Self-indulgent angry bitching by a lurker, feel free to disregard

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Eh, can I throw in there "can't finish college because I can't afford the loans I already have" doesn't make any sense?

Since you don't have to start paying them back until you're out of school, stop now, and you have loans and NO benefit whatsoever. Finish, and you have more loans, but also a college degree, and being in school is usually accepted as a valid reason for not working. You're unemployed anyway, what else are you going to do with your time?

Also, you had my sympathy right up to the point where you started complaining about the people who are helping you not helping you enough. Don't want them to complain? Don't accept their help.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I recently went through some long-term unemployment and I attribute my escape to quite a bit of luck, a sense of humor, leaving the oldest job off my resume, and developing a more "professional" demeanor.

Keeping your sense of humor will go a long way. I heard the same shit about not having a job because, "I'm not trying hard enough," even though I constantly got up at 6am to schlep myself at employers all day.

My recourse was to imagine the people saying these sort of things were 1930's animated cartoon characters that made rhythmic honking and clattering noises which were synced to a ridiculous walk. When they got mad and wanted to guilt trip me, I pictured them simultaneously taking enormous clanging dumps in their pants.

A well timed "ah-WOOGA" can deflate the nastiest of screeds, let me tell you.

[CorbeauEtRenard]

Just to clarify, the student loan stuff is probably one of the more short term of my problems, since even a small windfall at this point would get me to the point where the minimum payments would start shrinking and thus there'd be a lot more money going into paying off the principal.
I just have this thing (maybe it's irrational and I should get over it, it's entirely possible) where I am extremely leery of taking on more debt when I'm already relying on my parents' good will to make the minimum payments on the debt I already have. Especially if it's more of the same kind of debt.
I'm sure there's some cognitive bias about sunk costs or excessive risk-averse-ness on my part there, I'm just not sure what it is exactly.
I'm more concerned by the fact that college graduates are competing for minimum wage jobs around here. I am still weighing the go-back-to-school option, especially now that it the possibility that our financial issues could potentially be resolved by summer or mid-fall is pretty much vanishingly small.
I hadn't given that option as much weight so far because I was still holding out hope that we'd be able to get things fixed faster.



And I apologize, in the middle of venting I got into a bit of hyperbole about whether people are helping.
I really do appreciate any help I get. I can never repay my gratitude to my parents for letting me move back in or fiance's parents for doing the same for him.
In the heat of the moment, having multiple new problems fall in my lap when I still hadn't come to terms with the last set yet, I forgot that and only focused on the counterproductive or nonproductive efforts they've made.


Thanks for keeping me honest.
And thanks for the legitimate constructive criticism. I'm used to the "Well it should be easy, you must not be trying" crap.
I can actually identify my mistakes from what you've said, and while it feels bad to know I made one, it's at least a step toward fixing them.

Speaking of which, I think I need to change my sig. Cynicism about self-improvement suddenly doesn't seem so healthy at the moment...

[navkat]

Where do you live? I have to agree with ECH here: a restaurant job should be relatively easy to get, despite your resume. Nobody will care about your fuckups.

I have a friend with ADHD, a drinking problem, a self-discipline problem, no car and depression who pretty much fucked up every job as a paralegal he had. He got fired from or quit several bicycle delivery positions he had because he'd fuck off of fail to show up.

He managed to get one of the more reputable kitchens in New Orleans to hire him and took it seriously even though it was a shit job to start. He moved out of the apartment he had where his less-affected roomates were partying all the time, found himself a cheap place in Gentilly and has moved up: I think he's a saucier now for Arnaud's. He still struggles to get his ass out of bed every morning and go but he loves his job because it gave him a second chance and it's really hard to be a fuck up in a restaurant unless you're dishonest, don't learn from mistakes or act like a prick when someone's trying to teach you.

He sometimes has to beg and borrow to get his Rx ADD medication that costs him over $80 a month...that was BEFORE the Adderall shortage. He frequently has to do favors and beg for a ride to Metairie to get his script filled. He lives like an addict in a sense: every single day, he has to psyche himself up out of bed to go about the difficult business of living without succumbing to the shit that fucks him up.

The point is: you can do this. If he could do it with all the shit-weight he carries around every day he wakes up, you can. Do it. Survive and thrive, my friend. It's hard, I feel ya.

Hang in there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Shit actually is really hard right now; people who are acting like it's easy are totally disconnected from reality.

However, I have to say, going back to school is possibly the best thing you could do right now, especially if you go into healthcare or science. Sure, you'll have more student loans, but you'll probably also have a job that pays more than $8/hr.

[CorbeauEtRenard]

Lincoln, NE.

The biggest problem is that since the economy went to shit, most of the fresh college graduates that would normally brain-drain away to other states are just taking whatever they can get in town instead.

For a long time I was doing just fine and being successful without having to finish my degree, that ain't the case anymore.

I know I'll always manage to squeak by like I always have, so there's not quite the same sense of dread as there could be.
Plus I have good relationships, even if some of them are with parents who get rather annoying sometimes when they assume that the reason fiance and I haven't become successful again and move back out is because we're somehow content with circumstances that would drive them to drink if they had to deal with it.

Honestly I kind of feel bad about feeling the need to vent in the first place, since fiance's sister has been raising two babies while her husband is deployed. But then I have to remind myself that even smaller suffering is still suffering and it's unreasonable to expect someone with a meat-brain and physiological stress responses to not freak out about it from time to time.


One of the two meaningful values I learned from growing up Christian is, "Everybody is human and fallible, do your best not to hold that against them.  And don't forget, you're part of 'everybody,' too."
Sometimes I just have to be reminded of that last part.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

If you're willing to relocate, finish school, go to grad school, and start applying for jobs before you graduate.

For the record, financial analysts in healthcare are in very high demand, and it's really unlikely that demand will be met anytime soon because almost nobody gets (or thinks of wanting) training for that. An undergrad in statistics and a masters of public health, and you can cruise right into a county job in most places, and a $60-70k health organization job after a few years of experience.

Also for the record: GIS was hot a few years ago, but there are too many GIS graduates out there now.