Author Topic: It has come to my ATTN.  (Read 2292 times)

B_M_W

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It has come to my ATTN.
« on: March 04, 2012, 08:43:23 pm »
It recently came to my attention that these FUCKING ASSHOLES which I railed against so long ago are still on my planet. Thus I have returned because my wrath is elongate, phaliform and flabellate, and it will not be quenched.


ITT: You supply me with items to fuel my ragemobile. I supply the rage.
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0


6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Deepthroat Chopra

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2012, 01:35:35 pm »


See? Dey wuz do-mess-tik!
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Richter

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2012, 01:58:00 pm »
 :argh!:
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2012, 02:14:40 pm »
It's on jewelry, so it must be true!


Cain

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2012, 02:48:59 pm »
BMW: British Catholic bishop compares gay marriage to legalised slavery, and doubles down on the comparison when called on it.  Comments?

B_M_W

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2012, 02:59:42 pm »
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg/800px-Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg

See? Dey wuz do-mess-tik!

It's on jewelry, so it must be true!

http://rlv.zcache.com/jesus_christ_rides_an_awesome_dinosaur_necklace-p177487306932088038z8n8j_400.jpg

Yeah, if you're a FUCKING RETARD.

What is so hard about 65 million years of separation for these brain damaged zealots to understand? Oh right, BRAIN DAMAGE.

What I'd really like to see is them shoving these saddles so far up their asses they go back in time and get eaten by a feathered Velociraptor. And just at the moment their entrails are being ripped out, they will think, "Wait, dinosaurs didn't have feathers! This wasn't in the bible!" DAMN RIGHT IT WASN'T IN YOUR WASTE OF PULP SHIT STAINED WORSHIP ITEM. YOU GOT EATEN BY A JESUS HORSE, NOW THAT'S DIVINE COMEDY.

Of course, the shit stained waste of pulp has some comedy of it's own, aside from all the genocide that never happened. Take chapter 30 of Genesis, which has to be the most hilarious take on genetic crossing I have ever seen.

Quote
37 And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree; and pilled white streaks in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
38    And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
39    And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ring-streaked, speckled, and spotted.
40    And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ring-streaked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban; and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban's cattle.
41    And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods.

Only there do you find cattle crossed with spotted rods. WITH SPOTTED RODS. YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. I wonder if we could make all these fuckers conceive before gay men, and give the world more fabulous.
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0


6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Bebek Sincap Ratatosk

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2012, 03:06:05 pm »
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg/800px-Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg

See? Dey wuz do-mess-tik!

It's on jewelry, so it must be true!

http://rlv.zcache.com/jesus_christ_rides_an_awesome_dinosaur_necklace-p177487306932088038z8n8j_400.jpg

Yeah, if you're a FUCKING RETARD.

What is so hard about 65 million years of separation for these brain damaged zealots to understand? Oh right, BRAIN DAMAGE.

What I'd really like to see is them shoving these saddles so far up their asses they go back in time and get eaten by a feathered Velociraptor. And just at the moment their entrails are being ripped out, they will think, "Wait, dinosaurs didn't have feathers! This wasn't in the bible!" DAMN RIGHT IT WASN'T IN YOUR WASTE OF PULP SHIT STAINED WORSHIP ITEM. YOU GOT EATEN BY A JESUS HORSE, NOW THAT'S DIVINE COMEDY.

Of course, the shit stained waste of pulp has some comedy of it's own, aside from all the genocide that never happened. Take chapter 30 of Genesis, which has to be the most hilarious take on genetic crossing I have ever seen.

Quote
37 And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree; and pilled white streaks in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
38    And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
39    And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ring-streaked, speckled, and spotted.
40    And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ring-streaked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban; and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban's cattle.
41    And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods.

Only there do you find cattle crossed with spotted rods. WITH SPOTTED RODS. YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. I wonder if we could make all these fuckers conceive before gay men, and give the world more fabulous.

Shhh, the Bible is SCIENCE!!!
- I don't see race. I just see cars going around in a circle.

"Back in my day, crazy meant something. Now everyone is crazy" - Charlie Manson

B_M_W

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2012, 03:12:58 pm »
BMW: British Catholic bishop compares gay marriage to legalised slavery, and doubles down on the comparison when called on it.  Comments?

BREAKING: BMW COMPARES ORDAINED PRIESTS TO PEDOPHILES AND ADMITS IT'S REDUNDANT WHEN CALLED ON IT.

But really, you can't take the catholic church seriously anymore. No more inqusition, no more massive papal armies. They front that contraceptives are sinful and yet no USAdian catholic listens to that. No really, 98% use contraceptives, whether that be french ticklers, pills or anything in between. They're as ineffectual as the British royal family, and not nearly as funny.

Besides, they're right in a way. Priests are gay for their god, and their work is a sort of legalized slavery to the church. HA!

Change that headline to BREAKING: CATHOLIC PRIESTS GAY SEX SLAVES TO JEHOVAH, ENJOY S&M.
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0


6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

B_M_W

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2012, 03:14:24 pm »
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/27/Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg/800px-Creation_museum_triceratops_saddle.jpg

See? Dey wuz do-mess-tik!

It's on jewelry, so it must be true!

http://rlv.zcache.com/jesus_christ_rides_an_awesome_dinosaur_necklace-p177487306932088038z8n8j_400.jpg

Yeah, if you're a FUCKING RETARD.

What is so hard about 65 million years of separation for these brain damaged zealots to understand? Oh right, BRAIN DAMAGE.

What I'd really like to see is them shoving these saddles so far up their asses they go back in time and get eaten by a feathered Velociraptor. And just at the moment their entrails are being ripped out, they will think, "Wait, dinosaurs didn't have feathers! This wasn't in the bible!" DAMN RIGHT IT WASN'T IN YOUR WASTE OF PULP SHIT STAINED WORSHIP ITEM. YOU GOT EATEN BY A JESUS HORSE, NOW THAT'S DIVINE COMEDY.

Of course, the shit stained waste of pulp has some comedy of it's own, aside from all the genocide that never happened. Take chapter 30 of Genesis, which has to be the most hilarious take on genetic crossing I have ever seen.

Quote
37 And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chestnut tree; and pilled white streaks in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
38    And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
39    And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ring-streaked, speckled, and spotted.
40    And Jacob did separate the lambs, and set the faces of the flocks toward the ring-streaked, and all the brown in the flock of Laban; and he put his own flocks by themselves, and put them not unto Laban's cattle.
41    And it came to pass, whensoever the stronger cattle did conceive, that Jacob laid the rods before the eyes of the cattle in the gutters, that they might conceive among the rods.

Only there do you find cattle crossed with spotted rods. WITH SPOTTED RODS. YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP. I wonder if we could make all these fuckers conceive before gay men, and give the world more fabulous.

Shhh, the Bible is SCIENCE!!!

Yes, that's why Yahweh invented central plumbing, IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING BIBLE DON'T YOU SEE, IAMFULLOVSHIT 1:3.
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0


6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

navkat

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2012, 05:43:21 pm »
Why do the toe-socks never account for the fact that the baby toe is usually lower and more crunched-up? Is  this an attempt to disenfranchise the most diminutive, helpless toes on the foot by the bigger, more well-off toes?

Also, have you noticed that while the big toes are the fattest and get the most allocated sock-space, it's the second toe that's usually taller and invariably the first one to run into stuff and is therefore, most likely smarter and more knowledgeable? I mean, it's always the "top 20%" who seem to hold the most sway on how things go in the shoe.

Deepthroat Chopra

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #10 on: March 05, 2012, 10:40:11 pm »
Just like this nameless creationist missionary tells me, I've "girded my loins with truth".

 http://www.creationworldview.org/articles_view.asp?id=31

He/She lists 30 reasons why evolution is completely wrong! That's like, 20 more than the 10 commandments, brother! I started reading them, but then skipped to the end, where he/she points out the reasons don;t matter anyway, because -

Stand firm, therefore, having girded your loins with truth [in part, the knowledge of the truths of creation science], and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the evil one. [If we have our minds right, then false arguments will have no effect on us.]

Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. [Use the Berean method of proof. If it doesn't line up with Gods word, then it is to be rejected.]



So, argue your fancy-pants science. You'll just get smacked around with the sword of the spirit; if only I can find that breast-plate of righteousness. I think I lent it to a neighbour...

I'm glad I've discovered the Berean method of truth. Makes it sound kind of intellectual, but not too intelllectual to sound like one of them liberal college professors!
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Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2012, 11:45:53 pm »
I just want my boots of godkicking.
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Don't fucking judge me, I've got tentacles for a face.

Deepthroat Chopra

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2012, 12:38:21 am »
I just want my boots of godkicking.

Have you looked under my cod-piece of ignorance?
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Random Probability

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Re: It has come to my ATTN.
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2012, 12:56:44 am »
I just want my boots of godkicking.

Have you looked under my cod-piece of ignorance?
No, the Cod-Piece of Ignorance is currently hanging off the Stick of Enlightenment I stole borrowed from BMW a while back.