That little extra Holiness™ for Leln

[The Good Reverend Roger]

There is only one person that scares the pee out of Roger, and that person is Leln.  Her smile is all sharp and she never says anything unless she has anything TO say, and that's against God.  I mean, physically, she's not very intimidating.  She's reasonably tall, slim, not at all frightening...Until she looks at you, and then it's hahahaha where did all my skin go?

She's some sort of archivist, and they've all been deadly as fuck since the Middle Ages, when they had to fight vikings off with nothing more than a copy of Bede for a shield, and a stunned Welshman for a club.  She can walk through walls.  I don't mean like a ghost or anything, she just ploughs right through.  Her sensei was the Koolaid dude, or so I am told.

We all know how badass Richter is, right?  Well, he's just the EMPTY SHELL that she was GESTATED IN.  Her badass was so incredible that the eggshell animated, and that's where HE came from.  And she had to go backwards in time to do it...Which is no great feat in her profession.  They spend all damn day 150 years ago, and they GET PAID for it.  And they get a coffee break, which is more than the average wage-slave gets nowadays.  Yuo cannot afford.

Leln is the reason that the tides go out.  She scares the ocean.  Just a glower, and millions of tiny sea creatures are trapped on the beach to die of asphyxiation.  Some say she feeds on their life essence.  When she goes home, the tides wait for a bit (in case she's shamming), and then they come back in, exhausted from standing upright all day.

Leln is the only person here who MAKES ANY SENSE, and she's had it up to HERE with OUR BULLSHIT.  And she's going to kill us all, very soon.  Do not run; you will only die tired.  Just put your affairs in order, and hope that she's bored by the time she gets to you, so it won't be too "interesting" of a death.

YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.

[Luna]

They say that if you live a good life, and don't dog-ear pages, before she drinks your soul, she will bake for you.

Best not to ask what the special ingredients in the brownies are, though...  Just smile (if you can make your face move, that is), eat them, and pray she is appeased (for now) by your enjoyment, and the thin that she harvests from your consumption.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

They say that if you live a good life, and don't dog-ear pages, before she drinks your soul, she will bake for you.

Best not to ask what the special ingredients in the brownies are, though...  Just smile (if you can make your face move, that is), eat them, and pray she is appeased (for now) by your enjoyment, and the thin that she harvests from your consumption.

And you will BEG her for the PRIVILEGE.

[leln]

Aww, you guys are making me blush.

By the way Roger, did you ever dole out Halloween-related Holiness? I showed my supervisor the picture of me as Susan B. Anthony today, and only received a nervous laugh for my pains. I suppose she was lucky that when I got to work that day the building was unexpectedly closed due to storm damage (true story). I believe that Luna and possibly a couple others fulfilled their missions as well. If you've already put out for this, please post a link because I obviously missed the main event. If not, I'll continue to give you the benefit of the doubt. Because I like you.

Ahem. It's like one of my Library Science professors pointed out during my first semester. Look at any city that hasn't been razed to the ground in the last two hundred years or so, or the older college campuses in the U.S. The library is always located at the right hand of either a place of worship or the Admin building. Coincidence?

Even if there's a revolution, when the dissidents have sense they preserve us. Why? We fucking remember. We'll tell you your fifth child's parentage or birthday when you don't remember who you banged that night. And if you play your cards right, we'll help you the way we helped the old regime. You little fuckers can fight over presentation and spin. We know what actually happened, recognize that a depressing amount of history resembles a pendulum, and will do what we can to ensure that truth survives when you don't. Target us at your own peril. Norse mythology should give you a clue. Losing Thought means you're fucked, but losing Memory is worse.

For the record, the Koolaid dude wasn't my sensei. He was a fellow student, who got kicked out and resorted to advertisements to fund his addictions. The rest of us consider him dealt with sans intervention. Why waste the effort quickening a downward spiral?  A slow decline provides more opportunities for laughs and drinking games.

And are you two making fun of my baking? But, Luna, you said you LIKED it. And I never fed Roger my baked goods, I brought him fabulous broccoli instead because I was trying to respect his diet.  I think my feelings might be hurt.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Aww, you guys are making me blush.

By the way Roger, did you ever dole out Halloween-related Holiness?

This was the first installment.  The second is in the spring when I bring you and Luna a little token of my esteem.

[Luna]

And are you two making fun of my baking? But, Luna, you said you LIKED it. And I never fed Roger my baked goods, I brought him fabulous broccoli instead because I was trying to respect his diet.  I think my feelings might be hurt.

I adore your baking.  (The last batch of three different brownies were epic, the Oreo ones, particularly.)  I strongly suspect that every ounce I put on comes directly off of your frame through some sort of alchemy which I one day hope to discover and inflict on unsuspecting individuals, myself.  I think some of it might be transferable through contact...  Suu found a set of measurements from me from a couple years ago, back when I was doing Weight Watchers and being harangued to lose MORE weight.  I've actually LOST an inch and a half off my hips since then, and haven't done anything to do it.  Plz to teach me more?   

Don't kill me.

[leln]

And are you two making fun of my baking? But, Luna, you said you LIKED it. And I never fed Roger my baked goods, I brought him fabulous broccoli instead because I was trying to respect his diet.  I think my feelings might be hurt.

I adore your baking.  (The last batch of three different brownies were epic, the Oreo ones, particularly.)  I strongly suspect that every ounce I put on comes directly off of your frame through some sort of alchemy which I one day hope to discover and inflict on unsuspecting individuals, myself.  I think some of it might be transferable through contact...  Suu found a set of measurements from me from a couple years ago, back when I was doing Weight Watchers and being harangued to lose MORE weight.  I've actually LOST an inch and a half off my hips since then, and haven't done anything to do it.  Plz to teach me more?   

Don't kill me.

The supposed alchemy has more to do with cardio 4-6 days a week and controlling caloric intake. The exercise also has the happy effect of significantly reducing the frequency of tension migraines. When you see me pigging out at Meatups, I've usually tried to be extra good for a week or three prior. I've gained weight since you last saw me-I was getting dizzy going down steep flights of stairs, and I realized that I can't afford to get sick and miss class [$$$]. My doctor is happier with me, now I just need to figure out a sustainable break-even routine.

Which Oreo brownies, the Oreo-stuffed or the white chocolate cookies 'n cream batch? The original three batches were Rocky Road, s'mores and s'mores stuffed (my personal favorite). I have some ideas for Blasphemy Brownies Mark III, I'll inflict them on you guys sometime.

[Luna]

The Oreo stuffed were my own favorite (for which I retaliated with the truffles, which I assume Richter delivered, rather than devouring in an orgy of chocolate on the way there).

I prefer to believe in alchemy.     My only cardio is getting chased around by large men weilding swords, and I have been slacking off too much, lately.

We need to do that get together soon, and test run some recipes for when Roger visits. 

Roger?  Any baked good preferences from you or the ladies?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The Oreo stuffed were my own favorite (for which I retaliated with the truffles, which I assume Richter delivered, rather than devouring in an orgy of chocolate on the way there).

I prefer to believe in alchemy.     My only cardio is getting chased around by large men weilding swords, and I have been slacking off too much, lately.

We need to do that get together soon, and test run some recipes for when Roger visits. 

Roger?  Any baked good preferences from you or the ladies?

For the ladies, perhaps.

Okay, here's the deal:  Keelin's last day is the 23rd of May, not at the beginning of May.  Therefore, we will be coming in on the 29th of May, and departing on the following Monday (June 4th).

I think we can consider those dates as being written in stone.

[Luna]

The Oreo stuffed were my own favorite (for which I retaliated with the truffles, which I assume Richter delivered, rather than devouring in an orgy of chocolate on the way there).

I prefer to believe in alchemy.     My only cardio is getting chased around by large men weilding swords, and I have been slacking off too much, lately.

We need to do that get together soon, and test run some recipes for when Roger visits. 

Roger?  Any baked good preferences from you or the ladies?

For the ladies, perhaps.

Okay, here's the deal:  Keelin's last day is the 23rd of May, not at the beginning of May.  Therefore, we will be coming in on the 29th of May, and departing on the following Monday (June 4th).

I think we can consider those dates as being written in stone.

Works just fine!

[Richter]

Leln has never taken the piss, and has in fact given lessons on the subject to the Foakley sunglass hustlers in central park.  They all pulled up desks and sat, hands folded, perfect and polite.  Now remember, this was in the middle of New York.

When she's really on something important, now and then, and only if it's a matter of TRUE national gravitas, she'll get this sick little smile, and propose something insane, and in her favor.  Just to convey the feeling that she's only negotiating about the bombs for fun, and may as well watch it burn. 

There are no more Type A personalities in her office.  She shamed them out of it by being better than them, and knowing when to Slack^tm.

She's produced jewelery the both Tolkien high elves, Eldar, or Protoss would be proud to own.  That's just the aesthetic she rolls with.

She keeps a binder full of 101 blasphemies in the kitchen.  Not "just in case", like some lesser OMNOMomancers might, but for common use. 

Leln once called up the demon while verifying a primary source.  When it appeared and demanded tribute it was told to "bugger off, I was verifying the data."  The devil said "oh.  Ok." and left.