ATTN ALTY

[Freeky]

PACKAGE RECEIVED!   

[Salty]

Ok, good. Now, this is important: don't open it! It's been coated in what appears to be a fine powder but is in fact an army of nanobots. Inhaling any of these will give you superhuman/supercheetah abilities. It will also make you gain 500lbs of pure liquid mass around your eyeballs unless you wear the safety goggles in the next package.

[Freeky]

Ok, good. Now, this is important: don't open it! It's been coated in what appears to be a fine powder but is in fact an army of nanobots. Inhaling any of these will give you superhuman/supercheetah abilities. It will also make you gain 500lbs of pure liquid mass around your eyeballs unless you wear the safety goggles in the next package.

SHIT.  ME = FUCKED FOREVER.