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Prophecy ITT.

Started by Salty, January 25, 2012, 06:29:18 PM

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Salty

January 25, 2012, 06:29:18 PM
The gift of sight is both a blessing and a burden.

I didn't ask Eris for this AWESOME and IMPORTANT superhuman ability, and it weighs heavily on me.
And yet...it comforts me.

It comforts me to know, without doubt or question that on the 4th of June 2045 ECH will lead The Hustle Offensive, in which an army of killer, mutated rats will eat congress, the senate, and the entire Food Network. Sure, millions of people and several rats will be killed. Sure. just think of where we might be without his sacrifice.

I am also deeply comforted to know that Faust runs our servers since it will be revealed on August 6th 2032 that he is the Batman.

Possessing knowledge like this is awesome, if troubling.

It pains me to know that TGRR will pass away taking what papers will refer to as "An Act of Unmitigated Terror". Those who know him will know the event that destroyed Tucson as "The Last "Vindaloo".

And poor Cramulus. Poor, poor Cramulus. He will fight his whole life against the scourge of diabetus only to succumb to the sickness himself in the year 2015. Too soon. Too soon. The image of him, passed out and surrounded by broken, and empty, insulin needles, haunts me.

Perhaps the most shocking revelation was a flash into the year 3005. Badbeast was there, totally unchanged. Because he is a robot from the future. Do not trust him.

Please, don't ask me to fortell what is to come. The flashes come, terrifying and brutal, they come. It's too much, my friends, just too much.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
January 25, 2012, 06:36:05 PM
I keep trying, Alty...But I can't make the poomp reach critical mass.

The fact that prophecy states that I one day will, brings peace to an old man's ichor pump heart.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

#2
January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.

Don Coyote

#3
January 25, 2012, 06:38:11 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.

I hate to break it to you, but that is actually how it is spread. :cry:

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
January 25, 2012, 06:39:23 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.

You SAY that, but we KNOW about your perversion.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

#5
January 25, 2012, 06:43:39 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 25, 2012, 06:36:05 PM
I keep trying, Alty...But I can't make the poomp reach critical mass.

The fact that prophecy states that I one day will, brings peace to an old man's ichor pump heart.

Then my gift is that much more valuable.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Salty

#6
January 25, 2012, 06:45:54 PM Last Edit: January 25, 2012, 06:52:02 PM by Alty
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.

You can't escape your destiny, it has been foretold. In the OP.

You can't escape it any more than Coyote can escape being one of the congressmen who will lose their lives in The Hustle Offensive.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Don Coyote

#7
January 25, 2012, 06:50:14 PM
Quote from: Alty on January 25, 2012, 06:45:54 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on January 25, 2012, 06:36:56 PM
FUCK THAT! I AM NOT GETTING DIABETES. I WOULD KILL MYSELF FIRST. PEOPLE WITH DIABETES ARE DESPICABLE AMORAL HUMAN BEINGS AND I WOULD RATHER HAVE A DEER TICK ON MY EYEBALL THAN BE IN A ROOM WITH ONE OF THEM. I WILL NOT JOIN THEIR RANKS. THE ONLY CONTACT I WANT WITH DIABETICS INVOLVES HITTING THEM WITH MY CAR.

You can escape your destiny, it has been foretold. In the OP.

You can't escape it any more than Coyote can escape being one of the congressmen who will lose their lives in The Hustle Offensive.

Evidently I need to up my dosage of Proph-o-block before you shifty bastards start fortelling more of my evil plans future.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
January 25, 2012, 06:51:31 PM
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

#9
January 25, 2012, 06:59:21 PM
never.



NEVER.


NEAVARRR
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


:cramstipated:


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#10
January 25, 2012, 07:28:41 PM
This is beautiful.  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

East Coast Hustle

#11
January 25, 2012, 07:45:36 PM
This thread is so full of win!

I like knowing that I will have something to do once I reach retirement age.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Salty

#12
January 25, 2012, 08:11:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on January 25, 2012, 06:51:31 PM


             Uncanny.
               /
:judge:
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Salty

#13
January 25, 2012, 08:17:54 PM
Some of you may be happy to know that Freeky will not only become the fiercest warrior in the Battle for New Tucson, she will lead her band of 'Dloo-blasted, disfigured freaks against chemically enhanced Calvinists and come out victorious. Their overly-sized heads will mount the walls of that city until they are nothing but dust.

Also, Captain Utopia will be an unhinged, paranoid idiot forever.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
January 25, 2012, 08:21:15 PM
Quote from: Alty on January 25, 2012, 08:17:54 PM

Also, Captain Utopia will be an unhinged, paranoid idiot forever.

This is what we in the business refer to as the gross prophet margin.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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