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The Rather Disturbing And Yet Disappointing TRUTH About Demo Squid.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 13, 2012, 05:05:23 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

January 13, 2012, 05:05:23 PM
Now, I've heard all kind of rumors about Demolition Squid, how he's not really human, how he's some kind of undead Nazi hell creature from beyond dimension X.  And I'm here to tell you that these slanders are utterly false.  No basis to them whatsoever. 

Consider:  Nazis deliver what they promise.  They don't fuck around with diplomatic notes or "sanctions" (which are not, apparently, as pants-shittingly scary as the UN would like to believe.).  No, they just jump right in and start kicking shit.  I imagine the late 20s – mid 40s went something like this:

QuoteNazis:  "Hey, everybody, LET'S HAVE A PARTY!"
Italy:  "I'm in."
Japan: " Already on it."
Jews:  "Ofuk, not again."
Gypsies, retarded people, trade unionists:  "Wait.  What?"
Russia:  "OHAI"
Britain:  "Right."
America:  "Ah Geeze, okay."
Nazis:  Fuck all you guys.
America:  Look at this new toy.

See?  There was no fucking about.  Demolition Squid, on the other hand, instead lurks in his secret stronghold in England, and makes snide comments about everyone.  Sometimes he's even sarcastic.  And as evil as the Nazis were, even they didn't do THAT.

So while he may be an undead alien from another dimension, he's no Nazi.  What he IS, is evil incarnate, a genuine dookie-head who makes no fucking sense, and reliable sources tell me he's behind the current rat shortage in London.  What is he doing with all of those rats, I ask you?  Nothing good, that's for sure. 

In closing, I think we should all take a moment to hate Demolition Squid for being a trans-dimensional soul-sucking fiend who can't even be arsed to wear a snappy black uniform.

Or Kill Me.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#1
January 13, 2012, 05:13:31 PM
Redirecting hate towards somewhere in England. Bristol is it? I dunno. Someone in Bristol is getting hate right now.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
January 13, 2012, 05:15:47 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:13:31 PM
Redirecting hate towards somewhere in England. Bristol is it? I dunno. Someone in Bristol is getting hate right now.

How far is that from the Tower of London?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#3
January 13, 2012, 05:22:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 05:15:47 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:13:31 PM
Redirecting hate towards somewhere in England. Bristol is it? I dunno. Someone in Bristol is getting hate right now.

How far is that from the Tower of London?

122 miles. Bristol is also suspiciously close to Wales.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
January 13, 2012, 05:23:12 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:22:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 05:15:47 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:13:31 PM
Redirecting hate towards somewhere in England. Bristol is it? I dunno. Someone in Bristol is getting hate right now.

How far is that from the Tower of London?

122 miles. Bristol is also suspiciously close to Wales.

Okay.  I didn't want Pix & Payne to get any dookie on them.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#5
January 13, 2012, 05:26:41 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 05:23:12 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:22:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 05:15:47 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:13:31 PM
Redirecting hate towards somewhere in England. Bristol is it? I dunno. Someone in Bristol is getting hate right now.

How far is that from the Tower of London?

122 miles. Bristol is also suspiciously close to Wales.

Okay.  I didn't want Pix & Payne to get any dookie on them.

Oh, certainly.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Scribbly

#6
January 13, 2012, 05:30:07 PM
I suppose it was inevitable that someone would notice the rat situation.

In my defence, Reverend, do you know what happens to undead flesh when you squeeze it into leather? I tell you, vampires have a lot to answer for.

Nobody talks about the good works. My tireless efforts to keep the Cornish out of our homes and schools. The sharp decrease in brain activity amongst bankers and tories (admittedly, this is difficult to detect with conventional instruments). My partnership with animal shelters nationwide.

No, its all 'where are our beloved rats?' 'How could you say that?' and 'We weren't SERIOUS about having a good time!'

If you cut me, do I not leak ichor? If I had a heart, would it not pump blood as viscous as yours?

We both know that if Curly was around today, he'd be on my side.

From the damp spot in a pair of angles not located anywhere near Bristol,

-DemoSquid.
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

Nephew Twiddleton

#7
January 13, 2012, 05:34:36 PM
Right, redirecting hate to.....


Em.... Carmarthen.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
January 13, 2012, 05:40:43 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:34:36 PM
Right, redirecting hate to.....


Em.... Carmarthen.

We have no choice.  The whole island will have to go.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
January 13, 2012, 05:41:42 PM
Quote from: Demolition_Squid on January 13, 2012, 05:30:07 PM
Nobody talks about the good works. My tireless efforts to keep the Cornish out of our homes and schools.

See, this is EXACTLY the kind of secular interference that the public will not stand for.  Next, you'll be after the OTHER Jesii.  You fucking monster.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#10
January 13, 2012, 05:45:59 PM
Well evacuate payne pixie and my dad first. Well give badbeast the option but i suspect hed want to see the show.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
January 13, 2012, 05:56:02 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:45:59 PM
Well evacuate payne pixie and my dad first. Well give badbeast the option but i suspect hed want to see the show.

Badbeast is hard as fucking nails, he'll be fine.

In fact, I suspect that the heat won't even work its way through the FIRST layer of his protective grime/vermin.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Scribbly

#12
January 13, 2012, 06:00:50 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 13, 2012, 05:41:42 PM
Quote from: Demolition_Squid on January 13, 2012, 05:30:07 PM
Nobody talks about the good works. My tireless efforts to keep the Cornish out of our homes and schools.

See, this is EXACTLY the kind of secular interference that the public will not stand for.  Next, you'll be after the OTHER Jesii.  You fucking monster.

I make no apologies for my actions, Sir. We have to keep them separate for their good as much as ours. Who knows what would happen if they learned to read? Their brains simply were not designed for that kind of strain. Trust me, I should know.

Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 05:34:36 PM
Right, redirecting hate to.....


Em.... Carmarthen.

I've been called a lot of things, Twid. A lot of things. But are you really implying I'm Welsh? How dare you?

Call me a monster if you must! But there are limits! Even I have feelings you know.
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

Nephew Twiddleton

#13
January 13, 2012, 06:04:54 PM
Presence in wales makes not a welshman. Even i have spent a few hours in swansea even eating there and laughing large groups of drunken scots fresh off of a soccer victory. Or maybe it was rugby. I dunno.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
January 13, 2012, 06:06:21 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 13, 2012, 06:04:54 PM
Presence in wales makes not a welshman. Even i have spent a few hours in swansea even eating there and laughing large groups of drunken scots fresh off of a soccer victory. Or maybe it was rugby. I dunno.

Man.

I don't even KNOW you, anymore.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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