Listen here you little piece of shit.

[Salty]

Were you unaware? Did you not get the memo?

The reason you care so much about that "fuckin' queer", the reason you have to whisper that to your buddy instead of just saying it so we can all hear what a completely heteronormative lifestyle you lead, the reason your blood-pressure spiked when you saw me is because...well, you want a giant penis deep inside you somewhere.

Yeah. Yeah, no, seriously. They've done studies...

Oh ok. I mean, do what you want but in 20 years when become one of the thousands of men who live here so deeply in the closet you just build giant houses around them don't come crying to me on craigslist when your wife goes out of town you pathetic little PUKE.

I'm supposed to be the pansy, you know.

[Don Coyote]

I love you Alty.

[Cain]

I love you Alty.

But are you fuckin' queer for him?  That is the real question.

[Don Coyote]

I love you Alty.

But are you fuckin' queer for him?  That is the real question.

I thought the "no homo" was implied. Can't be having any one think I want a penis in my anus now can we. It would be scandalous.

[Phox]

I love you Alty.

But are you fuckin' queer for him?  That is the real question.

I thought the "no homo" was implied. Can't be having any one think I want a penis in my anus now can we. It would be scandalous.

Yes, we certainly can't have that rumor flying around willy-nilly. Just think of how all the old ladies would look at you.

In other news, for the OP, I definitely also love you, Alty. (No hetero).

[Don Coyote]

I love you Alty.

But are you fuckin' queer for him?  That is the real question.

I thought the "no homo" was implied. Can't be having any one think I want a penis in my anus now can we. It would be scandalous.

Yes, we certainly can't have that rumor flying around willy-nilly. Just think of how all the old ladies would look at you.

In other news, for the OP, I definitely also love you, Alty. (No hetero).

All joking aside, there is something wrong with a culture that has to define 'love' in and around matters of sexuality and romance, and that has to define romance with matters of sexuality.

[Phox]

I love you Alty.

But are you fuckin' queer for him?  That is the real question.

I thought the "no homo" was implied. Can't be having any one think I want a penis in my anus now can we. It would be scandalous.

Yes, we certainly can't have that rumor flying around willy-nilly. Just think of how all the old ladies would look at you.

In other news, for the OP, I definitely also love you, Alty. (No hetero).

All joking aside, there is something wrong with a culture that has to define 'love' in and around matters of sexuality and romance, and that has to define romance with matters of sexuality.

Yes, it's a fucked up world. But it's the world live in, and these are the hands we're given. (Oh yeah, I totally just went there.)

[Don Coyote]

I love you Alty.

But are you fuckin' queer for him?  That is the real question.

I thought the "no homo" was implied. Can't be having any one think I want a penis in my anus now can we. It would be scandalous.

Yes, we certainly can't have that rumor flying around willy-nilly. Just think of how all the old ladies would look at you.

In other news, for the OP, I definitely also love you, Alty. (No hetero).

All joking aside, there is something wrong with a culture that has to define 'love' in and around matters of sexuality and romance, and that has to define romance with matters of sexuality.

Yes, it's a fucked up world. But it's the world live in, and these are the hands we're given. (Oh yeah, I totally just went there.)

I don't even know where we are going now. ALTY SAVE US!!!!!!!!!!!

[Luna]

All joking aside, there is something wrong with a culture that has to define 'love' in and around matters of sexuality and romance, and that has to define romance with matters of sexuality.

Very, very true, this.

[Salty]

I love you Alty.

But are you fuckin' queer for him?  That is the real question.

I thought the "no homo" was implied. Can't be having any one think I want a penis in my anus now can we. It would be scandalous.

Yes, we certainly can't have that rumor flying around willy-nilly. Just think of how all the old ladies would look at you.

In other news, for the OP, I definitely also love you, Alty. (No hetero).

All joking aside, there is something wrong with a culture that has to define 'love' in and around matters of sexuality and romance, and that has to define romance with matters of sexuality.

Yes, it's a fucked up world. But it's the world live in, and these are the hands we're given. (Oh yeah, I totally just went there.)

I don't even know where we are going now. ALTY SAVE US!!!!!!!!!!!

No.

Seriously...no. It's a good thing for everyone that I'm not in charge anything.

[Don Coyote]

I love you Alty.

But are you fuckin' queer for him?  That is the real question.

I thought the "no homo" was implied. Can't be having any one think I want a penis in my anus now can we. It would be scandalous.

Yes, we certainly can't have that rumor flying around willy-nilly. Just think of how all the old ladies would look at you.

In other news, for the OP, I definitely also love you, Alty. (No hetero).

All joking aside, there is something wrong with a culture that has to define 'love' in and around matters of sexuality and romance, and that has to define romance with matters of sexuality.

Yes, it's a fucked up world. But it's the world live in, and these are the hands we're given. (Oh yeah, I totally just went there.)

I don't even know where we are going now. ALTY SAVE US!!!!!!!!!!!

No.

Seriously...no. It's a good thing for everyone that I'm not in charge anything.

I think we should vote Alty as President or Generalissimo.

[Salty]

MY FIRST ACT AS PRESIDENT WILL BE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

[Don Coyote]

So what is it with Alaskan men? The more you tell us about them more confused I am about them.

[Luna]

MY FIRST ACT AS PRESIDENT WILL BE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

This strikes me as an excellent first move, actually...

[Salty]

So what is it with Alaskan men? The more you tell us about them more confused I am about them.

There's more of a mish-mash these days, but it's predominately over-weight, over-paid, christian, white, men who are supposed to be tough because they're Alaskan. This is the Last Frontier and people can't keep their spurs from jingling and jangling.

Then you mix this with isolation, darkness, cold, alcohol, and broad religious dickjabbery....
Even if you are gay they all appreciate someone who's 'straight acting', though I'll bet that's rampant elsewhere.

Personally, if I was with a dude I would not hold hands walking down the street unless I want to end up like, well, pick your senselessly murdered queer.

Unstable, socially and sexually repressed, ignorant, rich, armed. These are my people.

Then there's the not rich ones. You can get by as a complete moron here (SEE: Sarah Palin) and get paid more than most places in the US for doing fuck all. So there's this large community of aimless, well-paid, ignorant young men who have no idea what the world is like.

And they hate me because they want to fuck me. Or, rather, you know...

Fortunately they banded together to make sure no law passes that allow people to keep from being fired or refused services or refused living arrangements due to being gay. For people who think voting matters:

They RAN OUT OF BALLOTS because they sent out people who were unregistered to vote NO. People who were registered showed up and COULD NOT VOTE because the unregistered used them up.

There was no recount.

I guess Stalin was right about at least one thing, no?

I'm laughing so hard right now.