YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I'd drive to Canada with your friends.

I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.

You are SIGNED ON.

I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase.  Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.

Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise.  People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.

I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out.

EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!

Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.

For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.

As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.

O PLS O PLS O PLS!!!!!

AND YOUTUBE IT! 

[Cain]

People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.

Yeah, I've made a policy of that, IRL.  Also, people who think my aid is somehow a given. 

And another one:  People who want you to help them move...But then make themselves scarce when they hear YOU'RE moving soon.

Lastly, I remember once upon a time, getting a PM from Lauren that said something like "Can you maybe post your sermons each week and then leave?"  That was a classic.

I had a lot of angry texts last week.  Apparently I'm a complete bastard for wanting back some books I lent 14 months ago, and asked for multiple times, and was flat out ignored all of those times. I had a "bad tone" which "didn't merit a response".  Apparently helping someone through the majority of their degree, despite being desperately broke, looking for work all day, being chased by welfare officers, having bailiffs looking for me etc doesn't really count for anything, not even a "thank you" after graduation, and certainly not anything like answering my phone calls or bothering to talk to me more than once every three months.  And asking politely, several dozen times, for my expensive textbooks to be returned, several months after they could be of any use?  What a monster.

As for the friend who vanishes for weeks at a time, then only reappears when she needs a place to crash, or wants me to sort out her fucking atrocious, over-examined, train-wreck of a social life, or wants help on a paper for the degree it's taking her twice the normal time to complete...well, she's been told to suck it up as well.

I forgot one of the most important of the 48 Rules of Power.  Surrounding myself with these kind of people is just leading to unnecessary stomach ulcers and wasted time.  And lost books, apparently, which I'm still pissed about.  I might have to throw a smoke grenade through her window when I'm next in the area.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'd drive to Canada with your friends.

I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.

You are SIGNED ON.

I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase.  Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.

Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise.  People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.

I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out.

EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!

Only if I get to eat loads of veggies first.

Oh, that's a GIVEN. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'd drive to Canada with your friends.

I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.

You are SIGNED ON.

I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase.  Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.

Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise.  People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.

I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out.

EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!

Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.

For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.

As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.

OOOH. YES.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Cain, I have a friend to whom I lent a couple of CDs, including a very hard to replace Hawaiian CD that I loved, and a rather expensive space heater. Eventually, after being stalled on the return of these items for YEARS on the premise that she was "still using them", I realized that not only was I not going to give them back, but that she never had any intention of returning them.

The last time she asked me if she could borrow something, I told her that she could, as soon as she returned the other things she had borrowed. I almost never hear from her anymore... although, amazingly, a couple of weeks ago she asked me what I thought of her entering a "financially beneficial" relationship with an older man. I told her exactly what I think, and she never responded. 

[Doktor Howl]

I'd drive to Canada with your friends.

I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.

You are SIGNED ON.

I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase.  Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.

Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise.  People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.

I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out.

EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!

Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.

For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.

As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.

OOOH. YES.

I'm free until 8 PM on weeknights, any time on weekends, and the only compensation I ask for is the impotent rage of your "friends".

[Freeky]

Cain and Nigel's friends are dicks.

In addition to throwing a wobbler, start asking them for things every time you talk to them.  Only talk to them if you want something, or ask them to do stuff when you know they've got important things to do that must be done.  Turn it back on them.  They probably won't realize the irony, but it'll be funny.

[Cain]

I ended up telling that friend to "keep the damn books, but delete this number".  I've bought newer replacements, some of which have arrived today.  I can afford it, but it's the principle, of the thing, of course.  The books are really just the tip of the iceberg, which is the way I've been essentially discarded from her social circle since she's graduated and no longer needs to message me at 11pm, panicked and near-crying about a due paper.  I'm no longer useful, so why talk to me?

That's what stings.  That and the presumption of a friendship which never existed.

[Doktor Howl]

I ended up telling that friend to "keep the damn books, but delete this number".  I've bought newer replacements, some of which have arrived today.  I can afford it, but it's the principle, of the thing, of course.  The books are really just the tip of the iceberg, which is the way I've been essentially discarded from her social circle since she's graduated and no longer needs to message me at 11pm, panicked and near-crying about a due paper.  I'm no longer useful, so why talk to me?

That's what stings.  That and the presumption of a friendship which never existed.

Oh, yeah.  I'd never acknowledge her existence again.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Sometimes you just have to TAKE it back. And if they won't answer the door, I've had friends they WOULD let in bring me over. Then I'd hang out until they stop being uncomfortable and it gets boring and say, "Well, see ya later. I'm taking my cd/book/bike."

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'd drive to Canada with your friends.

I can repeat "are we nearly there yet" for hours on end.

You are SIGNED ON.

I once nearly managed to get my own father to punch me through persistent use of that phrase.  Before we'd even started the car, on a 12 hour drive down from Scotland.

Also, I've disowned a lot of my so-called friends lately, so I can sympathise.  People who only talk to me when they want something = cut off.

I would really love to have a road trip that included you, Alty, Roger, and ECH in a big van with my friends. I think that would do a GREAT job of weeding them out.

EXTREME DISCOMFORT TAG TEAM... GO!

Referring them to GIGGLES would probably also have the desired effect.

For serious, though, Nigel needs to patch me in on speaker phone one of these days.

As either her spiritual advisor or her attorney.

OOOH. YES.

I'm free until 8 PM on weeknights, any time on weekends, and the only compensation I ask for is the impotent rage of your "friends".

Noted. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I ended up telling that friend to "keep the damn books, but delete this number".  I've bought newer replacements, some of which have arrived today.  I can afford it, but it's the principle, of the thing, of course.  The books are really just the tip of the iceberg, which is the way I've been essentially discarded from her social circle since she's graduated and no longer needs to message me at 11pm, panicked and near-crying about a due paper.  I'm no longer useful, so why talk to me?

That's what stings.  That and the presumption of a friendship which never existed.

I've had that happen before. And yep, it really does sting.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Cain and Nigel's friends are dicks.

In addition to throwing a wobbler, start asking them for things every time you talk to them.  Only talk to them if you want something, or ask them to do stuff when you know they've got important things to do that must be done.  Turn it back on them.  They probably won't realize the irony, but it'll be funny.

My favorite solution, so far, is to just not talk to them anymore. 

[Salty]

As to OP:

There's something about people who want to have a certain lifestyle so badly they just don't want to accept that they need to change their behavior. "Oh my life is wonderful! I'm so happy. I do THIS and I do THAT and it fulfills me." Yet these people often ignore the very real things that are required for an adult to stand on their own two feet. What's hilarious about this is that I used to be one of these people. Now I'm just tired because I must do it all. Do me a favor and make my life easier and better and I will do the same. Yeah? No? OK. Let's just drop everything and party. Sorry. Yeah. Uh-huh.

I guard my time ruthlessly with people IRL. I had a guy come over when I should have been doing homework and repeatedly ask me a question then ignore the answer in favor giving homage to his phone. "I had a great time." I didn't fuck off forever AND GIVE ME $20 ASSFACE FOR MY TIME FUCK YOU.

Yeah.

[Doktor Howl]

As to OP:

There's something about people who want to have a certain lifestyle so badly they just don't want to accept that they need to change their behavior. "Oh my life is wonderful! I'm so happy. I do THIS and I do THAT and it fulfills me." Yet these people often ignore the very real things that are required for an adult to stand on their own two feet. What's hilarious about this is that I used to be one of these people. Now I'm just tired because I must do it all. Do me a favor and make my life easier and better and I will do the same. Yeah? No? OK. Let's just drop everything and party. Sorry. Yeah. Uh-huh.

I guard my time ruthlessly with people IRL. I had a guy come over when I should have been doing homework and repeatedly ask me a question then ignore the answer in favor giving homage to his phone. "I had a great time." I didn't fuck off forever AND GIVE ME $20 ASSFACE FOR MY TIME FUCK YOU.

Yeah.

What I love most about Alty is his calm, Buddha-like demeanor.