An email to our IT chief.

[Doktor Howl]

Dear Henry,

Just because you're smarter than GW Bush and whiny as hell and a pretty little princess with a bitchy temperament that spoils your looks doesn't mean JACK to the revenue office.  That dick ain't gonna cut itself off and shit ain't gonna leap INTO your arse spontaneously.  No, you have to hack & stuff on your own, regardless of the number of po'buckers, hobos, and menacing black children in Sanford, Florida that may be arrayed against you.  All you humans are stupid. 

What I'm trying to say is, take the nannywall back off of my computer, you mercenary bastard.

Oh and stop using beer as a Nyquil chaser.  Its making your ears flap like Mothra barnstorming Osaka.

Lusting after your neckbeard,
Captain Tantrum

[Cain]

I think the Neckbeard bit will win him over in the end.  I tried something similar on our IT support, not realising the D was for Daphne, not David.

Needless to say, my work computer is a crippled mess which I cannot even view PDFs on, and I have to hack my boss's account to access our shared database.

[Richter]

 
I am now lusting for the mayhem again.