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Dear Filthy Assistant

Started by Doktor Howl, April 05, 2012, 05:47:58 PM

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Doktor Howl

April 05, 2012, 05:47:58 PM
The safety guy and I have discussed your idea to place a man inside reactor 107 to observe the GIGANTIC GODDAMN AGITATOR starting up in the same tank.

We have concluded that you are in fact senile, or just profoundly stupid.  We have also talked about it, and decided to tattoo "I'M A FUCKING MORON" on your head when you get loaded at this year's Christmas party.

There is a reason you don't manage employees.  For that very same reason, your input on how I manage MY employees is neither solicited or accepted, except as a source of exceptional hilarity.

Yours Truly,
Commander Ringmeat.
Molon Lube

navkat

#1
April 05, 2012, 05:51:25 PM
I lost my shit at the word "observe."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
April 05, 2012, 06:15:06 PM
OH MY GOD  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

How can anybody be that stupid? I don't even know what those words MEAN but I can tell that the answer is no.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Doktor Howl

#3
April 05, 2012, 06:18:57 PM
Quote from: Nigel on April 05, 2012, 06:15:06 PM
OH MY GOD  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

How can anybody be that stupid? I don't even know what those words MEAN but I can tell that the answer is no.

It's a double-walled 5000 gallon tank, with a gigantic mixer blade in it.

The mixer blade is acting weird.

Filthy assistant wanted someone to stand in the tank while the mixer blade started up, to watch and see what it's doing.  Let me say that again:  In addition to the obvious danger, the blade (paddle, really) is ACTING WEIRD.

And there's only 19 inches between the paddle and the wall, and the blade turns at 100 RPM, with about 6000 foot pounds of force.

This is what I have to work with.
Molon Lube

Anna Mae Bollocks

#4
April 05, 2012, 06:22:26 PM
Just the term "reactor" makes me flash on Silkwood.

Even if it's a gigantic fucked up wobbly paddle that turns at 100 RPM with 6000 lbs. of force and nothing radioactive, the gist is there.  :horrormirth:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Doktor Howl

#5
April 05, 2012, 06:23:19 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on April 05, 2012, 06:22:26 PM
Just the term "reactor" makes me flash on Silkwood.

Even if it's a gigantic fucked up wobbly paddle that turns at 100 RPM with 6000 lbs. of force and nothing radioactive, the gist is there.  :horrormirth:

Yeah, it's a chemical reactor, not a nuclear reactor.

Molon Lube

Don Coyote

#6
April 05, 2012, 07:38:34 PM
that's like putting your head in a washingmachine to figure out why it's making funny noises.

Doktor Howl

#7
April 05, 2012, 07:39:41 PM
Quote from: Guru Coyote on April 05, 2012, 07:38:34 PM
that's like putting your head in a washingmachine to figure out why it's making funny noises.

If the washing machine was full of caltrops.
Molon Lube

Freeky

#8
April 05, 2012, 08:05:46 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 05:47:58 PM
place a man inside reactor 107 to observe the GIGANTIC GODDAMN AGITATOR starting up in the same tank.


What.

Bruno

#9
April 05, 2012, 08:28:07 PM
So... did he volunteer to be that guy?
Formerly something else...

Doktor Howl

#10
April 05, 2012, 08:31:14 PM
Quote from: Emo Howard on April 05, 2012, 08:28:07 PM
So... did he volunteer to be that guy?

No. 

But to his credit, he did rant about how the guys who laughed when he brought the idea up were just "lazy" and "didn't want to work".

I haven't actually seen someone go into a spittle-flying rage in a long time. 

It's been a good day.
Molon Lube

Juana

#11
April 05, 2012, 08:52:01 PM
What the hell? :lulz: I feel like you should start up a quotes list - "Stupid shit Filthy Assistant Says" - and post it for all to see, with regular updates.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Doktor Howl

#12
April 05, 2012, 08:52:54 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on April 05, 2012, 08:52:01 PM
What the hell? :lulz: I feel like you should start up a quotes list - "Stupid shit Filthy Assistant Says" - and post it for all to see, with regular updates.

AND THEN DOK HAD CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.
Molon Lube

Freeky

#13
April 05, 2012, 08:54:23 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on April 05, 2012, 08:52:54 PM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on April 05, 2012, 08:52:01 PM
What the hell? :lulz: I feel like you should start up a quotes list - "Stupid shit Filthy Assistant Says" - and post it for all to see, with regular updates.

AND THEN DOK HAD CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.

Just from thinking about it.  :lulz: 

Bruno

#14
April 05, 2012, 09:02:19 PM
Was this guy born naturally stupid, or did he have learn it?
Formerly something else...
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