Luther King Jr did more for Whites than he did for Blacks.

Oh, absolutely!

And yes, the dinner party was amazing, and I put bacon in everything because FBF is in Mexico and this might be my only chance ever (she is Jewish).

1.  Excellent.  Also, is turkey kosher?  Because turkey bacon is pretty damn good.

2.  MLK did a lot to bring Blacks closer to equality in America, but he shamed Whites into being civilized.  Likewise, my personal hero, Muhammed Ali, in one sentence taught me how to walk upright:

"No Vietcong ever called me nigger."

There's a whole lot of freight in that one short sentence.  "I will not fight brown people for the benefit of rich White people who harm our own brown people." (you can substitute "poor" for "brown", and still have the same message), and "Non-serviam", and "I came all the way here to say FUCK YOU, while all the rich kids ran to America.  I will not run, and I will not obey.", and "I am willing to destroy my hugely successful career to tell you where to shove it, you bastards.", and mostly..."No."

That image of Muhammed Ali telling Howard Cosell what time it was has stuck with me through my entire life.  When I am tempted to back down from what I know is right, in the face of authority, I remember that.  When I am tempted to make a shitty compromise, I remember that.  It is probably, IMO, the best thing any American ever said after Patrick Henry and Thomas Paine kicked the bucket, and I'd argue that it gives them a run for their money.

Truly, Cassius Clay is one of a monumental few. It's hard to even define what he is as a man and a thinker, let alone what he is for a generation of black kids who are just one breeding cycle away from Jim Crow laws.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For the record, the fact that I even identify as black is a matter of deeply-entrenched American racism.

My DAUGHTER identifies as black. We are talking about some serious one-drop-rule bullshit here.

I am legally black though. She is not. I don't even know how to feel about that.

Shit, a couple of cones and half an hour of Outbreak riddim, and I identify as black too.  

I have no idea what you just said.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

For the record, the fact that I even identify as black is a matter of deeply-entrenched American racism.

My DAUGHTER identifies as black. We are talking about some serious one-drop-rule bullshit here.

I am legally black though. She is not. I don't even know how to feel about that.

Shit, a couple of cones and half an hour of Outbreak riddim, and I identify as black too.  

I have no idea what you just said.

He's in Britain.  They don't speak any known language.  Linguists and anthropologists are working on it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Listening to Beyonce use her angry voice doesn't make me identify as Black.

But it does make my pance all tight, in a manner that renders race meaningless.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Listening to Beyonce use her angry voice doesn't make me identify as Black.

But it does make my pance all tight, in a manner that renders race meaningless.

IN FUCKING DEED, SIR.

Sort of like how for some reason George Clooney transcends all boundaries of age and race.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Listening to Beyonce use her angry voice doesn't make me identify as Black.

But it does make my pance all tight, in a manner that renders race meaningless.

IN FUCKING DEED, SIR.

Sort of like how for some reason George Clooney transcends all boundaries of age and race.

FACT:  When the song "Telephone" plays, I have to beat the fucking thing down with a 2 pound hammer.  Gaga is okay, but Beyonce...

[Luna]

Listening to Beyonce use her angry voice doesn't make me identify as Black.

But it does make my pance all tight, in a manner that renders race meaningless.

IN FUCKING DEED, SIR.

Sort of like how for some reason George Clooney transcends all boundaries of age and race.

FACT:  When the song "Telephone" plays, I have to beat the fucking thing down with a 2 pound hammer.  Gaga is okay, but Beyonce...

The visual of a man taking a hammer to his own junk is oddly arousing.

[Freeky]

Listening to Beyonce use her angry voice doesn't make me identify as Black.

But it does make my pance all tight, in a manner that renders race meaningless.

IN FUCKING DEED, SIR.

Sort of like how for some reason George Clooney transcends all boundaries of age and race.

O hells yes.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Listening to Beyonce use her angry voice doesn't make me identify as Black.

But it does make my pance all tight, in a manner that renders race meaningless.

IN FUCKING DEED, SIR.

Sort of like how for some reason George Clooney transcends all boundaries of age and race.

FACT:  When the song "Telephone" plays, I have to beat the fucking thing down with a 2 pound hammer.  Gaga is okay, but Beyonce...

The visual of a man taking a hammer to his own junk is oddly arousing.

I used to use the butt of my pistol, but I am told that is unsafe.

[LMNO]

For you, or for the pistol?

[Luna]

For you, or for the pistol?

Probably for onlookers.  I mean, really, that's GOTTA have a "don't try this at home" warning.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

For you, or for the pistol?

That was never made clear.