Prophecy ITT.

[Salty]

 

All I know is what my guts tell me. My POWERS come from the depths of my bowels, where I store all my prana. My smelly, smelly prana.

And they tell me that there will be statues of LMNO, celebrating his many hats, all over North America. These statues will be heated, will vibrate in a terrifying manner, and people of all shapes and sized will be drawn to them with no clear reasoning as to why. No one knows when the arrived, how they were made, or why. But decades after their presence is made cults will be established. They will make great and terrible sacrifices to these statues.

[LMNO]

And all will be as should be.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Go boston!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

All I know is what my guts tell me. My POWERS come from the depths of my bowels, where I store all my prana. My smelly, smelly prana.

And they tell me that there will be statues of LMNO, celebrating his many hats, all over North America. These statues will be heated, will vibrate in a terrifying manner, and people of all shapes and sized will be drawn to them with no clear reasoning as to why. No one knows when the arrived, how they were made, or why. But decades after their presence is made cults will be established. They will make great and terrible sacrifices to these statues.

All of this will happen, of course, AFTER he is devoured by electrical space demons from the Ru Paul dimension.

[navkat]

Ooooh! Do me!

[Salty]

I'm afraid we don't have time for that, Navkat. I have the strangest feeling that your eventual blossoming into pure electronic funk will be taking place sooner than later. It will happen a few weeks after the point where your dancing can simply no longer be stopped. They will try to stop you, they will try to save themselves by the beat-down. But they will all melt like butter (literally) at the sheer force that transforms you into electronic doom.

Twid, who will kill Bono in front of millions of people during a duel, will attempt to thwart this becoming because it threatens the fabric of sound itself and he would like to ask some more questions. He will lose much in this epic battle, not the least of all his beard, and he will not win. Though people will sing his praises and his songs and remember that guy who finally got fucking rid of bono.

[Salty]

You know what's really going to suck when Secret Agent Garbo sells us all down the river to certain government agencies after the Non-Compliance Act of 2041. Some of us, those who are less careful, are going to wake up with black bags around our heads and the smell of urine not to far off. All I can see is her maniacal grin as she applies the cables to Remington's face. He thought he was safe in Canada. No one is safe.

[navkat]

ELECTRONIC DOOM! YAAAAAAAAY!

[Luna]

I find this all strangely comforting.  And am oddly unconcerned that I read this just before going to sleep after slightly more alcohol than I generally allow myself when home alone.

[Juana]

You know what's really going to suck when Secret Agent Garbo sells us all down the river to certain government agencies after the Non-Compliance Act of 2041. Some of us, those who are less careful, are going to wake up with black bags around our heads and the smell of urine not to far off. All I can see is her maniacal grin as she applies the cables to Remington's face. He thought he was safe in Canada. No one is safe.

I should start taking notes.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You know what's really going to suck when Secret Agent Garbo sells us all down the river to certain government agencies after the Non-Compliance Act of 2041. Some of us, those who are less careful, are going to wake up with black bags around our heads and the smell of urine not to far off. All I can see is her maniacal grin as she applies the cables to Remington's face. He thought he was safe in Canada. No one is safe.

I should start taking notes.

I never trusted you.  You go on hikes in BIG groups, and come back in LITTLE groups, and the coyotes are all fat & sassy up in your neck of the woods.  YOU DON'T FOOL ME WITH YOUR RAVE-DANCING AND YOUR WEIRD FRIENDS THAT DANCE LIKE THEY HAVE NO ELBOWS, YOUNG LADY!

[Juana]

It's not like I lie about my intentions, Roger. "Oh, yeah, most of you probably won't come back. And there's a reason why the coyotes are following us like sharks after a trash boat. It's because as soon as we're near an appropriate ledge, I'm going to throw you overboard, so to speak." If they laugh instead of believing me, well. *shrug* I warned 'em.

And I guess you guys got advanced warning, too, thanks to Alty.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

It's not like I lie about my intentions, Roger. "Oh, yeah, most of you probably won't come back. And there's a reason why the coyotes are following us like sharks after a trash boat. It's because as soon as we're near an appropriate ledge, I'm going to throw you overboard, so to speak." If they laugh instead of believing me, well. *shrug* I warned 'em.

And I guess you guys got advanced warning, too, thanks to Alty.

Well, who would believe it?  They probably chuckle a bit and say "SHE SO CRAZY", but then they're freestyling off the side of a ravine with no parachute.  Or it's "Here, hold this anvil", or "Smoke a bit of this, it'll make you nutso", or "does this smell like chloroform?"

I'd call the authorities, but it occurs to me that anything that empties out Fresno is a public service.

I think we all need to take a minute and reflect on all that we owe Garbo.

[BadBeast]

I had a whole bunch of leaked spoilers (Being from so far in the future and all) that I was going to share here, about the giant Scarab Beetles that live under the sand in Arizona, and the soon to be opened Minehead to Montauk Atlantic tunnel. But due to my 'outing' ITT, I have to run some trans-temporal security protocols first. Of course, I'll have wipe your memory with some hypnogogically strobing gifs, then reboot your brains with jump leads, my Tractor, and Windows Vista.  But I'm sure we can get all that done nice and quickly, with a minimum of  agonising, searing hot pain. Didn't Alty say in the OP that I "was to be trusted"? "In all things?"

Oh. Well, don't say you weren't warned.   

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I'm afraid we don't have time for that, Navkat. I have the strangest feeling that your eventual blossoming into pure electronic funk will be taking place sooner than later. It will happen a few weeks after the point where your dancing can simply no longer be stopped. They will try to stop you, they will try to save themselves by the beat-down. But they will all melt like butter (literally) at the sheer force that transforms you into electronic doom.

Twid, who will kill Bono in front of millions of people during a duel, will attempt to thwart this becoming because it threatens the fabric of sound itself and he would like to ask some more questions. He will lose much in this epic battle, not the least of all his beard, and he will not win. Though people will sing his praises and his songs and remember that guy who finally got fucking rid of bono.

I like a rare U2 song. But I like my Irish music folk and I like my rock either British or American. And I like my Metal from anywhere.

I accept this duel and I will take this one in honor of Phil Lynott, the first Irish rock star.

Fuck that Bono guy. He's too busy saving the world to not put out shitty music.