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Poomp, there it is!

Started by Cardinal Pizza Deliverance., May 12, 2012, 03:37:57 AM

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Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

May 12, 2012, 03:37:57 AM
Today I came home from work early due and have spent the last several hours on the toilet with a Reader's Digest. Since I can't go anywhere or do anything and I dropped my crochet hook in the bathtub, I will share with you a few tidbits of this month's Reader's Digest while my SO hunts down a new pack of wipes.

The Words of the Month are:

"Singlism" which, naturally, is the 'stereotyping, stigmatizing and discriminating against single adults'.

"Matrimania" is described as 'the myth that the only route to happiness is finding one partner who can meet your every emotional and social need'.

These terms apparently originated in 'The Atlantic' but now they are entirely en vogue because RD has put them out there.

---

According to RD, parents are organizing chicken pox parties on Facebook. Parents who want to immunize their kids without vaccinations pay the parents of kids with the pox to send them anything from blankets to candy to used healthcare items in order to spread the itchy, itchy love. RD got this information from 'Medical News Today'.

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There is a website, my.microbes.eu that lets you send a stool sample and 2 grand to have the microbes in your poop analyzed and then you are matched up with people who have similar microbes.

---

You can now be interred underwater, in the Neptune Memorial Reef : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FS-2LVXDLoQ
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

EK WAFFLR

#1
May 12, 2012, 08:17:47 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 12, 2012, 03:37:57 AM
Today I came home from work early due and have spent the last several hours on the toilet with a Reader's Digest. Since I can't go anywhere or do anything and I dropped my crochet hook in the bathtub, I will share with you a few tidbits of this month's Reader's Digest while my SO hunts down a new pack of wipes.

The Words of the Month are:

"Singlism" which, naturally, is the 'stereotyping, stigmatizing and discriminating against single adults'.

"Matrimania" is described as 'the myth that the only route to happiness is finding one partner who can meet your every emotional and social need'.

These terms apparently originated in 'The Atlantic' but now they are entirely en vogue because RD has put them out there.

---

According to RD, parents are organizing chicken pox parties on Facebook. Parents who want to immunize their kids without vaccinations pay the parents of kids with the pox to send them anything from blankets to candy to used healthcare items in order to spread the itchy, itchy love. RD got this information from 'Medical News Today'.

---

There is a website, my.microbes.eu that lets you send a stool sample and 2 grand to have the microbes in your poop analyzed and then you are matched up with people who have similar microbes.

---

You can now be interred underwater, in the Neptune Memorial Reef : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FS-2LVXDLoQ

I poomped. Should I send it to my microbes?
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#2
May 13, 2012, 06:17:27 AM
If you've got $2,000 - go for it. :) Let me know who they hook you up with. It could have interesting SCIENCE-type lulz attached.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
May 13, 2012, 11:46:52 AM
Why is it cheaper to get your DNA indexed than it is to get your poop microbes analyzed?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#4
May 14, 2012, 06:17:10 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on May 13, 2012, 11:46:52 AM
Why is it cheaper to get your DNA indexed than it is to get your poop microbes analyzed?

One of the great mysteries of this century. I wonder if there's a discount for a bulk shipment. :P If we got everyone here together to kick ten bucks and a bag of poo . . .
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

EK WAFFLR

#5
May 14, 2012, 12:38:35 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 14, 2012, 06:17:10 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on May 13, 2012, 11:46:52 AM
Why is it cheaper to get your DNA indexed than it is to get your poop microbes analyzed?

One of the great mysteries of this century. I wonder if there's a discount for a bulk shipment. :P If we got everyone here together to kick ten bucks and a bag of poo . . .

This is a great idea! The Collective Poo of PDDOTCOM analyzed. I'll join!

I don't have $2000 to analyse my own poo anyway.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#6
May 15, 2012, 12:58:51 AM
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on May 14, 2012, 12:38:35 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 14, 2012, 06:17:10 AM
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on May 13, 2012, 11:46:52 AM
Why is it cheaper to get your DNA indexed than it is to get your poop microbes analyzed?

One of the great mysteries of this century. I wonder if there's a discount for a bulk shipment. :P If we got everyone here together to kick ten bucks and a bag of poo . . .

This is a great idea! The Collective Poo of PDDOTCOM analyzed. I'll join!

I don't have $2000 to analyse my own poo anyway.

I think the outcome will be an isolated and quantifiable rage-based secretion.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIR™
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.
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