Join Us. Don't Be Afraid.

[Doktor Howl]

I love this fucking town.  The horrible, dystopian science fiction appearance, the future that we were never warned about...The junkies, the overtired cops, the long-faced EMTs trying to light their cigarettes with shaking hands.  The sun, grinding down on you like the very fist of God.

That doesn't sound very lovable, of course, but what IS lovable is that Tucson is honest with you about everything.  What you see is what you get.  There is no veneer of glitz that you get in places like Reno or Vegas.  There is no pretense that it's somehow this neat little city in the desert.

It is the desert.

The other thing that makes this place great is that, since everyone here is crazy in one way or another, you can have fun.  The kind of fun that would get you thrown in prison anywhere else, on account of felony carrying on.

You want to blast through alleys at 60MPH?  Great...Just watch out for the other guy doing the same thing the other way.  You want to go monstering the boutique crowd in the legal district?  You won't be alone.

It's awful and it's horrible, and the people are insane and may attack you for no reason.  But it's Tucson, and she loves you.  Come to Tucson.  It's as good a place as any to die, and from up here, you have a first class view of Western civilization sliding into the ocean, on either side.

We're just as doomed as the rest of you, but we're comfortable with that.  We're acclimatized.

Come to Tucson.

Okay forever,
Dok

[navkat]

OFCUK. I have the strangest feeling I'm reading a travel bochure for the next 10 years of my life.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I love Tucson. 

[Doktor Howl]

I love Tucson. 

There's no choice, really.

[Doktor Howl]

OFCUK. I have the strangest feeling I'm reading a travel bochure for the next 10 years of my life.

Just think of it...You'll get more practical experience as an EMT than you could get anywhere outside of Afghanistan.

[East Coast Hustle]

If Tucson only had a waterfront with some seedy docks it would be the perfect place.

[Doktor Howl]

If Tucson only had a waterfront with some seedy docks it would be the perfect place.

Good point.

Somewhere in the "river"¹ there's the bones of an old steamer, but that's the closest we come.



¹  In Tucson, a "river" is a place where water used to be.  Except in monsoon season, when it's a place where you get sucked right off the bank and ground into tiny bits before you can even drown properly.  Bodies recovered from these floods have to be ID'd with DNA.

[East Coast Hustle]

I once watched a man drown in a flash-flood in an arroyo I had just crossed literally a minute earlier. It was out behind a rest stop in a nature area a few hundred yards north of I-8 about halfway between the Gila Bend cutoff and Yuma. In fact, it was that time I was gonna stop by and see you guys but my timeline got blown up by vehicular issues. Even if I had been carrying any rope with me I doubt I'd have been quick enough to do anything useful with it.

For Tucson to achieve MAXIMUM CITY DENSITY it needs somewhere for sailors to congregate. Port cities are the ultimate frontier towns.

[Doktor Howl]

I once watched a man drown in a flash-flood in an arroyo I had just crossed literally a minute earlier. It was out behind a rest stop in a nature area a few hundred yards north of I-8 about halfway between the Gila Bend cutoff and Yuma. In fact, it was that time I was gonna stop by and see you guys but my timeline got blown up by vehicular issues. Even if I had been carrying any rope with me I doubt I'd have been quick enough to do anything useful with it.

For Tucson to achieve MAXIMUM CITY DENSITY it needs somewhere for sailors to congregate. Port cities are the ultimate frontier towns.

Problem:  Those sailors would take the infection home with them.

We already have the triangle of weird (Providence, Portland, Tucson).  If Seattle got infected, there's no telling how much worse it would get. 

On the other hand, their police might stop acting like fucking Nazis.

[East Coast Hustle]

Heh. Where do you think Portland LEARNED this sort of behavior from? The WEIRD runs so deep in Seattle that comparing it to the Triumvirate of Strange Cities is like comparing LOTR (in full with all appendixes) to the Hunger Games trilogy.

And it's not always a good kind of weird up there either, by anybody's definition of "good".

[East Coast Hustle]

I mean, that's where the term "Skid Row" came from. It's also where America invented the idea of having their government protect them from those damnable scoundrels who would ruin our fine nation with their demands of living wages, health care, and equal treatment.

[Doktor Howl]

Heh. Where do you think Portland LEARNED this sort of behavior from? The WEIRD runs so deep in Seattle that comparing it to the Triumvirate of Strange Cities is like comparing LOTR (in full with all appendixes) to the Hunger Games trilogy.

And it's not always a good kind of weird up there either, by anybody's definition of "good".

Seattle doesn't strike me as weird, so much as "trying too hard", and add a bunch of failed rockers and horrible thugs in uniform.  It's more like LA with more hippie-ass coffee shops.

[Doktor Howl]

Of course, I was only there once.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I've never been except to pass through.

I just associate it with Bumbershoot, the Space Needle, rain, and Kurt Cobain writing a bunch of dark shit and shooting heroin and blowing his face off. 

[East Coast Hustle]

Heh. Where do you think Portland LEARNED this sort of behavior from? The WEIRD runs so deep in Seattle that comparing it to the Triumvirate of Strange Cities is like comparing LOTR (in full with all appendixes) to the Hunger Games trilogy.

And it's not always a good kind of weird up there either, by anybody's definition of "good".

Seattle doesn't strike me as weird, so much as "trying too hard", and add a bunch of failed rockers and horrible thugs in uniform.  It's more like LA with more hippie-ass coffee shops.

On a superficial level you are absolutely correct. But there's a whole lot of ugly, violent, insane shit hanging out in the depths of that town, and the depths there are DEEP.